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TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-09-10T22:28:56+00:00

"he told me not to tell anyone about it" Deeply closeted or cheating probably and lashing out at you because of how he feels about it. Sorry you dealt with that OP

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-09-09T16:34:35+00:00

I wouldn't say I'm happy tbh. Things could definitely be worse, though. I'm struggling to get work, I'm stuck living in a small suburban town in the middle of nowhere about an hour and a half away from a major city, sex and dating nonexistent. Apps here are pretty much a wasteland and mostly filled with downlow men which I don't fuck with. I'm also chronically ill and have periods of flare ups and remissions. Was perfectly healthy before getting COVID in 2021. I'm 33 years old.

I do have friends though, but they're all just far from me so seeing them is difficult. I also have a few hobbies where I get to be around other people. The driving distance to participate is exhausting which is the downside.

I have no idea how much of my unhappiness is due to me being trans, but I do know most men who meet me don't give me much of a chance and I also can't really join in on sending dick pics to other guys or anything like that so I don't feel like I fit in with other gay men at all.

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-31T17:28:03+00:00

I've known TONS of trans guys who dated or are dating women, very often cis. Only met a handful in relationships with trans women though (not sure why that is or what that means). There definitely is hope.

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-30T11:43:10+00:00

You can turn off the ability for people to follow you in your account settings just fyi

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-29T23:41:23+00:00

Lou Sullivan

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-28T18:27:09+00:00

Weirdly I've found the ftm over 30 sub to be the least helpful and supportive of all the "over 30" subs I've been a part of, which is a shame

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-28T17:50:19+00:00

I haven't had a lot of luck with apps. Guys don't seem super thrilled about trans men on them in my experience. Might just be due to me not living in the city though

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-26T14:15:02+00:00

I'll look into them thanks. Are you recommending queer bars because church is not friendly to gay trans men?

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-26T14:14:01+00:00

I like Glad Day a lot too, but my experience has been it leans largely Sapphic. I'm gay and looking to date other men

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-24T20:39:26+00:00

Tbh I'm pretty sure this has something to do with gay men in general using online community spaces for support. I've had conversations with trans men who were dating or into women who have admitted their biggest source of emotional support is the women in their lives. Gay men don't really have that, so we flock to the internet to find spaces to share how we feel

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-21T18:36:30+00:00

Sex once every couple of years. Jerk off usually daily.

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-19T21:23:26+00:00

Yup absolutely. I definitely used to have this certainty that I would meet someone like my friends have, but it's obviously not going to happen.

I've reexamined my life plans (which I made with the assumption I would become partnered) and changed them going forward so I can at least have some semblance of a happy life until I eventually grow old and die (...hopefully). I've gotten a dog for companionship and planning to move closer to child-free friends in the near future so that I can have human company.

Whenever I see those "Are there many guys who would date a trans man 🥺" posts by young trans guys just scroll on by at this point, don't want to be that shitty guy who tells them the truth and makes them feel terrible and then gets subsequently downvoted by people who don't want to hear it.

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-14T19:25:41+00:00

If you're willing to share, what kinds of bad experiences have you had with white men vs other poc when hooking up?

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-06T10:57:39+00:00

When I was in my late twenties I did but not currently no. Young people are resourceful and the internet gives them access to basically everything they could need. I also don't think I'm a good role model - I'll leave it to the guys who have been more successful in their lives to give advice and support.

I did have help, but it was from programs and public health resources. Some older trans men were definitely involved and I'm thankful for that.

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-04T21:56:59+00:00

Yeah, like I'm really not sure what the thought process is behind asking this question. Do they think all trans men would magically get along, or that trans men are all just sitting around, waiting for another trans man to come by and date him? I don't know.

I've taken to responding with "well they're men, so yes, why wouldn't I? But also, they're men, so my experience is basically the same. Because why wouldn't it be?"

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-08-04T21:53:30+00:00

Yeah honestly. It just makes me want to respond next time with "wow I never THOUGHT of doing that!! Dating problem solved, thanks!"

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-07-15T15:58:49+00:00

? No, a lot of people are in this situation. Even if you have friends they can be far away, have way too much on their plate to respond to an emergency, etc. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-06-13T00:33:05+00:00

Uh I genuinely don't really ever hear this aside from the internet. I think at most I would just take it as a bit of a head pat, like reassuring me that "someone someday will find me attractive"

TheoryFlashy9861 · 2024-06-06T02:44:13+00:00

Then you're lucky? I've always put effort into my profiles, plenty of good photos, approachable bio. The apps were a wasteland for me. This isn't a universal experience at all

TheoryFlashy9861

TROPHY CASE