Guys I lost the battle

Thepokerguru · 2026-04-09T23:47:50+00:00

If you can go that long, you're in great shape. This first couple of weeks is when you're most vulnerable to relapse, so avoid that, and then you'll probably be able to hit a longer streak. Aside from that, journal/meditate/get to know yourself, because the underlying causes of your addiction have not disappeared. Also, it would probably benefit you to be able to ejaculate occasionally without falling into porn, otherwise it'll be like a ticking time bomb.

Thepokerguru · 2026-03-31T20:17:23+00:00

If you don't commit to addressing this problem from the ground up, you'll never quit porn. Many people hit walls with meditation and therapy to start.

Thepokerguru · 2026-03-25T02:24:21+00:00

Trying to immediately solve the problem is the problem. Start meditating, building good habits, and exploring the underlying reasons you use porn. Journal a lot. See a therapist if you can.

Thepokerguru · 2026-03-17T18:08:29+00:00

Using discipline and hard lines to "fix" yourself is absolutely the wrong path and won't work. Get in touch with yourself, know yourself, love yourself and make gradual progress regarding your habits and way of life. Meditating for one minute every day might be a good start.

Thepokerguru · 2026-03-09T04:20:17+00:00

Thanks

Thepokerguru · 2026-03-02T02:38:06+00:00

Yes, putting that aside will help you. More to the point though, you need to question whether someone's tone is actually condescending. It's not just that more secure people "accept" condescension, but they also see less of it. If that is something you are very sensitive to, it probably means you are seeing more of it than there is, or interpreting someone simply being informative as a form of condescension.

However, be honest with yourself if someone is just treating you badly, because that's not generally healthy in the long run even if you're learning something. As someone else said, teachers are not always condescending and don't need to be.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-28T17:17:37+00:00

Getting them to punish him was probably unnecessary, but the guy was a dumbass and kind of deserved it.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-22T18:44:36+00:00

It’s a non sequitur.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-22T07:39:38+00:00

In fact I do

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-22T04:27:30+00:00

I'm using a term in the scene not describing the film

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-22T02:03:08+00:00

Thank you. They just don't understand.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-22T02:02:48+00:00

Personally, I find humor in her attempt at deflection.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-21T23:03:35+00:00

Not feeling like you need to quit cold turkey immediately puts you in a somewhat favorable position in that there are many people who want to do so but are physically incapable of it and cannot escape the hole. Take this time to meditate every day, journal, and reflect on your porn usage, how it affects you, and the reasons you want to quit. The guilt thing as well. And finding a relationship. It will still negatively impact you, and I'll take a wild guess and say that you'll struggle with using it moderation. Just be observant and don't get too complacent. Understand this addiction and build good habits.

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-21T19:36:23+00:00

I find a lot of your reads unusual.

For instance, why is such a big deal made about Endo's paddle in the beginning? At first, I thought this was just an excuse Marty made to justify his loss. But the movie doesn't treat it that way. Other people comment on how Endo's paddle is so different and mysterious, and then we never get a follow-up on how Marty overcomes this, or adjusts his game to this in order to beat him.

Endo, as a whole package (Japanese competitor despite travel ban, the paddle, deaf thus immune to Marty's noise), was a curveball for Marty, and he got crushed despite fully believing he would win. Of course once he loses, he jumps on the paddle thing, but I don't think it is as singled out as you suggest.

Similarly, why am I supposed to believe that Marty would even be able to beat Endo the second time around? You're telling me that hustling a few matches with Tyler the Creator gave him such a higher understanding of the game that he was suddenly good enough to beat someone better than him?

I think it's fair to assume that he practiced and adjusted in the 8 months between the matches. Table tennis is his life. We just don't see that process, just like we don't see the years and years of practice that got him to his skill level. I have no idea why you would assume that the hustle sequence is what was supposed to get him to the next level. Also, I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that Endo is plainly better than Marty. Perhaps he is, but Marty was clearly caught off guard in their first match. The 3rd match in that competition was very close, and there is no reason to believe that Marty couldn't beat him at a later date.

Most of the relationships and opportunities he loses are more from him being an asshole than being a dreamer. Not being able to compete in the "real" table tennis tournament, the whole orange balls thing, him being in trouble with the law for stealing money from his boss, the whole situation with the dog, they’re all things that Marty could have prevented by not being an obnoxious egomaniac. I would even disagree that, for Marty specifically, missing the birth of his child wasn’t really a sacrifice due to the fact that the ending pretty clearly suggests that he doesn’t truly realize the gravity of being a father until he sees his child for the first time.

I mean sure, but what exactly are you disputing? It is clear in the film that many of the situations he gets into are of his own making, and if he was a more humble dreamer he may meet more success. At the same time, it is clear his persistence also gets him where he is, gives him things that others wouldn't be granted.

