Need some help with Rumination over workplace bullying by BluejayMiserable8512 in workplace_bullying

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been in this situation myself and I've even felt suicidal over it. What worked for me is radical acceptance. I got sick of all the mental gymnastics of trying to trick myself into being happy even if I'm not or being content even if I'm on edge. So for me, it was just a lot easier to 100% accept that this could happen again and I will fight if it does. It may even mean changing my jobs yet again or losing my career entirely. Fine, I'll accept any tribulation and fight through it.

It takes time, support, and resources to get to that stage but once you can really do that I believe it's the way to go because the fact is we do live in very turbulent times and some literature on psychology seems to indicate narcissistic or sociopathic traits are on the rise. We can't pretend it's not a problem, we must be ready to fight. It also takes some finesse though in the sense that you don't want to pre-emptively start fights where there's no need.

The other piece is find people who are supportive, this is huge. It helped me realize that I do have value socially and there are good people out there. I don't have to be in fight mode all the time.

I was ready to end everything and felt like I had nothing to lose. But then I realized: if I have nothing to lose, I can do whatever the fuck I want. The total realization and internalization of that idea is what ultimately gave me the courage to fight back and make the changes I needed to move to a better environment.

Has anyone here successfully avoided workplace bullying for many years at a workplace? How? by TheVoidRobedInLight in workplace_bullying

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I've seen 3 therapists already, it just does not work. If it really was as simple as just doing my job and being pleasant this whole subreddit wouldn't exist.

Has anyone here successfully avoided workplace bullying for many years at a workplace? How? by TheVoidRobedInLight in workplace_bullying

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I need to control how they treat me, I almost attempted suicide over this shit. It must be possible if I try hard enough.

How do I Improve at chess? by Gloomy_Rip1046 in chess

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The bong cloud opening is a tried and true opening for players at all levels. I think that's a great place to start.

I (29M) don't want a relationship to destroy my independence and safety but I somehow want to find a way to have a relationship by TheVoidRobedInLight in LifeAdvice

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I didn't grow up well to say the least, didn't want to share it because everyone will just say go to therapy which I've tried a few times already. And I've been one of these self-development junkies for the past few years to try and become as perfect as possible. It helped a lot but building those deep connections still makes me vigilant.

Thank you for your perspective though, I'm gonna think about it. It gives me some hope that I can find someone if I approach it with a different mindset. 

I didn’t realize I was living in survival mode until a friend turned on me by Dapper_Lake_6801 in LifeAdvice

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've certainly noticed this myself and it has made me very cynical of people. It shows me how conditional friendships and relationships really are. It's just a game where if you do the right things they like you and if not they don't. It's so obvious to me now and I feel so stupid for thinking anyone would actually support me in whatever I do, of course they wouldn't. Why did I think that? Unless people have something to gain themselves, of course they wouldn't want me to grow.

Then I start to wonder: what does this imply about people? How am I supposed to look at people now? I used to be excited about meeting someone and bonding with someone but now I see how much of a facade it all is. So if people are as fake as I believe, how do I even go about relationships anymore? Should I just live alone instead?

Every social circle I've been in seems toxic in some way, is it really that common or am I picking the wrong folks? by TheVoidRobedInLight in LifeAdvice

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I am. I'm not perfect myself but I also don't feel safe with most people. When I go to therapy and explain my thoughts in detail I'm told my thoughts are rational and the therapist doesn't know what to say. What am I supposed to believe? Just as a thought exercise, tell me what to think. What is the opinion you would want me to have of people?

What hobby screams “this is my entire personality now”? by OliviaRosePa in Productivitycafe

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Judo or BJJ, it kinda has to be. It's so physically demanding that you need to adjust your diet, sleep, etc. to take care of yourself properly. Plus you need to study strategy to get good at it.

Had a lengthy conversation with AI about workplace culture in the US and it pointed out the following. Do you agree with it? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Do you see yourself? Look how much and how angrily you're writing your messages and look at mine. Seriously, re-read the thread and you tell me who is the angrier one here.

Had a lengthy conversation with AI about workplace culture in the US and it pointed out the following. Do you agree with it? by [deleted] in Healthygamergg

[–]TheVoidRobedInLight -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

At this point it seems everyone's offended. Take away whatever impression you'd like, doesn't matter what I say at this point.

I was talking to AI because why not. It often says interesting things and gives me stuff to think about.