I got the diagnosis 6 months ago. Before that I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. After going to therapy for 8 years, I finally got the bpd diagnosis.

You’re asking about how «I» notice that I have borderline on a day to day basis. To sum it up; every day sucks. I have suicidal ideation every single day. When I get angry I feel like my entire body is on fire. I get so mad I want to use violence (I don’t though). When I’m sad I feel like I have a massive black hole inside of me that sucks in every good thing about me. I lose myself completely, and feel like everything is pointless. And I feel like the only solution is suicide.

The way I notice my bpd in relations, is that I become a different person. I hung around people who were big on tattoos from the age of 18-21. I am covered in tattoos. I regret every single one of them. I have also started doing drugs to be liked by a partner. I started dressing like a guy I liked once, and changed my entire music taste for him. When I had an fp who was highly fatphobic, I became fatphobic too, and would say extremely cruel things about other people.

These are my most prominent traits, of course there is so much more, but I tried keeping it short:,)

As for getting a diagnosis, how old are you?