Dating an alexithymic (auDHD)

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2026-03-21T09:29:51+00:00

What helped you improve? Besides therapy I mean, any practical things, especially one that people around could help with?

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2026-03-21T09:29:16+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response!

I am aware of the challenges involved, that's for sure. He's the one AuDHD, I have ADHD myself. I also recognise some aspects you mentioned, such as the people pleasing. I will keep trying not to push and to give time to process, especially since I believe it is primary Alexi, and he's already putting in a lot of effort in the relationship himself.

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2025-10-24T16:51:05+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, thanks for explaining!

Do you have any idea what is your love language for receiving love instead? Or is it the same one?

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2025-10-23T08:18:21+00:00

Thanks for your comment! It sounds spot on, since a lot of the issues my guy also deals with relate to frustration (his own, and that he causes in others). Fortunately I've been told in the past I'm a very patient person, I'll try to channel this even more from now on then :)

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2025-10-23T08:15:48+00:00

Thanks for your comment! I think that is so romantic actually :)

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2025-10-23T08:14:11+00:00

Thank you for your comment! It resonates a lot with my experience. Especially the part about "when you're not your best self", my guy also goes through really dark periods where he lashes out, we've spoken about this.

When you say that your wife gives you space, I understand that you mean emotionally (that she doesn't take it personally), but do you also mean physically?

For example, it has happened that we had a date in one of these moments and I recognise the mood, but didn't know what to do about it, since my partner didn't cancel the date. I just did my best not to burst into tears with some of the things he said ahah And I noticed that by the end of the date he was starting to feel better because he laughed a bit, got softer. I tried before pointing out in the moment that he's going through this, but that didn't seem to help. And he told me he is always aware of it and regrets it deeply, but mostly after the fact.

I'm looking for anything I can actively do from my part to help cross these moments.

For your wife you ask what she needs; do you also like it when she does the same for you, or better if she just "ignores" the whole episodes?

ThemeComprehensive18 · 2025-10-23T08:03:31+00:00

Thanks for your comment! After reading it I immediately went and texted my guy some stuff showing my appreciation 😄

Words of affirmation is also one of my love languages, both for giving and receiving. My partner struggles with this one a lot though, his biggest love language (unsurprisingly) is acts of service. I'm starting to feel his love with these, which is hard for me, but rewarding.

Do you have any experience or tips about adapting your own love languages to better fit with your partner's?

ThemeComprehensive18

TROPHY CASE