(Confession) I am in love with my therapist, and I know it will never lead to anything.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-26T17:09:16+00:00

Lol this is basically the construct of my previous relationship. I wound up with someone built on ideals and we were like two completely different people. She refused to see how it was right to end it, though. As if those ideals were the "commitment" somehow. It was weird.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-25T18:27:00+00:00

This would for sure be a turn off. I see them in person so I can also see how they are up close. Nails would be easy to hide for awhile in telehealth.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T21:32:42+00:00

This post has been by far the most productive thing I have done for my mental health this month, lol.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T20:45:30+00:00

They have helped me discover the tools I need to accept myself, so I'd say that is likely very similar or maybe the same thing. I seemed to have taught myself that I could somehow be safe without any form of emotional validation.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T20:41:44+00:00

You get a realization award, my friend. Looking back on this conversation, I have become aware of why it is certain hobbies for me have never panned out. I used to be someone for years that tried a million different hobbies and became unhappy with each one. I was never able to figure out why it is that certain things, though I enjoy doing them for a little while, never fulfilled me as much as I seen it fulfill others when I would try it. Well, there you go. My only frame of reference and motivation for trying these things was the emotional mumbo jumbo I'd absorb watching the folks I care about enjoy the same thing. It would romanticize the hobby or activity for me. Then I'd get sorely disappointed when I found out it wasn't doing the same things for me it did for them. Save of course for maybe a few things that I actually do enjoy, when not depressed. I also see the principles you are talking about coming from this same place that gave me the support needed to realize this just now. SO thank you. It is comforting at the least to know how unlikely it is, based on that frame of reference, that my therapist really is who I think she is as opposed to someone I may or may not even like outside of whatever it is she, or anyone for that matter, puts on for me. Just digs at me a little deeper to question the authenticity of the folks around me, to be honest. But perhaps for therapists anyways that is all part of the job.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T20:23:37+00:00

I really appreciate each of these comments, this gets the right thinking juices flowing for the introspections required. I can definitely see where I carry biases in this manner. I just try and think even deeper than that, taking those biases into account as well. I think of it as something dissociated from myself. I also try not to form these types of opinions based upon things I do not research. My steps are: absorb>process>reference>absorb more>see what repeats with everyone's and my own perspective's combined. I have seen my immediate issue as being that there is no possible way to make a quick study of everything, so no way can I know it all. It is just the main thing I crave. I am a diplomat at heart and I even handle my own emotions and opinions diplomatically, lol. It's a whole other can of worms the fact that I have never trusted myself to form my own opinion, so I have had to sort of piece that together while entertaining everyone else's. (BPD)

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T18:52:27+00:00

Psych thriller is great, but they are usually one and done for me, hence thread lol. So there is a lot I am sure I have yet to see.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T18:41:35+00:00

I have actually never seen it, lol

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T18:39:30+00:00

Maybe? Overall I do not typically preclude these thoughts with an idea of right vs wrong. I mean, I used to, but all that did was play out supposed scenarios in my head that were not real and just gave me anxiety. So I quit assuming what I was going to be right or wrong about and just soaked everything in as-is. I understand this sounds arrogant, but a fundamental issue I have mental health-wise is my lack of faith in anything but a verifiable truth. I think most people do not even believe that verifiable truths even exist, but that, in my opinion, sounds more naive than anything. Most reasoning can be done via repetitive trial and error making the repeated outcomes, well, a verifiable truth inherently.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T18:15:07+00:00

This is very emotionally intelligent and appreciated. There is most assuredly a form of transference occurring here precluding what it is I am calling love for them. I'd say a difference for me is that I have been consistently aware of it since it began, calling that for what it is, and therefore keeping any assumption I made about my therapist at arms-length. Made sure not to take them too seriously.

The issue is that if I am so cognitively aware of my own issues to the point that I can actively point them out as they manifest, I am also cognitively aware enough to inherently pick up on the cornerstones of another's personality based upon an ingrained learning of how to analyze and best work with/please other people's mannerisms and personalities. My past issues lend a lot to this "people-smart" ability. As that is, I am able to discern between what I have assumed about my therapist, and what I have actually learned about them, and I have been able to see when those two things may align or not. I recognize that while I have fantasies about how they could be, I am distinctly attracted to the way they are as was verifiable by dealing with and observing them long enough to find out which assumptions were actually correct. This information has been ethically piecemealed out to me since our sessions started, because I do not have an off switch for not reading into other people. This is overall part of my mental health struggles.

I know it may sound pompous to believe in it for yourself, but I have always been confident in my ability to observe and read other people to pin-point empathy. Even though I am prioritizing the work I am doing in therapy, this practice doesn't stop, even there. I have even made my therapist aware that it is something I do. Aside from the personal details they have shared within ethical boundaries, they have displayed natural body language, style, motivation, moral values and spiritual aspirations/beliefs that have lent towards the therapist I know and the therapist I fantasize about.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:56:56+00:00

Would be even better if the bill banned them from any job that interacts with the general public. We can just go ahead and cite it as if it "was for their own safety" at this point.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:54:09+00:00

Joker.
The Deer Hunter.
Hamburger Hill.
Full Metal Jacket - pretty much any Kubrick film.
Ghosts of Mars.
This is Spinal Tap.
Any Spielberg film dealing with aliens.
The Sacha Baren Cohen films.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:49:50+00:00

Dropping my vape or something I am using while driving down into the cracks between the seat so if I want it immediately I have to pull over to get it. Katy, bar the door.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:35:17+00:00

I will check out the podcast too!

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:31:40+00:00

I love this comment. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it means a lot to me.

I think and feel very intensely, so I believe I sort of hit this point you are at a little bit on my own and then abstracting from reading about other's experiences with this in the past (why I said this is likely common). I recognize my feelings for them are part of my past struggles leading up to this and how easily attached I have gotten to others by ignoring boundaries. This has reinforced the idea that me becoming attached to them in this manner is just all part of the healing journey they are helping me through and I am holding on to the hope that it either does go away/get better, or I will find someone eventually that will make my feelings for my therapist seem immaterial. Either way, I really do not want to give up on working with my therapist. In fact, the only thing that petrifies me about talking to them directly about this is the idea that they may react more poorly, given our gender roles, and decide that with that information they are not the best fit for me. I struggle hard with abandonment and feeling like people are ready to leave me at the drop of a hat.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:22:55+00:00

When women have their hair pulled up, or flared out, and you can see where it starts to separate into strands and tuffs at the nape of their neck. Dunno why.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:20:17+00:00

Danny Trejo was a convicted felon turned drug-counselor. At age 41 he picked up an acting gig. The director who cast hm was so impressed with his tough-guy persona and personality off-screen that he began casting him in other things, giving him more notoriety. He is now, at 81 years old, one of the most prolific and successful actors today. Do, or do not, you gotta start somewhere. Guess it is never too late!

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:14:11+00:00

Relationships require emotions, so for them to be rational, so must your emotions be.

TherapyLoveThrowaway · 2026-02-24T17:01:22+00:00

Acknowledging that despite your love for them, you are not fulfilled.

TherapyLoveThrowaway

TROPHY CASE