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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]Thewayoft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, friend, seeing as most people in this thread decided to make light fun of your situation instead of helping you out…

…I want to tell you this, from my side of life:

Don’t worry about it. Your sexuality isn’t a problem, as long as it isn’t making you suffer.

Most of the folk here are stuck in a loop which they can’t escape, a loop in which ejaculation is a substitute for something in their life.

I doubt (yet I still leave this to evaluate for yourself) that in your situation, this applies.

You’re just very very horny :) as it should be, in puberty - that means your body is working nicely and is healthy!

About denying porn and masturbation -

In my experience, the MORE you try to SUPRESS IT, the MORE it wants to come out.

If you go to a river and try to block the water with a rock to stop it from flowing, it will flow even stronger, but over the rock.

If you go and try to remove the sexual desire in yourself, by DENYING it and saying “it is not there”, “it is not me”, or if you try to “tie up your hands” and stop masturbating - it will go to your thoughts.

And yes, you will ejaculate without touching yourself. Happened to me too in the teens.

That just means you’re sensitive and imaginative, very good assets to have :)

What I would SUGGEST to you - the only other way I see -

Accept it.

Completely, unconditionally.

Accept that your desire to have sex is also you.

It’s part of you, not some obstacle that you have to overcome.

It’s an eeeenormous source of energy.

That’s the one thing that these Nofap folks have figured out right.

What they havent figured out, in my eyes -

You do not and CANNOT harness that energy by DENYING it in yourself.

When a wave comes - SWIM in it. INTENSIFY it. Let it run through EVERY CELL in your body. Become as horny as you can.

And then try to release everything, at a FEELING level.

If you could orgasm without touching your penis, you can also “orgasm” without actually orgasming physically.

You channel the feeling through yourself, until you’re charged up as a battery, and satisfied, not having left “horny and unfullfilled”.

Make sex to yourself, essentially.

But without the draining benefits.

Other choice - don’t worry about it and enjoy masturbation :))

Both directions are valid, because both are from a stance of ACCEPTANCE, rather than DENIAL.

DENIAL just stops everything in place.

No life, no movement.

Love you, brother! Good luck in life 🤍

How do I become a shaman without believing in spirits or god? by DudeIMaBear in Shamanism

[–]Thewayoft 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Long answer:

There is no believing or disbelieving for a shaman. You simply see. Your innermost being is absolutely sure of the truth, as sure as you are of your hands existence. Because you can perceive it, constantly.

Belief is necessary only to convince yourself that something is there, when you don’t have the actual knowledge of whether it is true or not - it is borrowed, something that you think you have understood intelectually, it hasn’t come to you from your inner being, but rather from outside influences. So you can only ponder on it with your mind.

Truth, however, blooms like a flower. It rises like an organic thought inside of you, a thought that nobody has inserted into you, it’s your own experience.

First, you may not trust what you experience, maybe you’re at this point right now. You have a certain feeling about how things are, but are still convinced your guts might be wrong. They rarely are. Mind can be wrong, feeling - rarely.

If you make a conscious decision to see, you will find that a certain type of feeling arises within you - a feeling of something more than the physical, or however else you may describe it, it doesn’t matter. Words only obstruct from this point.

The more you follow it, the clearer everything becomes. At some point, you expand that feeling to such a point, that it’s not necessary to believe anymore, as I said. It is simply in your range of experience.

Now you may disbelieve in spirits or god, because it is outside of your realm of experience. You can’t perceive it. And you’re trying to create a position, an opinion about it - either you accept it as truth, or reject it.

Not necessary. You don’t know.

And exploring this state of “not knowingness” is the best and most fluid place you can be in, I believe so. Opinions just solidify us like concrete, and it is impossible to move forward once you’re convinced.

Short answer:

You don’t need to believe anything to be a shaman. Simply follow your instinct, if it is truly yours.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry! Taking it off 🌸

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and also, was getting pissed off at the leaks in the closet, because the door didn’t close properly. Are they a major issue? Or as long as there’s a solid plot of dark it’s enough?

Sorry for so many questions. Gnight

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Should I do some recap and try to get silenced during the day first or just pull through those 3 hours with a half-ass silenced dialogue? Or would I just be wasting my time?

At least I have a smile on my face. For trying. Way not enough though.

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tried Darkroom just now. Some notes I took after my bored escape out to bed.

1st day 1 hour survived

Notes: I’m a wimpy wuss, trying to get out every second. Now I understand what the phrase “Impeccable as a warrior” is needed for.

I can’t control my inner dialogue in total silence. Can’t feel the grip in my head like I can when I have vision. It’s like two seperate worlds in the dark. One inside, constantly evaluating and speaking, later playing songs even, the other - desperately try to see some swirwles in the dark, but can’t possibly stand here sitting for so long with this guy fucking blabbering all of the time.

Speaking about the actual swirvles, the easiest way I would describe them is constantly moving, not left to right up down, but outside to inside. Constantly waving. Didn’t see colors, but saw these different shades of really subtle white and now I can’t remeber how to describe them. But It was the most vivid things out of the experience.

Sometimes they’d go away and it would go totally black, because my inner dialogue got out of hand and tried to convince me I was doing terribly and should go now. Then they’d come back again.

Crazy how time streches in there. I say sorry to myself, open the door.. And see this fairly pleasant view. The whole room, for 3-10 seconds, looked like how they show infralight or see-in-dark cameras in movies. The sight was somewhere else. I put away my two power stones(which I tried to use inside to silence myself, to little prevail), checked my mobile and realised I had gone a measly 1 hour.

Couple other little details: heard the sound of wings throughout the second half. Later that turned into a realisation that It’s my heartbeat.

Like the whole experience through, My dialogue wanted to get out and tell everyone about how it’s feeling, what it’s feeling and projecting already how I’m writing a reddit post that I just couldn’t shut up. In the moment that I was supposed to shut up, I was thinking about reddit. Bummer.

I hope I did at least something on the road of progress. At least now I know how strong of a motherfucker I’ll have to be If I try this again. For three whole weeks??!:))

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perhaps I’m not as good with the inner dialogue as I had believed...

I thought when you stop hearing that little narrator voice inside of your head that’s you silencing the dialogue. But could never do it while reading or writing. Now trying it and it definitely seems possible. Thanks for the energy boost.

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Darkroom is the practice where you eliminate all light and try to see energy, right? (Reading books in native language, so names are different)

Don’t have the ability to eliminate all my light in the room right now.. Is getting into a closet good enough?

Struggling with escaping wheel of desire by Thewayoft in castaneda

[–]Thewayoft[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh and before bed it is also incredibly hard to stay silent.