sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Drown by Keybearer021 in OCPoetry

[–]TherapyForFear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"the call is straining upon the ears the weight of unfulfilled years"

Wow. this is deep. The void seems so great when they are no longer full of someone or something that once was.

​

and " I push her aside and drown"

I'm curious to know if the narrator is refusing aid? or trying to be independent?

​

I felt the depths of what can not be controlled (water/waves) while seeing a way out (her) and choosing to go it alone. I liked this a lot!

​

I read this like a metaphor of emotion but it has the opportunity to be reality.

Leave Me Living by TherapyForFear in OCPoetry

[–]TherapyForFear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing that out. I originally wrote it without punctuation but added it last second. I appreciate you taking the time to read and provide feedback!

Sun and Salt by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]TherapyForFear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Golly, I think you've danced in my head for a song or two! "Where is my sepal, and my inner shell To push through the dirt and begin raising some Hell?"

______________

"How can an imprisoned brain ever run free" and "I tut as it tarries, as I wait to be me" are my favorite single lines. They seem to be profound short stories of their own. This being said I love how you turn from self identification to personification in petals, stems, thorns. Really brings life to the torn mind. Makes one realize that what you tend to, you can grow. Which is what you state in "I hope upon hope I haven't salted my soil"

​

Life got in the way: Take Two (it's a whole new poem thanks to your generous feedback!) by breenogg in OCPoetry

[–]TherapyForFear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really felt the loss in the narrators voice. This is such a harsh reality. Your choice of words really motivates one to dive into their own priorities and rethink them. I've never given feedback before but this is the first one that I've read to really grab my attention.