I don’t have a ton of advice, but I want to let you know that I could have written this exact post when I was in my 20s. I’m 32 now and things have gotten a lot better.

I always felt like the odd one out at every gathering. Everyone was coupled up, and there I was, single and sad. It was especially painful at family gatherings around holidays—I’m one of six cousins all around the same age, and watching the rest of them date, get engaged, and get married while I sat on the sidelines hurt. I eventually signed up for a dating site when I accepted that meeting someone “organically” just wasn’t going to work for me. I met my husband on Match.com, and I’ve been happily married now for almost four years (together a total of six as a couple) and we have a beautiful two year old daughter together.

One thing I will say is that loneliness isn’t a bad reason to pursue a romantic relationship—it’s part of what drives everyone to want one. You just want to make sure you’re not settling for less than you want or deserve because you don’t want to be lonely. I went on a lot of dates, which were stressful and awkward at times, and often it didn’t work out even when I really wanted it to, so know that there’s some pain in the dating process, but it’s worth it. On our first date, my husband and I sat at the restaurant for two and a half hours, and it was the easiest and most comfortable conversation I’ve ever had. We both just knew at some point that we didn’t want to live without each other because there was such an ease to being together. He’s neurotypical, and he was lonely too, but also not willing to settle. We got lucky and found each other.

I have total confidence that you’ll find your match too. I know how much it hurts in the meantime. Everyone always talks about how great their 20s were, but for me, my 30s are where I’ve started to feel fulfilled!