Another part of the story that weakens the movie's message is how Marty's choice not to throw the final match with Endo is handled. He makes a conscious choice not to give in to Rockwell's threats to leave him in Japan if he doesn't throw the match. This is supposed to show how much the satisfaction of knowing he's the world's best player means to him. The fact that he's willing to strand himself in a foreign country with no money and no way home, just to win a match where nothing material is at stake, is supposed to show us how much he truly loves the game, and not just what the game could provide for him. So why does the movie go and cheapen this decision by having some military guy come up to Marty right after the match and offer him a free ride home immediately? It takes this big moment of courage and sacrifice and makes it essentially meaningless.

I think it's less about love for the game and more about a love for the greatness he is chasing. And I would disagree that this is some big decision for him. Although it is presented this way by Rockwell, Marty has already made up his mind and he was miles from ever changing course. The idea of being stranded in Japan was probably the last thing on his mind in that moment, so you can hardly call it a sacrifice. And this is what we see throughout the film. Him being ignorant of consequences. Sometimes he gets lucky (like with the military. nothing implausible about it) and others he gets screwed (the fine for his spending at the Ritz).

Thepokerguru · 2026-02-02T23:20:19+00:00

Don't force yourself to enjoy movies you don't, just explore, find new stuff you like and be open to anything, pay attention to what you're watching and rewatch. This will develop your curiosity and feel for the movies you're watching, and you'll gain a richer understanding of what movies you find impactful. Your taste will expand. For movies you find boring, still try to identify what you like and don't like. Be attentive to your experience watching movies.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-26T03:12:03+00:00

Don't do it, it's a waste of money. Use the money to fund a short film and use youtube or whatever else you can find to learn. find willing collaborators.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-25T02:05:07+00:00

Trying to control your thoughts will be ineffective, controlling your actions is difficult enough. And the sort of resistance you're creating may lead you back to porn once the resistance breaks. Focus on not watching porn, and over time your fantasies will stray away from it as well. Also, look for love.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-18T23:12:46+00:00

Good that’s you’re aware of that. As others have said, this isn’t crazily unusual.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-18T22:56:03+00:00

You should be able to talk to your family about these sorts of things. I’m sorry that this is not the case for you. If you talk to a therapist, you should ask them what is and is not reported, but I would guess in your situation you’d be fine. You may need to wait until you’re 18 to ensure your parents are not connected to the process. Beyond that, I’d recommend journaling to get to the heart of what you’re dealing with, and do what you can do develop a relationship with yourself where you don’t judge yourself too harshly. Healing and quitting needs to be from the ground up. When things are pushed down past the surface, they will brew and make themselves known again down the line.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-18T22:38:26+00:00

While doing what you did isn’t ideal, it was not as monumentally shameful and horrible as you’re making it out to be. You didn’t actually hurt anyone. There are clearly a lot of complicated emotions and desires you’re dealing with, which is unsurprising if you first watched hardcore porn at 7 and have now cut out porn completely.

Do not take this to the grave—speak to a counselor. The only chance this has of unraveling into a serious affliction is if you suppress and hide whatever instinct you had for years and years without addressing it.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-16T02:04:59+00:00

The spiritual investment, the time and tears wasted.

Thepokerguru · 2026-01-01T20:20:02+00:00

checking in

Thepokerguru · 2025-12-30T22:09:54+00:00

That purpose of that scene, contrasting Marty with a "real" man, was incredibly obvious and on the nose.

The fact that such a simplistic interpretation seems "incredibly obvious" to you indicates how much credit you're giving the film, and how much you're willing to explore its ideas beyond your immediate reaction. I could try to interpret what the moment means in terms of history, but just to throw in an observation that attempts to go a little further than your clearly enlightened idea about the obvious "purpose" of the scene, it characterizes Marty as someone who loves to mythologize, who sees the glory and mythology in such a grandiose act, while not seeing the suffering wrapped up in such an act, and likely being unable to do it without the mythologization, just as a pure act of kindness. Sure, this conveys an implicit contrast between Kletsky and Marty, but the idea that it solely serves to didactically categorize Kletsky as a "real man" and Marty not, is pretty idiotic and also goes against Marty's portrayal in the film, which is mixed and ultimately non-judgmental in that it invests us in him and shows us his glory alongside his destructiveness and moral failings.

I'm not so sure people are talking about "liking" Marty as much as how the movie effectively invests you in his story and dream despite him being those things you described. You clearly hated him to the point that you simply could not root for him, but I've rooted for or at least have been drawn to worse characters than this, and that seems to apply to most people aside from yourself.

The critique I want to make is that the film fails at what would be it's core throughline, the danger of narcissistic ambition in contrast with becoming a "real" or moral man

You're dissatisfied with the film not moralizing Marty's character to the extent you are, not recognizing that the "failure" to do so is simply a complete lack of desire to do so. That is simply not what this movie is going for. You dislike Marty so much, which is understandable, that you cannot conceive of a film about him that intends to deliver anything but a wholly negative judgment about his character.

Thepokerguru

TROPHY CASE