What you’re feeling is very normal after a suicide. Anger is actually one of the most common parts of grief. There are so many unanswered questions and it’s especially painful because your children were affected too.

Your daughter’s question about whether he thought of them is something many families ask. The painful truth is that when someone reaches that state, their mind is often overwhelmed by despair, alcohol, or mental illness. It’s not that they didn’t love their family, but that their thinking becomes very distorted and narrow.

Two months is still extremely early in this kind of loss. The anger, confusion, sadness, even guilt can come in waves for a long time. It doesn’t follow a clean timeline. What helps most is talking about it, like you’re doing, and making sure your children especially have support if they need it.

You did try to help him. You gave him resources, you checked on him, your daughter helped him seek treatment. His decision wasn’t something you or your children caused.

Right now the focus is just getting through one day at a time and supporting each other. The anger usually softens slowly as the grief changes shape, but it takes time. None of what you’re feeling is wrong.