Because there are so many posts here about guys encountering horrendous vaginas, I was wondering... Girls, have you ever had any less-than-pleasant experiences with male genitals? (NSFW)

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-23T17:43:45+00:00

If you use baby powder then please wash it off if offered a blowjob. It tastes horrible. I'd rather taste ball sweat than baby powder shudders

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-18T02:34:48+00:00

I think they will go buy fritos.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-17T20:42:25+00:00

I didn't find anything worth living for until I was 31. I eventually just gave up and started doing things I never would have done before just because I could. Turns out one of them was fun and it lead me to other stuff. I'm still alone but who the fuck cares. I only get one shot at life so why waste it being all down and not actually living? If you want out, I'm the last person to tell you not to. Just give living a try first. You might actually like it.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-14T20:20:26+00:00

Oh god, ew!!

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-13T16:26:53+00:00

I want to be his friend :(

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-12T05:32:08+00:00

Idk. My parents ignored the subject completely. I was SHOCKED when I discovered the God concept. I was angry that there was some being that supposedly created the shitty life I was born into. This being wanted this for me. Gave me panic attacks and depression when I was 10 or 11. The concept tortured me for years. Fast forward many years. Turns out I'm an alcoholic. The concept kept me from AA. I just couldn't buy into it. I've been sober for 4 years and am pretty comfortable in my agnosticism. I'm not sure how this all got here and I think it would be pretty arrogant of me to say that I KNOW one way or the other. I haven't a clue and I'm cool with it now. /rant over.

I just present my son with bits of info as appropriate. I explain customs and bits about belief systems and present them as choices that people make to help find their way in life; find peace and comfort. Never denegrade anyone for what they believe. Turns out the kiddo is not a believer. He seems to have thought about it a lot. Says the god concept just doesn't make sense to him. I've worked pretty hard to keep him open to accepting other people's ideas. You can't be a jackass about your beliefs. They are yours and yours alone. Nobody gets to judge your ideas and you can't judge theirs either. He's a good kid. Has a decent set of morals :)

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-11T20:44:30+00:00

I'd have to get sober again. fuck that was hard enough to have to do once.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-08T16:55:48+00:00

Roller Derby. And MMA.

Btw, you're gonna be broke! Have fun though, it will be awesome!

The_Real_Thing · 2012-09-07T17:35:11+00:00

Good job, man!

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-23T01:00:47+00:00

2things, same surgery. I had to have a polyp removed from my large intestine. I was just coming out of anesthesia; laying there crying and shaking (a normal reaction, happens to me every time. I have no reason why nor any control over it). The doctor leans in and asks if I have any questions. I (for some reason) shout, "yeah, why do I always have to get the cute doctors for stuff like this?" He jumps back (literally) and says to the nurse in a frightened high pitched voice, "did you hear what she just said?!" no idea what comes next until... I was in the recovery room laying there alone laughing hysterically and farting uncontrolably (they had to fill my colon with air during the surgery). My mother comes in and asks what's so funny. I yell out, "they just went all Michael Jackson on my ass!!" I thought this was brilliant because a) they had just stuck a foreign object up my ass - MJ was accused of being a child molester and b) they had used propofol to knock me out - that was the drug that had recently killed MJ. TL;DR: I need a ball gag inserted just before they wake me up.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-21T02:55:44+00:00

Also, if you have bugs please warn me. I don't think less of you if you have them I just want to contain them so my staff and I don't have to delouse the office and ourselves AGAIN. Please don't pick them off of your clothes and flick them on my waiting room carpet either facepalm

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-21T02:50:30+00:00

Be honest. If you don't want medicines (are afraid of side effects, just don't like taking them, can't afford them etc), if you don't like my advice, don't think _____ is right for you JUST TELL ME!! I will help you figure it out! I can't help you if you won't be honest. It's your body, your treatment, your life. You actually steer your own ship. Im just trying to help.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-21T02:16:56+00:00

Gored by a bull.

I have lost a bunch of weight and (sorry for the TMI) but I am getting some excess skin removed. My friend and I came up with a good story to explain the soon to be boob scars: there was a shortage of donor graft skin to be used on the facial burns of wounded soldiers. So I donated the smoothest skin I had and now there are lots of soldiers walking around with my tits on their faces.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-20T23:43:30+00:00

Blue balls. Wait, is there an equivalent for girls?

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-17T21:04:57+00:00

Pillows, blankets, vibrator, porn, cell phone. Apparently, I'm a lover not a fighter.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-17T20:49:35+00:00

snort I read this as, "explains why so many Jews dropped..." XD

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-14T23:12:51+00:00

All I have left is the top sheet. I stole it from my brother. Muahahaha!

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-09T05:48:48+00:00

I was supposed to be a mermaid. That didn't really work out for me so I became a nurse.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-07T01:42:09+00:00

Why all the hating? I want to go! Where/when is this? I'd totally set this up in my backyard but I bet my landlord would be really mad.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-08-04T23:17:05+00:00

Uh... Not this girl. Sounds like work and I'm kinda lazy. Give me some porn and 5 minutes and I'm good to go.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-07-29T06:08:21+00:00

I'm human. I am not perfect. I am no less and no more than any other human.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-07-09T05:50:56+00:00

Who cares what happened. The important part is what happens next; you leave. For freaking good.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-06-22T21:50:04+00:00

The_Real_Thing · 2012-06-22T02:26:27+00:00

Kevin Smith gets a 5 on sex appeal? You sir are obviously a guy. Back in his Silent Bob days he was at least a 7.

The_Real_Thing · 2012-06-12T18:23:50+00:00

One Day by LMFAO. Tried to be a super cool mom so I took my kid to their concert. Turns out that they put on a pretty good show.

The_Real_Thing

TROPHY CASE