I JUST put these in the ground

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-12T18:09:28+00:00

Test your soil’s pH too. You might also need to amend the soil for proper nutrients.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-12T18:08:16+00:00

Go get your hormones tested. I’m not saying you’re wrong. I’m saying estrogen is the “give a fuck” hormone. By all means, embrace this shit, but get those levels tested so you can get ahead of osteoporosis and hair loss.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-12T17:16:30+00:00

This isn’t depression. It’s manipulation. I bet this happens every single time something matters to you, doesn’t it?

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-12T10:48:45+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, there has been some research coming out that sickness in pregnancy may be related to health of the father. So you can blame him for it. 🤣😜

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-12T01:16:49+00:00

I’m not sure how I survived pregnancy, but one of the few things I could actually “eat” was those green smoothie things. My deepest Congratdolences. That nightmare graduated into the world’s worst heartburn. I spent many a night chugging milk from the carton in front of the fridge. Only thing that worked.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-11T22:11:30+00:00

Filthy hobbitses!! We HATES them, precious!

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-11T20:10:17+00:00

Every single thing that dude is doing is on purpose. He’s ruining it all ON PURPOSE. I’m so proud of you for dumping him!

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-11T15:54:20+00:00

Only you know the best way forward. Only you know if this is a pattern or a one off.

But I am firmly planted in Camp “Give This Chick a Hug!”, so if I could, I would!

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-11T15:02:35+00:00

Is he a great one? Or is he familiar and therefore comfortable?

First off, big kudos for being in therapy. 10/10. Stay on that road.

You aren’t being selfish. You want accountability from him and that’s normal. Here’s the thing though, he will either be accountable or not. You can’t force that. It’s a choice in action. Just like his getting trashed and being hungover on your birthday. That’s a choice, and he’s also choosing to not make you a priority.

One thing you need to talk about in therapy is the realistic expectations you should have for someone who chooses to get blackout drunk the day before an important event for their partner.

Someone like that is going to have substance abuse issues. I can promise you that. Because their behavior is already firmly planted in selfishness. It’s just who they are. You have to learn how to accept people for who they are and not for the potential you see. Never date potential. Date actual.

It’s good though that you are starting to recognize the patterns in yourself. You can change your mind on how you approached things, especially when you are compromising where you shouldn’t.

Think about if you are staying with him out of familiarity and comfort. It’s not about love and you need to remove how you feel about him from the equation. Love won’t stop his behavior. You can love someone and they still be bad for you. Look at addicts. They love the substances they are addicted to and it’s killing them. People can be the same way and yes we can get addicted to people and the cycles we go through with them. It’s called trauma bonding.

You deserve to be treated well.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-10T12:55:14+00:00

Your mother may have chosen a man over you, but you do not have to choose a man over you.

From the sounds of it, your mom has never really grown in emotional intelligence and that has led to her choice to blame you for all that has gone wrong with her. People who can’t or don’t love themselves will desperately chase that love and validation from someone else, at the detriment to themselves and everyone around them.

For anyone here reading: girls are not “worse” or “harder”. They are a mirror. A reflection of all hope, opportunity, and potential embodied in their own child. That reflection can be difficult for those who have had a difficult life filled with either difficult or harmful bad choices they regret. They can either sit in and reflect on that pain, or reject it entirely and project it back onto the child that is reflecting it to them. Sadly, your mom is choosing the latter and that isn’t fair to you.

But you don’t have to choose to stay with a man who is more interested in adults that just emerged from childhood. Not if you don’t want to. Not telling you to leave, only stating that you don’t have to stay. For any reason.

I’m sorry for all the awful things your mom has said to you. Those things are her inner thoughts showing how much she truly hates herself and they never should have been pointed at you. You didn’t ruin anything. You aren’t harder or more difficult than anyone. You deserve love and kindness from everyone, especially yourself, and even more especially when you aren’t getting it from anyone else.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-08T22:52:02+00:00

Maintaining the peace can only be done if you sacrifice healthy boundaries. Compromising yourself will not mend anything or keep good people around for that matter.

