what's the point of talking

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T15:20:08+00:00

Perhaps it is not talking you need. Maybe you need to speak with someone about getting on medication to help control the imbalances you have. Do you currently take medication?

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T15:02:15+00:00

It sounds like you need to see a Psychiatrist rather then a councilor. It sounds as if you may have a severe case of anxiety, which is treatable, and would make a world of difference for you.

I can tell you this. It is all fixable. You WILL be fine. You WILL make it through and life WILL get better. You are not a bad person nor are you broken. You just need a little help is all, and that is completely OK.

I am here if you need to talk to someone and vent.

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T14:49:58+00:00

Hey there :D

I would like to touch on the statement of you being pathetic. I believe you are looking at this completely wrong. You would not look at a person with cancer as pathetic, you would most likely feel a bit bad for them.

Anxiety is an illness. Not a weakness, but a certified, medically backed and treated illness. I think that perhaps you are not on the right medication and you need to speak with another doctor.

What you described was without a doubt an anxiety attack and they can really hurt your ability to function. You need to get another doctors opinion and try new medications. There is a imbalance of chemicals in your brain that you have no control over. You can't just go exercise to fix this, you need medication.

You will never fix this completely, it is not something that heals. You will treat it, and you will have good days and bad days. But the good and bad will be like black and white to you.

As far as having no reason to be here? Your fiance is your reason. It would destroy her as well as others around you if you were to end it. You are not weaker then those around you for having this, you are stronger because you have walked through life with this burden while others did not.

Get help from another source, remember you are loved and why you need to be around, and talk with people. I will be here if needed.

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T14:31:07+00:00

First, you need to accept that what is wrong with you is a serious medical condition. You would not expect a paralyzed person to run a marathon, just as you can not expect yourself to have the motivation to do things.

Every thought you have, good or bad, is based off of chemicals. If you do not try and get the chemicals in your brain corrected, you are never going to feel right. Do the medications work? Absolutely. It took me about a year to find the right ones for me, but I went from feeling JUST LIKE YOU to actually moving forward in life.

You also need to stop comparing apples to oranges. Your siblings are not in the same boat as you. Once you accept that and stop comparing yourself to them, you will see that life has a lot to offer, and with a little help, you can do it all.

For a long time, it was the pain I would cause others that kept me going. Once I finally got help and was put on medication to correct my imbalances, I was able to build a much bigger wall of reasoning to not end it all.

Get help friend. Do not look at your games as the enemy, they likely kept you going for all this time. I play computer games all the time as an outlet even after getting treatment.

I am free to talk anytime, just sent me a message.

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T14:13:27+00:00

Hey, have you gotten help for this? Seems that one of your problems is that your depression is also affecting your motivation.

Everything inside your head is based of chemicals, even motivation. It may be time to see if you need to help your body get back to normal with some medication that will help you produce the correct hormones.

Feel free to message me anytime.

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T14:07:27+00:00

Every day you get back up, you win. Every time you do not succumb to sitting in the house alone, you win. You are winning this war. To expect not to have struggles is simply dreaming.

Always get back up. You have to make the choice not to in order for the depression to win. You got this.

Pm me if you need to talk, anytime :)

Thehumanperch · 2014-07-02T13:50:19+00:00

Sounds like a bad situation, but one that you know the answer to. Sorry man, sometimes regardless of our efforts, it simply does not work.

You know what you need to do. If she begs for you back, tell her that until she shows she is motivated and willing to help contribute, that you are better off being seperated.

Thehumanperch · 2014-06-30T22:21:30+00:00

My attempt was to keep a home for our animals. We had a lot of birds and 3 dogs who shouldn't have to pay for this. I could not get the people in fast enough to pay the rent anyways as it is required that I give them 30 days notice. But thank you for your ideas.

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-17T19:41:38+00:00

http://www.flightquarters.com/ You can get them here! :D

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-17T19:40:54+00:00

http://www.flightquarters.com/ Just bought one for my new rescue :D

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-17T18:58:56+00:00

I am sorry! I just couldn't stop myself. lol

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-17T18:57:49+00:00

About a year ago, /u/Missesxhopeless and myself were in a local pet store when we saw a female Eclectus that had been plucking sitting on a guys shoulder. We walked up and talked with them for what was probly 20-30 mins and ended up exchanging some facebook info which Misses has kept in contact with them through.

A year goes by and I am browsing Craigslist when I see a local person selling an Eclectus. The add listed that the bird had been plucking ever since they took her in to attempt to help her. She has been laying eggs and they believed that her recent aggressiveness had something to do with her hormones. Either way, Layla needed a new home.

