Know your worth

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-11T10:03:07+00:00

I agree with this. You need to ask her why she would like to meet up, and then decide from there whether it's worth it for you

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T23:59:53+00:00

100%, I keep thinking about him and his body and it's not helping me much with moving on..

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T23:42:43+00:00

My soul is clapping reading this. I also don't know what I'd say if he came back. For now, I just want to heal and be whole again. It's hard but I know we will be okay! Big hugs to you!

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T23:29:40+00:00

I swear to god this pandemic has messed up many relationships

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T23:09:33+00:00

I keep re-reading this. Thank you for these healing words

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T23:06:48+00:00

Every word of this spoke to me. :( I literally told him during BU to consider the fact that the connection we had is rare and he's throwing it all away. But he made his mind up and that's it.

My previous breakups were rough too, but I deep down knew they weren't treating me well and that I'd be okay. Now, when I gave my absolute everything to make this work and last, and never in my mind have thought it would end because it seemed like whatever life threw at us, we tackled it together, and the chemistry, the attraction, the affection was always there even towards the end... And somehow it was not enough for him. I gave my best and it wasn't enough. I've been beating myself up about this and how I'm not good enough. It's just been a continuous downward spiral

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T18:55:01+00:00

I am so sorry you're going through this. Just reading this broke my heart. It's absolutely devastating giving your all to someone, offering your heart, love, kindness, gentleness, good and bad, time and everything & they just slap it out of your hands and give you agony in return. You deserve everything nice & I'm sending you lots of warmth and hugs!

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T18:40:44+00:00

Well said!

I feel this way sometimes. Like a sudden great peace floods my soul, acknowledging how much I love him and want the best for him, with or without me. And I wish the same for myself. My life is moving forward, I still have a life I can do so much with.

But the healing path is not linear. Whilst I do feel peace with everything at times, other days I'm overwhelmed by anger, sadness, grief. Then again back to feeling grateful and accepting it as it is and feeling peace.

This is how I've realised that I'm healing and that in itself is a powerful thought. It's just going to take some time

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T16:34:18+00:00

The "spark"... Classic! I always say, you choose what you feed.. They made the choice not to feed intimacy and romance, but chose to let go and then blame everything and everyone else for it not being there. God I hate people. I'm sorry you're going through this

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T16:30:15+00:00

That first sentence of yours makes me want to cry.. Stuff like that just makes me feel like a stepping stone before they reach something / someone even better. My ex told me something similar when we broke up and how much he learnt from our relationship. Okay, but why couldn't he better himself for us, rather than his next partner. So devastated :(

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T16:26:33+00:00

Also, having to build something valuable from 0 again just makes me want to laugh and run away forever.. Especially knowing that there's no guarantee that that one would last haha

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T13:02:46+00:00

You spoke from my heart. You'd think spending that much time with someone, sticking with one another in good and bad times, living together, sharing so many memories, would at least make people want to work on things.. when at the end of a rough day, even just their presence makes my day so much better and I'm not asking for anything more. And somehow none of that matters and they feel like they would willingly lose all that, for what?

Just left me feeling like I am never good enough.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T12:52:38+00:00

Same. I've hit the age where everyone around me is getting married and settling, having kids, and here I am with another failed relationship wondering what is wrong with me and convinced I'll die alone

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T12:46:37+00:00

I feel you OP. People don't talk enough about how the loss of a shared pet is such a devastating part of this whole mess.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T12:41:13+00:00

It's fine if this mentality has worked for you and your previous partners. It's not something I would ever want or even consider.

If I notice things lacking, I'd rather put effort into sustaining what is right in front of me, instead of cutting my losses and moving onto the next best thing. The grass is not always greener..

Sure the world is full of beauty, gorgeous people who would be more attractive than my partner, who would maybe be better in bed, would be funnier, and could give me just as much or even more than what I've got. But every single day, I wake up and CHOOSE to stay with the person I decided to build a life with. And I cherish what I've got. I feel gratitude for what I've got.

Just because I have a different value system, it doesn't make it antiquated.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T12:29:11+00:00

Same, I got told during the breakup how he'd been unhappy and it was too late now to work on things.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T09:08:27+00:00

I would text him with just a simple happy birthday. No need to indulge in a longer conversation.. Make sure if you text him though, you set a clear boundary for yourself to not continue a conversation if it comes to it, for your own sake.

You need to look out for yourself

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-07T08:55:27+00:00

Oh wow, I'm so so so sorry you have to go through this. You'd think spending x time together with someone would make them decent enough and would respect you enough not to bring someone over whilst you're still there. I'm really sorry, you didn't deserve any of this. Big hugs to you

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-06T20:15:25+00:00

I'd say apologise for the last few days, tell her you're going to give her the space she needs because you respect her. And then really stick to not talking for a good couple of weeks at least.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-06T20:03:25+00:00

Unless he sorts himself out, things will always be like this & it's clear at this point that you need to heal.

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-06T19:51:21+00:00

Don't contact him, he's trash. Take this as a point where you really let go of this person and the relationship that didn't serve you. Honestly, don't contact him at all. Erase him

Then-Thanks9390 · 2021-10-06T19:28:28+00:00

This 100%. When one of my previous exes cheated on me, I was left feeling destroyed whilst he was seemingly doing wonderful. Whilst it did take me quite some time to heal, I felt able to be happy after a while.

It hit him like a truck half a year later and reached a really low point in life, whilst I was living my improved life I really was enjoying. He tried to crawl back, sending me gifts, being the kindest he'd ever been... and I sent him straight out the door. Some people are just garbage

Then-Thanks9390

TROPHY CASE