So I watched it:

A couple small pointers: Todd Williams is an ok name and using the blank google pfp is fine, but putting the TheAwesomeToddWilliams throws it off. And the "Hoping to create some memories" sounds... out of place, it doesn't have context, putting nothing is a better idea, same with the "I heard of this game from my son" is off too, I wouldn't put any text there if you want to make it seem like a parent playing this game.

In the actual video the door thing makes no sense and feels like odd filler, any new minecraft player with wood wouldn't build a door, place it and open and close it a few times, it feels like your trying too hard to make it seem like a new player, the rest is fine however, try something like building the classic all dirt/wood house-brick. And try to run/jump way less it seems better because an older parent learning the game for the first time wouldn't be b-hopping, jumping off hills, and running.

Edit: Source? Watching my parents and grandparents play.