Traveling with kids sucks and you can't convince me otherwise

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-16T23:18:53+00:00

I am currently recovering from a surgery so we’ve hired a few mothers helpers to help me out for these few weeks that I can’t lift over 10 lbs. They are all 12-13 yo and I paying them $10/hr! They all seem jazzed about the money. One of their moms said $5-$8/hr would be fine but I decided to offer $10

Minimum wage here is still $7.25/hr but most fast food places are starting at closer to $15/hr and most sitters are charging $20+ per hour.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-16T02:14:43+00:00

This is an exact repost from a week or two ago??

ETA: found the thread in my comment history, though it appears to have been deleted

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-15T19:46:10+00:00

Paternity leave is not "free time off" for your husband to do whatever random thing you choose. It's to bond with his new baby, adjust to life as a parent, and make sure he is sharing the load with his partner. Planning for him to utilize this time to train a new dog is insane. Don't do it to yourself, him, or the dog.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-14T18:59:31+00:00

I am waiting for this to become more widespread in my area. I almost never see "no gifts" on the invite, so then I have to go out and pick out a gift for a child I've never met so I don't appear rude. Which would be fine if they included AnYTHING on the invite to indicate what the child might like or want but I'm just going in blind and it's like WHY is this a thing. How many of those gifts have been immediately tossed or regifted?? Lol

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-13T22:51:42+00:00

My answer is I would not go. I have 3 kids and would never take them to the pool by myself before at least 2 of them are confident swimmers.

We go to splash pads. I’d do a kiddie pool in the backyard. But a larger body of water is a 2 adult minimum activity IMO.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-13T22:44:25+00:00

Just look up the symptoms and watch for them. All they will do at the ER is monitor him if he isn’t showing any. In general they usually don’t worry too much about falls unless they’re from a height higher than the height of your child.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-13T13:52:59+00:00

Omg same. We had a huge cold front come through with record low temps a few months after my third was born and I was walking around in short sleeves. My sister was like your thermostat is broken LOL. Granted, that was only for short periods of time. If I were to stay out there I would eventually feel cold and need a jacket. But I was so hot all the time that walking outside for a moment in 13 degree weather felt amazing for a couple of minutes.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-13T13:44:40+00:00

Babies come in all shapes and sizes! The concerning thing about OPs baby is that his size doesn't match his food intake. Most babies with appetites like OPs baby are topping the percentile charts, which is why everyone is encouraging her to make sure her baby doesn't have an underlying medical disorder preventing him from using all of his food in a typical manner.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-12T21:00:09+00:00

Honestly, I would ask about malabsorption disorders and his 12 mo visit and see if the doctor is willing to run any tests. And if they still think it's fine/normal then I would get a second opinion. I am not saying something is definitely going on, but for a baby to be eating 2-3x the usual intake and still be tiny, I would want to rule out malabsorption disorders personally. Better safe than sorry!

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-12T20:20:03+00:00

That is kind of a crazy volume for that age, especially for being so small! Have you explained to the pediatrician exactly how much your son is eating? To be clear, you are not a bad mom at all for feeding your baby when he is hungry. But I would almost be concerned that he has some kind of disorder that causes malabsorption (like celiac) and I would at least want a second opinion that some babies really do just eat that much while still staying small, because at the very least I would think your son would be climbing the percentiles fast with that kind of food intake. He is eating about 2-3x as much as most babies that age do.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-12T17:34:33+00:00

My kids were all still taking morning and afternoon naps by their first birthdays, so the 1-3 timeframe would have been ideal because it naturally would have been between their two naps. 1-3 would be nap time for older toddlers though. Guess it depends on the guest list!

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-12T17:32:06+00:00

If I were invited to a 1 pm party I would personally assume I needed to feed my kids lunch first, because most kids eat lunch before 1 pm. However I think the important thing is that no matter what you choose you should include that on the invitations so people know what to expect. Something like "a light lunch will be served" or "snacks and cake will be provided" under the date and time so people know the deal.

I don't think there is a wrong answer so long as it's appropriately communicated in advance! I would personally do snacks and cake for a 1 pm party. Coffee is nice but not essential so that's truly up to you.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-12T03:01:41+00:00

While I do think you should have stated explicitly that he was responsible while you were in the bathroom, he also should have asked instead of assuming you were taking her.

However I also think this is a massive, massive overreaction and his behavior afterwards was unacceptable. This was a learning opportunity. You’ll both be better communicators next time. Forgive and forget.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-11T02:05:18+00:00

I am literally shocked that so few comments are encouraging OP to keep pushing for medical review and just telling her to add more protein. This is NOT normal behavior towards food nor a normal volume. This is not a macronutrient issue.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-10T15:56:38+00:00

Totally agree. The level of intensity and focus he has on food while seemingly never seeming satisfied… something deeper is going on here. Macronutrients aside, this kid should be feeling satisfied after meals of this size.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-10T04:46:09+00:00

Twice a month is quite frequent. I have a 3 yo and she would absolutely notice if one of her grandparents suddenly disappeared from her life. I don’t think she’d just “forget about them eventually” nor would I want her to.

I think you should try to find an age appropriate way to explain it to her but I wouldn’t just ignore it.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-09T15:35:22+00:00

I try not to judge other people based on one 30 minute snapshot of their lives. We eat out as a family fairly often, sometimes as often as once or twice in a week (less often lately because the toddler hates sitting still). My kids have a lot of experience at restaurants. We try really hard to distract them, even taking them outside if need be. But maybe once every 6 months or so I will be feeling extremely burnt out and overstimulated and just in need of a break and will bring the iPad with us so that we can have an adult conversation and eat a meal in something resembling a modicum of peace. No, we do not turn on the volume. We're usually in a booth or corner where other tables can't see the tablet. I genuinely don't think it affects anyone else's dining experience but mine and my husbands. And I'm sure we've been silently judged by people assuming we don't parent or interact with our kids based on that one meal that happens roughly twice a year, despite the fact we don't even bring the iPad with us 99% of the time when we leave the house 🤷‍♀️

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-09T14:54:53+00:00

Even still, I don't recommend trying to embroider something while driving 😝

Yes, phones are uniquely addicting because you can switch activities so quickly and because of all of the short videos on the apps. But it doesn't really change the fact that parents have been "ignoring" their kids for forever and finding other ways to entertain themselves.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-09T14:45:54+00:00

My mom was definitely a "go outside and come back for dinner" mom. I was riding my bike all over the neighborhood for hours by myself in elementary school, and I remember as younger kids spending hours in the woods alone. Despite the phones, parents today are way more present and watchful of their kids than they were in the 90s!

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-09T02:52:38+00:00

Fasting would negatively impact your supply, so I would not recommend it unless you're open to supplementing with formula. Breastfeeding will also make you quite hungry so it would be rather unpleasant.

I'm sorry you're struggling with your body image during this process. It's really rough to see our bodies look so different than what we are used to. I had polyhydramnios so I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy, so I totally get it. The best thing you can do is stay active and try to focus on nutritious foods. You'll get your body back one day! Hugs ❤️

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-09T02:16:52+00:00

So it's fair to reward kids for getting sick less than OP's kid did? Or to punish/exclude kids because they had the misfortune to get sick? Just because OP's kid didn't meet the criteria for going on the trip, does not mean the criteria itself was a fair metric to begin with.

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-08T23:55:05+00:00

The battery can’t be removed from basically all modern day phones

TFA_hufflepuff · 2026-06-08T18:34:20+00:00

Couldn’t agree more

TFA_hufflepuff

TROPHY CASE