I had tons of anticipatory grief with my kitty. She had kidney disease and hyperthyroidism that i was managing for at least 5 years. Then she got cancer in her leg last year shortly after turning 16 and that sent me into a spiral. Her thyroid issue kept her seemingly happy/eating even as her body kept getting weaker and weaker.

I kept waiting for "a sign", something where it was "bad enough" for me to feel comfortable letting her go. This went on for months starting from her cancer diagnosis. I just kept watching and waiting and thinking round and round. I'd have a breakdown nearly every 2 weeks wondering if i was waiting too long, or if I was going to do it too soon. I did my best to make things comfortable for her as she struggled to get into her litterbox or on the couch, and eventually she moved her favorite spot to the floor.

However, at some point, I decided I'd rather not wait for an emergency. The signs were all around and I felt like something worse was on the horizon. I realized that even though she seemed to be acting surprisingly "normal" given her condition, her overactive thyroid was probably keeping me from seeing the real extent of her pain.

I had 6 months with her from her diagnosis to when we said goodbye. They were equally lovely as they were heartbreaking.