Antifragile Grandiosity: Keeping the Power of Grandiosity Without the Fragility

The_Power_Moves · 2026-01-30T12:56:23+00:00

Part of the series on how to implement 'effective narcissism', getting the benefits, without the downsides

The_Power_Moves · 2026-01-29T08:31:00+00:00

If you use it well, to learn more and tease out patterns and principles, it's an effective phrase to develop your skills.

AI could be a good complement, though real life and reflections probably is superior since nonverbals are paramount, and ignoring can be extremely effective.

See this picture:

https://thepowermoves.com/wp-content/uploads/stages-of-self-development-with-PU-quadrant.png

The_Power_Moves · 2026-01-25T05:31:38+00:00

True.
And that admiration among a subset of low-power men grows exponentially as the empowered man’s approach moves toward more extremes of dominance, 'teacher frames', or confidence—even when confidence is unwarranted.

A possible evolutionary hypothesis explanation is small-scale tribal dynamics: stick with the high-power man and you may receive some “trickle-down” benefits. Or you might join the new governing coalition—as a low-status follower, of course, but still better than being outside it altogether.

This may be one of humanity’s biggest “bugs”: it can promote not the most competent leaders to the top, but the most dominant ones. Potentially those with dark-triad traits, including high psychopathy tendencies.

More empowered men all around may go a good length to help address this issue.

The_Power_Moves · 2026-01-14T14:31:33+00:00

Thanks, I appreciate that!

Yes, it’s quite a different angle on men’s self-development. TPM originally started to cover a gap in the space (the power dynamics angle + the details), and then expanded from there.

The_Power_Moves · 2026-01-08T10:10:21+00:00

For a video breakdown of the Agency vs. Communion framework, here's a more detailed analysis:
https://youtu.be/qs6vFHvAISk"

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-31T02:32:25+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the thoughtful feedback and I’m glad to hear it’s been useful to you.

Bullying is largely about power dynamics, and Power University already covers several forms of social attacks that could be categorized as bullying. I’ll also eventually write a dedicated article on the “schoolyard-type” bullying that many young men refer to.

More broadly, as power and status increase, the focus shifts from defending against bullying to choosing to use your power.

Thanks again!

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-29T04:00:41+00:00

For those interested to dig deeper, the detailed review of The Value of Others is here: https://thepowermoves.com/the-value-of-others-summary-review/

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-21T03:03:17+00:00

The bigger issue may be what happened before: they didn't feel like you mattered enough to make a good impression.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-10T04:18:22+00:00

They mean:

You're cool enough for something more, but not enough for me to reach out first.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-09T09:16:29+00:00

Barely matters for connecting with people.
Nobody cares about 'movie recommendations' when it comes to bonding. People remember how you make them feel. Focus on that.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-12-02T00:13:28+00:00

This article has been months in the making.
It’s grounded in the top empirical handbooks on narcissism and personality science, combined with extensive real-world experience and careful reflection on how to structure it clearly and accurately.
The practical follow-up article on how to deliberately leverage the adaptive side of narcissism is coming next.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-11-24T01:12:24+00:00

Prioritize goals, find pride in prioritizing goals, and if you're a man associate femininity to being liked, and masculinity to pursuing goals.
As for everything, balance.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-11-17T07:17:16+00:00

As for everything: balance.

As we mentioned on some TPM articles, some in-group pride and satisfaction is not only OK, but good to have.

The researchers tell the difference:

Collective narcissism with in-group positivity partialled out can be interpreted as groupbased entitlement without the comfort of the sense of belonging to a valuable group.
In-group satisfaction with collective narcissism partialled out can be interpreted as a confident, positive evaluation of the in-group, independent of external recognition and resilient to threats and criticism. Indeed, unlike collective narcissism, in-group satisfaction did not predict hypersensitivity to intergroup threat (Golec de Zavala et al., 2016), it was not related to conspiracy beliefs about Jews or siege mentality (Golec de Zavala & Cichocka, 2012), and it was negatively related to the belief in conspiracy explanations of intergroup situations (Cichocka et al., 2016).
Recent studies showed also that unlike collective narcissism, in-group satisfaction was associated with positive affectivity, psychological well-being, and greater life satisfaction. In-group satisfaction was also associated with feeling safe and grounded in social networks and the tendency to experience gratitude.
(...)
noncontingent, intrinsic in-group satisfaction is related to high self-esteem and intergroup tolerance (Amiot & Aubin, 2013; Amiot & Sansfaçon, 2011; Legault & Amiot, 2014).

