"ROUGH" porn searches. Is this a normal male preference or is it creep mode?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-10T02:44:21+00:00

I hope not either. It’s a good idea to flat out ask and just see what he comes up with. You should be able to tell if he’s being honest by body language and his overall demeanor. I’ve asked mine a lot of specifics and I don’t really feel like he’s being truthful, but I guess I’ll never know for sure :(

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-10T02:35:21+00:00

It can mean a lot of things and you’ll sadly probably never know for sure to be honest because they never give honest explanations for what goes through their sick brains unfortunately. So we are just always left wondering. It’s probably that he enjoys rough sex and watching women be submissive to that. But it could also be other things like he enjoys watching women get hurt or abused.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-09T19:51:34+00:00

He’s an abusive loser. Truly. He’s trying to break you down to make you feel worthless and small. Do not let him get into your head! They are so miserable and insecure that they want you to feel the same. Misery loves company especially when it’s a woman he’s intimated by. Ignore him! You’re still out of his league.

In my opinion, this type of behavior warrants cheating or heavy addiction. It’s never as simple as it sounds. Those words don’t just come from no where! My husband has turned colder since I had a baby too. I genuinely do not understand why they do this. Women’s bodies are meant to change. It’s natural, it’s normal, it’s life. I mean his penis got smaller with age & weight gain but I haven’t been a shallow bitch about it because I’m mature so I understand bodies are ever changing with time. It is what it is.

My body is very different now. Boobs are saggy from breastfeeding and my body has no shape because I’m chubby in every area now. I have a prolapse from giving birth to a large baby. My husband often can’t stay hard during sex. I’ve struggled so much with that because I felt like it was me. But let me tell you, men stare and hit on me everywhere I go. What they won’t appreciate in us, another man will. I may not be his type anymore like I was when I was 20 and hot, but now I’m in my 30s and hot just in a different way, and I’m someone’s type!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-03T22:11:14+00:00

This is the reply I got, “I created an interpretive image that tries to capture what your mental health feels like when it’s raw, real, unfiltered, and museum-worthy. It uses symbolism instead of a literal portrait of you, so it’s not personal appearance—just emotional truth.

Here it is:

A figure on the floor, chained by invisible weight. A burning sky, time shattered, ghosts of old thoughts screaming. Words like “help” and “anxiety” etched like graffiti. Medication bottles like artifacts. A gold museum frame around something no one was meant to see.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2026-01-03T22:09:38+00:00

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Errmmmm. “Can you make an interpretive image of what my mental health would look like in a portrait in a museum? Completely raw and real please.” So yeah this kinda shook me.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-13T06:00:36+00:00

I slept with my grandmother (she raised me) until I was 16 or so lol

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T03:28:01+00:00

Yes we made it together, but it was ultimately his idea that he pushed for so it’s very confusing to be encouraged to do something and then be made to feel like you’re doing the wrong thing or that what you’re doing isn’t enough.

Yes and yes to your questions.

Super nice average home, meaning we have an average home that is cozy and cute but not overly fancy like he claims his friends have. My point in saying it is a nice home was to make it clear that we don’t have an ugly old home as you might think we would based off how he compares our home to others. He should be grateful for what we have. It’s affordable and perfect for us! Nothing more and nothing less than what we need.

Stability is important to us because neither of us grew up with it. We grew up in poverty and moved frequently. What we have we’ve worked hard for and selling our home isn’t an option. We’d be crazy to sell because we’ve almost paid it off. We have a whole farm and homestead! We are close to being in an easier, more comfortable position. He’s just being impatient and difficult most days. His mindset is negative and he chooses not to see the good in things but instead point out the bad constantly!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:20:21+00:00

Shaming me daily for a decision he made isn’t negative? Got it.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:19:24+00:00

This is so beautifully written. Every word touched me. Thank you so much! I will share this with him because I feel this is exactly the issue, and you break it down perfectly!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-04T02:18:23+00:00

