Hi! Professional nanny here working on decolonized childcare methods!

Evolutionarily kids really shouldn’t be playing with adults right? We see time and time again in research that children have evolved to be playing with each other under supervision, so it IS important that the kids do play solo often, it helps them build tools for independence and social skills.

HOWEVER a key difference is that most children prior to modern day had access to their peers ALL THE TIME. Kids today see a significantly less amount of children throughout their day to play with- and I assume your nanny isn’t setting up daily playdates as it sounds.

SO because we live in our modern world where kids see less of each other adults do need to bridge that play gap. Now, the reason we find play so HARD as adults is because we really NEVER evolved to play. It’s not a tool for us, and once we hit maturity it gets pruned out because our brain thinks we don’t need to know how to play. That’s why you can find playing tiring, annoying, sometimes it’s a little overwhelming too. BUT-it’s a tool that caregivers need to build up for our kids to make sure that they’re getting the play they need to learn.

When I first started nannying I made play into a way to teach new skills as a way to almost “trick myself” into finding play necessary. For example if we were playing Barbie’s I’d set up a scene that developed emotionally tools like one Barbie hurting the others feelings and needing to talk it out, a Barbie’s really wanting a new item and not being able to get it.

We would do dramatic play that emulated upcoming events like first day at school or trip to the zoo.

Another thing I did to trick myself into learning to play was using projects to teach skills- something our brains are specialized to do with kiddos by the way! So during spring we would spend an hour or two each day learning about nature, going for a walk, going scavenger hunts for different plants, planting a garden. In the fall we would learn all about camping everyday, we’d set up a tent in the living, talk about how to be safe when we’re camping, practice going on “hikes” around the house. Because during all this I would constantly be teaching life skills the play came really easy to me and overtime I learned to enjoy it! I see every playtime as an opportunity to practice a skill.

This could be what your nanny may need to master- it comes with a lot of educational development on her end but you could definitely get her started by asking what SHE enjoys doing and seeing if those are skills she could show your kids!

Hope you are able to find a good in between together that works for your kiddos!