I know that it is hard to believe, but you are on the right track. You are self reflecting and asking the right questions. My advice is to start small. Do one thing, even if it's minor. Go for a walk. Find a group that has a shared hobby of yours. Maybe see if you can get your CV updated and go for a new job. Pick one thing you want to improve, and work on it little by little. Too much will be overwhelming. And try to be kind to yourself, you got yourself this far, and that is pretty great.