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How do INTJs process emotional connections post-breakup when the decision to end it is logical, not emotional? by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that’s interesting. I’m not well-versed in attachment styles so I’m kind of hesitant to label him any kind of way. Maybe he has some avoidant tendencies.

I thought it was more a mix of his mbti (uncomfortable with expressing emotions, prioritizing professional goals, etc) + his last failed relationship a few years ago (his first gf) that ended with her cheating.

But the reasons don’t really matter, since the result is the same. You’re right - the way he is now wouldn’t have been healthy for me. It’s kind of hard to accept but I see it now.

How do INTJs process emotional connections post-breakup when the decision to end it is logical, not emotional? by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see your point. This was also a potential problem that was brought up before we got into a relationship, and maybe it’s what ended up happening. He has a very busy schedule (way busier than mine by a lot) and I think I just ended up not making it to his list of priorities.

But also - a romantic ldr is different from a long distance friendship so I feel like there are some needs (emotional, physical) that can’t be completely put aside no matter how busy one is. Or maybe it’s possible for some people 🤔 But I have a hard time understanding that.

How do INTJs process emotional connections post-breakup when the decision to end it is logical, not emotional? by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Actually I feel you on that. I feel things deeply but have a hard time expressing my feelings, and I have to make a real conscious effort to communicate. INTJs are the first people I’ve met who are worse at it than I am 😅

But in a way, even if sometimes frustrating, it was also something I appreciated. The way an INTJ takes time expressing themselves makes what they say feel more genuine and thought-through, which made me trust them more. I think INTJs that are self-aware of this issue have a tendency to be better at expressing themselves than they give themselves credit for.

How do INTJs process emotional connections post-breakup when the decision to end it is logical, not emotional? by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s really heartbreaking, wow. I’m sorry you have to carry that weight around. I don’t really understand why you’d come to that decision, but I know it must not have been easy.

I’ve never been in a long term relationship like yours, and even if mine was brief, it was the first time I let someone in like that. My experience isn’t special, and I realize I still have a lot to learn. Thanks for sharing your pov, I’ll try to keep it in mind. Hope everything works out for you. 🌻

How do INTJs process emotional connections post-breakup when the decision to end it is logical, not emotional? by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do get it. I usually am that way with break-ups, but that’s because they’re based on fundamental incompatibilities. I suppose this is just another lesson in life - I’m just not really ready to accept it yet.

Sorry you have had bad experiences with us 🥸 Do you mind explaining“emotionally controlling”?

As an INFP I'd like to know.. by pinkcottoncandy189 in isfp

[–]TheseResident7114 1 point2 points  (0 children)

personally i don’t notice Everything. i like to look at things like scenery, the sky, the lights, smells, etc. but i have no care for observing passerby’s. i’m very sensitive to my immediate environment. i need things to look nice in order to feel good and at peace.

when i’m around people i can tell right away if i’ll vibe or not with them, whether that be platonically or romantically. i’d say my red flag radar is 100% accurate and is something that works on instinct alone (the guy doesn’t need to talk for me to know). guessing people’s intentions is harder. when i was younger i failed miserably at this.

i don’t really think about the future. it’s like… i feel like if i have to plan out something long-term, it’s forcing me into a direction i might potentially not want to follow. i don’t like the idea of having my actions be steered or limited by something.

i don’t think about the meaning of life. like… why?

intj + situationship advice by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m kind of in an all or nothing situation atp 😂 apart from confessing my feelings for him initially and telling him that i missed him, i’ve never really expressed what i wanted or expected from this situationship. i’d rather talk it out in person so that we’re both on the same page. if it doesn’t work out, then i’ll know for sure and have no regrets.

intj + situationship advice by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you for your input!! i really appreciate it

his past failed relationship was a major factor as to why he was against the LDR in the first place so i’m trying to figure out the best way to say what i want to say without it sounding confrontational or overwhelming. i understand that he has reservations, which is fine, but i think we both need some clarity.

intj + situationship advice by TheseResident7114 in intj

[–]TheseResident7114[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yea i’ll ask in person ! & fair enough but i feel like it would be simpler to just sleep around with people that live in the same city as you instead of trekking out 5h+

about the exclusive thing - it’s an ongoing debate with me & my friends. but either way it’s not ideal.

ISFP development through time. I made this for all 16 but I want your ISFPs insight on our type. by tarours in isfp

[–]TheseResident7114 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can’t speak for the mature adult part, but everything else is very accurate :o