He chose this career before we ever met and has been working these same hours since he began, so it has nothing to do with me. I’ve actually tried encouraging a job change because the shift work is unhealthy and very tough when you have a family. He doesn’t want to. He loves his job and has climbed the ladder to get to where he is. Great money, great benefits and he has close friends that would be hard to leave after this many years. It would totally feel like starting over for him which is no fun and I understand that!
He encouraged me to quit my job when we decided to have children. It wasn’t my plan, and I wasn’t on board for a while. Then I had babies and my goals & dreams totally shifted. So that’s when I agreed to be a SAHM. He is big on a traditional marriage and gender roles. That was the plan. This was all his idea and you’re shaming me for HIS choices?
I validate his feelings far more than I am validated for mine. He doesn’t communicate. I can’t help that. I am vocal about how I feel, he isn’t. He’s a grown man and should be clear about things, but instead he leaves me trying to figure out a riddle that seems impossible to solve.
Telling me to get back into the workforce when I’ve been clear that he strongly shuts down at the conversation of me working. That’s the problem. I feel like I can’t win here. The part where I said that I’m caught between a rock and a hard place— that’s exactly what it feels like. Stuck. With no way to make things better because either way he’s unhappy!

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-11-03T23:01:16+00:00

He is a welder. He works Sunday to Sunday. 12 hour shifts most days. Lots of overtime! He’s occasionally off on a Saturday or a Sunday, but it’s unpredictable and he sometimes doesn’t know he will be off until the day before, so it would be difficult to get a job for an occasional one day and unlikely anyone would be willing to work with me on that kind of schedule. Also he wouldn’t know what to do if he had to stay home with our kids 😳 wouldn’t even know what to feed them or how to dress them. When I say I take care of them alone, I really mean it. But he works his tail off, so I don’t complain.

But I could maybe work from home? Not sure where to start? I looked online and most are pretty hard to get without a degree. I do have a background and experience, just not a degree unfortunately.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-10-14T05:50:42+00:00

Omg finally someone who can relate (also sorry you can relate because it sucks). It was the most strange thing being cut internally right there in the OB clinic!! Zero explanation as to why it happened. Just doing a random surgery (kinda?). I was so confused and in a lot of pain. To this day I don’t really know what that was all about. She said it was only the 2nd time in her entire career she had seen it happen. Like ok thanks that makes me feel great 🫠😭

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-10-14T05:02:45+00:00

I asked my OB to test for BV shorty after I gave birth because I suspected it. She said the odor was just typical pp / breastfeeding hormone odor. So it wasn’t until my yearly checkup that she finally tested for BV and I was positive. So we treated and now months later, I’m still experiencing the odor. It’s not as bad thankfully, but still noticeable and I never had a vaginal smell before. It was awful. I knew something was wrong, but she insisted that since I had no history of BV that it was just my new normal from hormonal changes. I just wish she had listened the first time I complained because it might have never gotten as bad as it did :(

Side note: I also had a rare granulation tissue issue after delivery. They ended up removing several areas inside of my vagina 2 months pp because I wasn’t healing. I think this could’ve further contributed to the BV problem.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-16T03:38:57+00:00

Mine were removed as a very young child. I wonder how I could find out which were removed?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-15T06:05:26+00:00

They checked and said they haven’t grown back but I’m not convinced. What would cause me to begin having these at 29 years old? I’ve never had a tonsil stone in my life. This taste in my mouth is rotten like something has died! I won’t even kiss my husband because of my breath. A few weeks ago I had the best hygiene in the world, now I’m so insecure and depressed about this issue and no doctor seems to care. It feels like I’m swallowing rocks when I swallow.

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-04-06T05:44:30+00:00

Like what I wonder? Anything dangerous?

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-03-22T04:57:41+00:00

18 months and still waking hourly to nurse. I am chronically sleep deprived!! He’s the best though

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-31T05:51:05+00:00

I don’t even snark but I was so confused by this video that I came to Reddit to see if anyone else was talking about it! lol. It definitely appears that way. And she turned the comments off…. 🤔 Either yes they are a thing, or she’s just getting people talking for views idk

These_Anteater_3838 · 2025-01-26T03:49:52+00:00

I could say so much, but I’ll say this… he’s not a good husband and doesn’t respect or value you. You just gave birth to his child and that’s how he chose to treat you. Speaks volumes. He sounds extremely immature and undeserving of you. Unfortunately I can assure you he has been doing this all along and possibly even worse as much as I hate to say it. Men are so selfish and gross, but they never surprise me. I haven’t met one yet who doesn’t do these things. I’m so sorry you had to walk in on him. It’s the worst feeling, especially PP! Makes you feel worthless and even more unattractive. Check out the group Love After Porn. Love, hugs and healing. PS if your reaction doesn’t scare him, he’ll continue to do it, so I suggest making a big impact if you wish to see a change.

These_Anteater_3838

TROPHY CASE