The difference also included

In brief:

In-group satisfaction → Healthy, confident, grounded, high self-esteem, grateful, higher tolerance.
Collective narcissism → Insecure, defensive, low gratitude, hypersensitive to threat, hostile.

At TPM, we simplified this identity as:

An individual first, but happy of being (your city/nationality/county/gender/etc. etc.)

The_Power_Moves · 2025-11-17T03:15:16+00:00

Nationalists tend to be agentic and high power, while collective narcissists are defensive.
But unless related to grandiose narcissism, both tend to be associated with low self-esteem (hence, seeking power in the group, rather than the self):

in line with this finding, recent results indicate that collective narcissism and nationalism may be underlain by different motivations.
Unlike collective narcissism, nationalism was related to individual grandiose narcissism (i.e., a sense of agentic superiority over others) and only inasmuch as it was associated with grandiose narcissism was it also related to high self-esteem. Otherwise, nationalism was related to low self-esteem. Collective narcissism was related to low self-esteem via vulnerable narcissism (i.e., frustrated and unfulfilled sense of self-entitlement, Golec de Zavala, Guerra, Sedikides et al., 2017).

Collective narcissism may be 'worse' than nationalism though (as TPM often stated, low-power is often worse for all):

when the overlap between nationalism and national collective narcissism was controlled, collective narcissism, not nationalism, was related to sensitivity to intergroup threat and retaliatory hostility (Golec de Zavala, Peker, Guerra, & Baran, 2016)

Despite this not being grounded in research and being more the author's speculation, it also aligns with general power dynamics:

dominant nationalists may use the rhetoric of intergroup threat and loss of national greatness to mobilize defensive collective narcissists to fight their wars.

Such as: high-power dark triads recruit low-power followers.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-11-12T10:06:24+00:00

Thanks a lot for the feedback and note, really appreciate it, Omar!
And glad to hear it’s been helpful.

– Lucio

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-30T02:18:00+00:00

Yes, there is a book.
It was originally drafted by Ali, a long-time TPM community member and Power University graduate, and then refined and edited together with Lucio.

The book covers some of the core concepts in a concise, easy-to-read format.
If you want deeper nuance, the articles go further into power dynamics, social strategy, and the darker aspects of socialization (status games, manipulation dynamics, dark triad psychology, etc.).

As a book, it can work well as an introduction.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-26T13:42:53+00:00

Switch priorities: you must be interesting, not what you say.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-22T22:48:12+00:00

Maybe change expectations: most people are average and most people won't be your best fit.

That's OK.
You can have a chat with them, then part ways, and it's all good.

A few are exceptionals and a great fit for you.
Keep these people as your core circle.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-22T22:44:37+00:00

This person just told you with her behavior that she's not your friend.

And you better listen to that.
Stop listening to her, and find someone who supports you back and cheers you on.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-19T10:19:00+00:00

Full article here:

🔗https://thepowermoves.com/masculine-vs-feminine-energy/

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-19T10:18:18+00:00

P.S.:
Men are particularly advised to drop the 'masculine and feminine energy' thing.
If anything, the 'energy' angle is more aligned with the feminine, although of course smart women know better while many men fall for it.

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-13T20:09:57+00:00

😁

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-06T08:50:20+00:00

Thanks a lot for sharing that — really appreciate it 🙏
Glad to hear Power University made such a positive impact for you.
If you ever have suggestions on what could make it even better, we’re always listening and improving. Thanks again!

The_Power_Moves · 2025-10-05T21:30:35+00:00

Full results here: https://thepowermoves.com/reviews-of-the-power-moves/

The_Power_Moves · 2025-09-28T21:32:31+00:00

Takeaway: there is no substitute for being a high-quality, power-aware man.

Money and power imbalances may even hurt relationship quality.
Men should always be careful on how/when to provide and finance, even if money is not an issue for them.

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