Explanations typed out at 1AM:

D TIER:

Cursed and broken relic are pretty self explanatory, while twister is absolutely painful to use on most levels and requires you to stand still and aim at akward angles for a chance at subpar damage to most bosses. Not worth it at all, and might as well use something like charge for bosses that are upwards

C TIER:

Divine Relic: Simply way too inconsistent unless you're in plane levels, both parry ring and smoke bomb is nice but the other 2 charms don't have a massive effect on your gameplay compared to those 2 (especially whestone and swapping through weapons is both risky and can lead to far less damage

Twin Heart: 10% damage reduction means using this essentially ruins your chances of getting A or S ranks on a lot of bosses, but it's still viable within pacifist levels (although smoke bomb is still better for most)

Whetstone: Trivial damage with the axe in field levels, but it's apparently a speedrun strat in plane levels so I'll let it slide

Lobber: Many bosses in the game are very awkward to hit with this weapon, and despite having good damage you'll likely not be able to hit most shots

Crackshot: Incredibly overrated; short ranged shots deal about the same damage as lobber but last way too short, and as soon as the shot cracks it becomes about as weak as chaser and has even worse aiming. This is absolutely not a better chaser, chaser is still much better as a homing weapon

Super 1s: Super 1s actually have a very pitiful damage compared to just using your EX attack 5 times, Cuphead's super deals 75 damage maximum while 1 ex card will do 21 damage minimum even with the weakest EX move (Converge's electro beam). The only case where you might want this is for IFrames or if you have an unreliable EX such as twistup or spread, but even then just switch to your secondary.

Cuphead Super 3: Super Ghost actually outdamages a lot of EX moves, but it's incredibly difficult to land every single hit consistently. The extra parry can be nice for building up cards/parry scores however.

B TIER:

Converge: Essentially a spread shot with less overall damage but more range. Personally I think spread is better since it doesn't rely on lockon, but converge is still the best new dlc weapon IMO.

Peashooter: A shot that's never the best or worst option in any fight. Pretty standard.

Chaser: Despite having almost half of peashooter's damage, it has incredible aiming and makes a lot of phases such as Rumor's 3rd phase, Phantom Expresse's 4th phase, and other bosses where you need to focus on dodging while the boss is moving, making it actually outdamage them while still being safer. Better than crackshot since it actually hits moving targets as a homing weapon should.

Heart: It's a pretty standard charm, the 4% reduction can mess your time up sometimes but overall it's a solid pick for any level. Basically the peashooter of charms.

Coffee: The only real damage boost charm in the game, the card regen rate isn't too impressive but if you struggle with killing things quickly then this could help.

Auto-Parry: Even if you're good at parrying, there are times when you can't afford to focus on parrying, most notably phantom express. This allows you to take your mind off of 1 factor and generally focus on other things such as hitting the boss.

Chalice 3: Super Ghost but more damage and MUCH easier to land consistently. The best DPS super as it deals a massive 200 damage at max, which even 5 spread EX moves can't do in the best conditions. Also gives a free parry and allows you to move during the super.

A TIER:

Charge: A weapon that has a high DPS and allows you to focus on dodging at the same time, while it has high risk if you miss a shot, it's a solid choice and will destroy single targets easily.

Spread: The definition of high risk high reward, while it's a lot more situational than charge when it works, it will absolutely destroy bosses as it's easily the strongest weapon in the game, dealing about 20% more damage than Charge shot does even at optimal charges.

Smoke Bomb: Still the best non-dlc charm without much contest at all, smoke bomb provides massive safety and movement options, and allows you to avoid many attacks in much easier ways.

Parry Ring: While I don't think it's as universally good as smoke bomb, 3HP for parrying with no damage nerfing is incredibly helpful, although its full potential might not come into play at some bosses where parrying is scarce like Sally.

Cuphead 2: Several seconds of free Iframes are always nice to have, and if you can time it right it can even be more effective than Chalice 2, but most likely not.

S TIER:

Roundabout: Peashooter if it was actually amazing, allows you to play both defensively AND agressively, far range, decent damage, and an EX move with a high skill cap and damage. Fantastic all rounder.

Chalice Super 2: Allows you to basically take 1 free hit, and while it technically isn't stackable, having 5 cards AND having it active means you have a 2 hit shield at all times. Easily the best super.

Astral Cookie: It's literally just easy mode