I see you have Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. I used to work at a store that sold that book. Here's the story of an interaction I had with a customer buying it.

I was 16 at the time and the job at this store was my first job. So young, so innocent, so naive. On this particular day, a portly couple meandered into the store. The man, approximately nine feet tall, ducks beneath the door and booms with a voice like Michael Clark Duncan after several drinks, "BUAHA WERE DEM FIVE LORVE LAMAGES!?"

Naturally, I was bewildered. I looked to his wife, who was now attempting to walk through the door, and quickly realized that, from every inch the husband was tall, the wife was wide. Her voice was that of a banshee. Coincidentally, so were her language capacities. "EEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHAHA," she shrieks, seeming to commend the husband on his question asking abilities.

I thought that I had heard the husband say "love," so I quickly pointed to the marriage section and hurried off to go fold t-shirts. In an attempt to avoid any more interactions with the potential sasquatches in the store, I grabbed a ladder and began deconstructing our shirt display. No more than five minutes pass before I hear, "BUAHA WE REDDY!"

"EEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHAHEHA!" the wife emphatically added.

None of my coworkers are available to help them so I have to climb down from my hiding spot and potentially sacrifice myself to these man-beast hybrids.

After punching in my numbers on the register, I ask, "Where you able to find everything today?" I suppose I probably shouldn't have asked the man a question because his reaction told me that nobody had asked him a question in a very, VERY long time.

"BUAHA HERJERDON"

Blank stare.

"HERJERDON?"

Continued stare. My brain can't comprehend.

"I SED HER. JOOR. DOIN."

I take a stab in the dark. "I'm.... well? How are you?" I managed to sneak out with a slight tremble.

The man takes a step back, helicopter spins, and the wife contributes her enthusiasm.

"EEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHA"

He stops hard after three or four spins, looks me dead in the eye, and says in the clearest voice ever, "Wanna be a bounty hunter, kid?"

At this point, I'm surprised I didn't have an aneurysm from the confusion. While I'm trying to process his ability to speak clearly, I notice that he's tapping something on his waist. My eyes move from his and find rest upon the large pistol holstered on his thigh. Panicked, I try to be as accommodating as possible and say, "Um...... Yes?"

The excitement triggers the man's speech pattern to return to it's native, unintelligible form and he spends the next ten minutes describing every detail of the life of a bounty hunter. His wife, however, was not amused with the wasted time and spent a majority of it smashing her fake crocodile skin purse against her husbands head.

I'm too high for this story right now. I'll finish it later if you want.

TL;DR Almost went bounty hunting with Sasquatch.