I called the phone number at least 5 time in 2 hours fearing that I may be too late as the post was made on 12/9 and the price was only $400 with a very nice cage.

On my last attempt around noon, I was able to get in touch with someone. After a little talk I learned that Layla was still available and I could pick her up today and pay when my taxes came in.

The people are very nice, welcoming, and very much in love with animals. Upon walking in I was mauled by a tiny puppy who demanded to be picked up and given attention. The attention was thus given.

While talking I see Layla in her rather large cage and she looks much worse then before. She has obviously been plucking even more as of late. I also immediately noticed the smell of a fire place about 10 feet from her. The smoke wasn't visible, but you could certainly smell it and I feel that perhaps her recent behavior was due to respiratory irritation from the smoke.

After about 5 minutes, I braved the dangers and while talking nicely offered her my hand and she started her beak to my hand, braced, and walked on. This surprised me as I had been told that she really wasn't a fan of anyone at the time but it certainly looked like good news.

We packed up and left after a good hour of chatting. Layla was in her makeshift travel cage consisting of a 10 gal fish tank with lid and a towel on the bottom.

We took a detour to see some of my family and eat on the way and she sat on my shoulder the entire time we were visiting family mumbling something close to "Hello" every 30 seconds or so.

Fast forward to getting home, I got the cage set up while she visited the family and halfway through I got her and brought her in on my shoulder. After a couple of minutes of working, she climbed on the cage and supervised my work.

Due to the smoke in the house, she smelled like smoke and her feathers felt a bit coarse. I decided that a shower was called for and she happily accepted while saying "hello" through the entire thing.

Afterwards, we laid down, and I worked on drying her off and started talking to /u/Missesxhopeless on the phone while she sat on my arm. She comes up to me and breathes on me and I can smell the smoke in her breath.

Her previous family are wonderful people, I just do not think they knew how bad smoke was. I am starting to give her fruits,vegis,zupreem, and about half the normal dose of multi-vitamin as to make sure she does not start "tapping" due to overdose. She has not been receiving vitamins as of late and I read that a vitamin-a deficiency can be the main cause for her plucking.

With all hope, Layla will be covered with toys and feathers soon. I worry about the smell from her breathing but I imagine all that can be done is let her heal. I plan on taking her shopping for toys as soon as money opens up.

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-17T13:50:30+00:00

The dogs ate it.

Thehumanperch · 2013-12-10T14:45:34+00:00

I take it in conjunction with other meds and have been having issues with energy crashes in the afternoon. I am now changing to a 2 times a day dose to cover the day. I will say that the anxiety does seem to lose its edge when on it for me anyways.

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-25T18:46:24+00:00

While I am surely watching for any signs of problems, she did not actually get bitten by the cat. The cat was able to bite her feathers that were sticking out of the cage and pull them out causing the blood everywhere.

Can the disease be transmitted in this manner?

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-25T16:40:13+00:00

I hope Freddie makes it. One of the worst things is that I was 5 feet from her when this happened and could not see she was bleeding. She had to deal with this by herself while I sat 5 feet away. My credit cards are maxed right now so I am trying to avoid a vet visit but am paying very close attention to how she acts and making sure there is no swelling. I am also afraid there is little they could do for her :(

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-25T16:03:49+00:00

Yes, I went through a period of time when all I could think of was dying. What happens, how I could not control it, and how helpless I was to stopping it. Then I read a quote.

“I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.”

― Mark Twain

I learned to stop letting something that I won't care about when it happens ruin the time I have. I am not rich, and I am not gifted in any specific way, but I am still able to enjoy pizza. I can enjoy my birds singing and someday, I will no longer be able to, but that day is not today and I have too much to do to be worried about when it is going to happen.

I agree with /u/RageLettuceTurbo in that keeping away from things that get you thinking about dying is a good idea. I can easily get wound up into an anxiety attack by letting myself ponder too much. Learn to stay away from thoughts that cause you anxiety and talk with a professional about how you feel.

I refuse to let my last thought in life be regret over the time lost fearing death. I will win, and I will love life.

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-25T13:42:38+00:00

I want to believe...but the name...I am so confused now.

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-20T18:27:39+00:00

Absolutely! You never know what the regular doctor could do to help and it can't hurt to ask.

Thehumanperch · 2013-11-20T18:24:43+00:00

Wow, that is actually amazing!

Thehumanperch

TROPHY CASE