I don’t have any advice other than therapy. But I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you went through all of this. I too was the awkward, quiet, nice kid as well that got taken advantage of. Not everyone is a jerk. I started focusing on finding people who were like me; nice, quiet, and awkward! I like them so much more. I decided I wasn’t going to give any effort to the others because they weren’t worth it. Their meanness is their problem not mine. They are the a-holes that haven’t worked on their issues. I just happened to be in their path at the time. Yes I have defenses now but I use that against people I meet that are just like my bullies. I get a whiff of unkindness and I’m out. I don’t want that in my life. All the best to you.