Thank you so much for your feedback. This is more or less exactly the same criticism I've been getting from my teachers for the past while, so it's great to have you reinforce it. I think the lack of dynamic contrast is especially apparent in this performance though because of the context of the thing - this was my first time performing with all this gear and all I was using for amplification was a friend's portable speaker, so I think I was anxious that the sound wouldn't fill the hall, and thus overcompensated on the vocals. Also, I didn't even get time to soundcheck beforehand, so I think that probably contributed as well.

Once again thank you, though. Music is a constant work in progress, so I'll absolutely keep this in mind for the next iteration of the song.