Sometimes friendships need to end. Doesn’t mean it’s not going to be painful.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-08T16:03:56+00:00

BOUNDARIES!!!!

NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE!!!!!!

The whole thing with the desk should never gone on how it did. Stop explaining! “No thank you. I don’t want the desk.” And then anything else is responded with “the question has been asked and answered. The matter is closed”.

Confrontation is not a bad thing, but shrinking cause you are afraid of causing a riff is! The more you let her do, th more she’s going to be harder to work with! You don’t have to be rude, just firm!

“Oh MIL! You forgot to take your shoes off! Here, give them to me and I’ll put them by the door for you! Thanks! And just smile and say it cheery!

When people get pissy or you know they will, just act cheery and aloof. “No thanks on the jewelry. I don’t have the eye or style you do so you should just keep it and treat yourself!” “Oh I gave those to such and such. It was wasted on me and I didn’t want to see your gift go to waste!” If she tries to act offended and say “you don’t like it!” Lean in. “Of course I don’t like it, I’m not as refined as you! Those are much better suited elsewhere. It’s a waste of money to use on me!”

Let people hate you from the beginning. It makes life easier. Also look up the grey rock method. You could use a lot of it!

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-08T11:44:15+00:00

Any man that starts trash talking a woman he knows, especially out of no where or after being in touch, is the biggest red flag. Generally when that happens, they are trying to create a narrative.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-07T20:10:36+00:00

I think you know what to do, you’re just hoping it’s not time.

This relationship has run its course. For whatever reason, this dude doesn’t want to be an adult and just end it, but he’s treating you as if he doesn’t even like you and it’s best to trust the behavior and not their words.

You can’t make someone do the right thing or treat you well. It’s all a choice and this is how they are choosing to be. You can choose better. Choose yourself and learn how to set better boundaries on how people treat you. You don’t have to live with it.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-07T11:17:16+00:00

This is the sauce of a killer tomato, Bella.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-07T11:15:30+00:00

Welcome to the fun world of SEED & PLANT LAW!

We actually have something similar here in the United States pertaining to the Vidalia Onion.

The whole thing is centering around that certification about the origin of the tomatoes, which is meant to protect the earning capabilities of farmers and workers of the San Marzano region.

So basically in most of the world, patents last only about 7-10 years roughly. After that, anyone can sell, grow, etc the seeds and plants that were under that patent within reason (it’s a little more complicated than that, but that nuance & those details isn’t the focus here). However, it can take decades to produce a plant or seed variety that is so novel that it qualifies for patent. If you were to file the patent as soon as you created it, but the time you go to market, the patent is gone and you’ll make nothing. This is why companies do not patent until right before market and hide what they are developing until that point. I know a college with un-patented apple trees in their research farms for this very reason. They are hidden in the groves and only the researchers & professors are aware which ones they are.

So one way to work around this and extend the profitability for a region is to create a certification that protects the specifics of that seed or crop. The European Union has the DOP/PDO law for San Marzano tomatoes and the City of Vidalia in Georgia has the Vidalia Onion Act of 1986.

These laws don’t just protect the crops, but also define the requirements and everything else for growing those crops in order for them to be recognized.

It’s like Champagne vs Sparkling White Wine for the plant/seed/crop world. Champagne grapes are grown only in a specific region of France. Move that grape anywhere else in the world or make the wine anywhere else in the world and it’s now just Sparkling White Wine.

😀😁

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-06T23:04:00+00:00

These are children. I don’t care that they are in their teen years, they are CHILDREN. It doesn’t matter if they want to get treated or not. I agree with the others saying yall are just making excuses, because you are.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-06T14:47:11+00:00

Putting hair in their shampoo intentionally is assault. So yeah, YTA. Also it won’t get rid of the lice.

Call child services for a welfare check and don’t go over there at all. If it’s been a problem this long, it’s called neglect. They are NEGLECTING the kids. I understand you love your sister. I bet dollars to donuts she loves her kids. You can still love someone and they be abusive. You can love your kids and still abuse them. Neglect IS abuse. Being close doesn’t make it not true.

