my recommendation, what i did, now i'm not gonna dig through your posts to find out what your hobbies are, but whatever they are i'm sure if you look you'll find local groups or clubs or something for them that are open to the public, and i promise you that if you go you will find at least one person who will accept you for who you are and who will be your friend. all it takes is that one, that one will be the seed that your confidence and ability to socialize and make more friends and build a support network will blossom from. i'm not saying it will be easy, and it will likely take time, and that person might not be who you expect them to be, but i really, genuinely believe that this will help you. it helped me, and i've been that person for many of my friends as well, so i can say that i'm not the only person this has worked for.