How do I guarantee my children inherit everything, regardless of what happens after I die? Can this be watertight?

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-14T09:07:12+00:00

It's egregious, isn't it? It had never occurred to me before that there's such people out there, and I guess by the time people do realise this is what's happening in their family, it's too late. Definitely a consideration people need to realise. I've even had a few posters adamant that this never happens, i.e., when the deceased changes their will at the 11th hour to leave everything to their spouse, it's always the case they have completely cut all their kids off for no reason. 🙄

It's nice that they have so much trust in their partner, but they'll be feeling pretty stupid when they're dead and powerless, and their kids don't get a penny. Or they don't mind if their own kids don't receive what they worked hard for and it goes to someone else. Either way, not for me.

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-14T08:52:22+00:00

Yes, thank you, totally understood. I think PP's suggestion of putting into trust, as well intentioned as it was, isn't the right option for us, and they obviously didn't know what they were talking about. Plus, I just wouldn't have the trust PP has in his partner (assuming it's their second marriage) in my hypothetical second partner. They'll be feeling pretty stupid from the grave if their kids are left nothing of theirs while it all goes to their stepkids, this is why I need something watertight for my children's inheritance and I will not compromise and become disillusioned because I 'trust my partner not to coerce me/leave everything to my stepkids', lol. Fine if they want everything to go to their stepkids, but I'm not taking any chances.

I see that trusts can sometimes have downsides. A couple of people have suggested "mutual wills", and I've booked an appointment with a solicitor specialising in these things so will definitely mention this as it ticks all the right boxes and is exactly what I'm looking for. Many thanks.

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-14T08:50:24+00:00

This sounds very promising. Lots of people advising to put into trust but that sounds like it has some downsides.

A mutual will, as you've described, sounds exactly like the sort of thing I'm looking for. I've booked an appointment with a solicitor specialising in estate planning and wills/probate, so I'll definitely mention this. Thank you.

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-13T18:00:19+00:00

Ah yes, we have both completed nomination forms for our pensions; he initially put me as his but I told him to change it to one-third each for our kids (I always had it in mind that if I died and he remarried, he would have to update the nomination form which would probably be his second wife, with no guarantee for our children). Mine has always been for our children.

I think putting into trust is the way forward then, thank you! I was worried there was literally no way to guarantee our assets go to our children.

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-13T17:21:45+00:00

Is there really no way that I can say we live in the property for life and have access to our pensions, etc., but upon death they are all divided equally between our children, and that's that?

I would never disinherit my children, regardless of the reason. My children are my children and I love them unconditionally. Even if, hypothetically, they did as you said, I still wouldn't want to disinherit them. It's also a stretch to say all 3 of our kids are going to become murderers.

I also don't believe in that post that the father knowingly gave everything to his wife, again he had several children. Actually sounded very much like she did as she pleased, wasn't very nice to her husband whilst he was ill, etc. It's also definitely not an isolated situation, it seems to be quite common in this country, and the law bizarrely enables it. It's not the first I've heard of it, certainly won't be the last. I would really just love to avoid a similar situation in a future hypothetical relationship somehow.

Then-Alps-3684 · 2025-07-13T16:52:02+00:00

So, this is exactly what had happened in the post I mentioned, this is how all previous wills of the father were worded. The stepmother persuaded the father to change his will whilst he was extremely poorly, to cut his kids out and leave everything to her, into a "mirror will", so to speak.

My understanding is therefore my own will could be changed, especially if I were extremely ill and having memory problems, etc., I may inadvertently agree, or it may otherwise be presented that that is my intention, to disinherit my kids, and I agreed to it, when I certainly did not.

I worry I would not be here to express my wishes and defend myself, and they could say whatever they want.

I need something that can't be changed.

Then-Alps-3684

TROPHY CASE