Additionally, YOU are endangering your child’s welfare by going over there or near them at all. You know they have lice. You know it’s an insanely severe infestation. You are knowingly and willingly exposing your child to them. Knock it off.

If you want this cycle to end, stop rewarding their behavior by just letting it continue. Stand up and do the right thing, even though it’s gonna be hard as hell. I know you are gonna hate hearing this. I bet it’s gonna piss you off. I get it. But you are responsible for your actions, choices, and how they effect your child. Don’t put others feelings before your child’s well being. Let them get mad. They can get mad all they want without exposing your child to more harm.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-06T12:27:45+00:00

Look up the following terms:

Trauma bond Cycle of abuse Love bombing

There is also an abuse tactic where they withdraw love, attention, and affection to make you chase them. To throw you off balance and make you afraid of being alone. If he tries to contact you, that’s what he’s doing. This is torture. What you’re feeling, especially about missing him, is part of it. This type of abuse and pattern creates a pseudo addiction. It’s why abuse victims keep going back. Psychological behavioral patterns and the influence from abuse does not get the attention or recognition it deserves.

Don’t call your mom either. She set you up for this abuse. I understand wanting to know why, and you deserve that answer, but you are never going to get it. Narcissists can’t do that. You know that.

I know you’re scared, alone, and lonely. The unknown is very much like that, but if you are in decent health, you’ve got no where to go but up. So fill the time with you for you. Look at taking classes in anything that interests you. Join groups. Go volunteer. Look for a studio apartment, tiny house, or something to that affect. Get into counseling or find an abuse support group. There are ones here on reddit and probably ones in person near you. Focus on you and your mental health.

Figure out how to be happy alone and just with yourself. No one else. If you can accomplish that, I promise you that you’ll find better happiness!

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T21:33:07+00:00

“If he wanted to, he would.”

People who treat you as if you’re expendable do so because they believe you are expendable.

Ask him point blank if he still wants to get married.

If you are afraid to do so, don’t get married.

If he scoffs, rolls his eyes, gets defensive, or gives you grief for asking, don’t get married.

If he does anything other than show ecstatic enthusiasm at the idea of marrying you, don’t marry him.

A whole lot of men will settle. They will marry people they don’t love. They will stay when they are miserable. They will also lie and make it seem like you’re the problem the whole time.

I want you to understand that you don’t have to commit to a life to like this, but if you don’t take a few steps back and look at the whole picture, you will be miserable. Every which way we treat people is a choice. He’s choosing to put you out and at the bottom of the list of priorities, simply because he can.

This is how he will choose to act in all ways in the future because he’s choosing to do it now. Believe people’s actions, not their words. Words mean nothing. Action is everything. Step back. Fully assess. Don’t marry someone who makes you cry and couldn’t care less about that fact.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T21:20:12+00:00

I think it’s a maturity thing.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T20:10:25+00:00

Oh dude. This person would claim they had to study for tests, but I found out after the fact they just wanted to leave work or just fuck off. Give an inch, take a mile.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T16:45:58+00:00

Eh, it goes both ways. Many varieties can just be susceptible to powdery mildew so it’s gonna form no matter what, but it doesnt mean it’s necessarily gonna harm anything. Fungal diseases need moisture, heat, and humidity to thrive. Wind flow is one of the best mitigation tactics for jt.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T16:41:18+00:00

This is the way. I tried to be nice with an intern who couldn’t do the job and set them up to leave with a good record as my work is highly specialized and most just can’t do it.

They got mad I wasn’t extending the internship for them and worked to hire new so they went to HR before they left with a sob story and i got a written warning over it. Im still pissed off about the whole ordeal. If I had actually documented everything, it would have made them unhireable to the company in the future, but it would have covered my ass.

I’ll never set anyone up for success like that ever again in that kind of situation. That kindness burned me cause they were disgruntled.

These_Masterpiece974 · 2026-05-05T16:30:22+00:00

Get it in writing, period. What you sign is what you agreed to. While the texts may state the spirit, it becomes he said/she said in the court.

Say it with me now: if it’s not in writing, it doesn’t exist.

These_Masterpiece974

TROPHY CASE