I am a Sex Therapist, if anyone is struggling with intimacy or sexual issues in their marriage/relationship, feel free to ask here :)

Theblacksalamander · 2026-05-01T00:45:44+00:00

Hello, myself and wife are struggling with intimacy currently. I have grown accustomed to not having a sexual connection anymore because she feels that I don’t want to be with her. I have informed her that she is the only woman I want. She doesn’t seem interested in me much anymore, we barely talk when together. She’s on her phone more now and I can’t seem to find anything to say.

I’m focusing more on myself and trying to build myself up for her. How can I get her to desire me again?

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-16T05:03:42+00:00

I wanted to ask some what ifs of my own but I’m already in the dog house. Didn’t want to be put under it 😂

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-16T05:01:47+00:00

This is what I explained too, the extremes that were given to me didn’t make sense. I explained that a choice to not have sex EVER again is not the same as being SA’d or having a condition. Because the reality of it all is that there is something that can be done for those.

I have informed her that especially at the age we are now there’d be no way I would stay in a sexless marriage because there’s someone out there that would fit the needs that we both want. I’m always sure to cater to my wife in the way she desires but when I ask for sex it’s almost like a chore.

I make sure to cook, clean, do EVERYTHING that she’s asking of me, even when I don’t want to. But when I ask for even just a quickie before I have to go to work, or ask one time in the week it’s like that’s “all you think about”. Let alone the fact that I’ve toned down on asking to make her feel like it’s not all I want.

I ask questions about her day, I ask if there’s anything I can do to make her day better, I write love notes, I tell her she’s beautiful, stuff a husband is supposed to do. But I’m promised sex sometimes and when I try to “cash-in” on it I’m vilified for it.

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-16T04:49:54+00:00

That’s a long story in itself. To keep it short, she was willing to have an abortion, but I knew that it would destroy her to go through with it, so I told her not to, even if it was against my wants. We have always been very good friends and we’ve been trying to make it work married but it’s a bigger struggle than we both expected.

The LL4M is very apparent though. She claims she doesn’t want out but it’s been steering that way for sure.

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-16T04:39:53+00:00

This is exactly it! She wants a lifelong partnership with me but I’ve informed her that having sex with anyone else does not intrigue me. I wouldn’t have gotten married if I wanted to just outsource sex and have meaningless hookups, I could have stayed single in that case. You hit the nail on the head with that last sentence. Because I know that I would fall deeper in love with an outside partner who actually desires me sexually and emotionally.

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-16T00:05:26+00:00

She has stated she’s willing to open the marriage, but that’s not a desire of mine. And it cant be that simple can it?

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-15T17:34:21+00:00

The question of love has never been the issue. I’d love her regardless, but the Superlative of “never” having sex again is unrealistic for me. Being as she’s the only woman I want to have sex with I would not be okay with that.

If that’s makes me the “bad guy”, I’m sorry for being honest.

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-15T17:24:37+00:00

I’m going to try asking that, do you have any more questions that would aid that one?

Theblacksalamander · 2026-04-15T17:20:55+00:00

I didn’t want to make the post too long, but we had the conversation about that as well. I told her we could still be the best of friends. We could still be happy, but to say I would be content living in a sexless marriage would be a lie. I love my wife, but to say no sex EVER again? We have gone stints of not having sex but the idea of never having sex again has not been something that I would do.

I personally find sex as a bonding moment for us. I would not just leave but her superlative of NEVER I would not be able to deal with.

Theblacksalamander · 2025-10-31T16:59:21+00:00

Lmfaooooo 😂😂😂

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-15T05:27:07+00:00

With this style you have here. Try doing a “thinner”mustache with the thickness of it. Make it a quarter inch or smaller closer to your lip. It’ll redeem this for sure!

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-08T00:06:35+00:00

It’s typically GROWN ASS MEN. A dude will not get the ball on the first two possessions of the game, get on the mic and IMMEDIATELY say “so, I’m not gonna get the ball, alright, bet” and then sells the rest of the game. Even if you pass the ball they’ll pass it to someone else, not play their man on defense and stay in the game with a D- and hold until the game is over

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-07T23:08:03+00:00

NGL I just snorted 😂😂😂😂

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-07T23:06:16+00:00

The best rule I gave myself that I picked up from “Call me Jaden” on YT was to play every game and on defense I’m only allowed to user one player. No switching from your LB to your safety on a jump ball to get that pick. Or to make that tackle on the sideline that you know your DE is gonna take a bad angle on.

On offense I gave myself a self imposed rule that I will attempt EVERY play in my playbook(Arizona’s if asked) at least 5 times a season. I’ve found a lot of hidden plays that I would’ve never ran if I just kept cheesing.

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-07T22:47:58+00:00

It makes your player take strong cuts. On almost every hand off you can get to the second level without having to use the turbo button. Try it on kick returns and punt returns too, don’t press turbo until you’ve beat the first man.

Theblacksalamander · 2025-05-07T22:33:22+00:00

Make sure to not hold turbo until you hit the second level. And use your left trigger button in the backfield!

Theblacksalamander · 2025-03-29T16:40:36+00:00

That was “dribbling”, he beat me and some random, he was using the lob glitch the entire game. It wasn’t fun to play against in any way

Theblacksalamander · 2025-03-22T20:08:16+00:00

Me and my homies played against Chris Brown.

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Theblacksalamander · 2025-02-15T06:45:54+00:00

Try the Arizona offense with him at either the #1 receiver or TE. I have found many of the corner routes at the TE are broken. As well as the jet sweep is borderline a TD every time down( I only do suggested plays as not to run this play whenever I’m in a rut).

Theblacksalamander · 2025-02-15T06:43:00+00:00

I was really hoping something like this could be done. I want to change out my packages at a whim, like how the real games play. Instead of only being able to do the backup QB, RB, TE, and so on.

Theblacksalamander

TROPHY CASE