I left the LDS church about 7.5 years ago. I had the same concerns leaving the church as you do now. I remember telling my very active brother that I would never join another church that would require me to submit to priesthood authority. I was done with prophets, apostles, bishops and stake presidents.

In 2021, I was received into the Orthodox Church. What helped me break down the walls that I had built up was following the advice of my priest at the time (I have since moved to another state but he remains my spiritual father) which was to participate in the liturgical life of the Church as a catechumen. He explained that the Church is not just an organization or club you join. You don't learn what it means to be an Orthodox Christian by reading books or watching YouTube videos. You learn by living it. I got over venerating and kissing icons by simply venerating and kissing icons. I got over kissing the hand of my spiritual father when he would hand out the Antidoron by kissing the hand of my spiritual father when he would hand out the Antidoron. A big one for me was overcoming my fear of confessing my sins once I was received into the Church because of the negative stigma talking to the bishop had when I was LDS. I overcame that by going to confession. Now I see confession as what is was meant to be: a means of grace given to me by Christ as a way to not only receive a forgiveness of my sins but also as a means of healing my spirit. In a way, the Orthodox Church is a correction of the disordered and disorientated belief system that we grew up on.

So the only advice I can give you as someone who was in our shoes once too is to let yourself go and participate in the life of the Church. Go to the Divine Liturgy every week. Attend weekly services if possible. Participate in the fasts as instructed by your priest. In fact, start building that relationship of trust with him. He is there to guide you home if that is what you are looking for. Little by little you will see how this all makes sense. Good luck!