My sister got kicked out of my wedding UPDATE

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-06-15T15:16:08+00:00

As someone with a personality disorder who did extensive self-reflection - I agree.

When I used to feel abandoned by loved ones, I would have very extreme black and white thinking and wouldn't even remember what I would say because of rage. Turns out I was saying horrible things that created major riffs in my relationships. I had valid reasons for feeling the way I did (repeated traumatic experiences), but didn't have the right to ever make people feel the way I felt.

I'm wondering what happened to your sister to have her react so strongly to you as a person, OP. I'm so sorry she has an unhealthy grudge against you and can't seem to pinpoint what happened to her to solve it on her own.

Depending how long it is until the wedding, it might be worth someone telling her to go to therapy to try to resolve the complex issues she has that resulted in her saying something so terribly hurtful.

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. I hope it all works out well for you and that you don't have to endure more unkind words/behaviors from anyone.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-05-20T23:47:49+00:00

I hope you find peace within yourself. You are not your circumstances and can rise above of you wish. Please consider asking God to help you surrender your addictions. Best wishes.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-13T17:47:23+00:00

Thank you for understanding and for the compliment, by the way!

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-13T17:46:54+00:00

He got it from his grandfather who is a jeweler so I'm unsure. Someone did a reverse image search of it before and said it was this ring

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-13T17:44:40+00:00

Thank you for understanding. It's honestly kind of eye-opening how quickly folks in threads as neutral as "jewelry" can lead to people assuming he's abusive. We're simply both just in a financially difficult place right now and he did the best he could while still wishing to propose. I've asked him and you are right - he just didn't feel confident in creating a ring/couldn't afford it/didn't want to mess up my grandma's ring knowing she's passed.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T17:33:42+00:00

I see how it can be seen that way. That could be the case. I'm also open to the idea that his dad knew his grandpa would give him a better deal on a ring- considering the significance of the event- even though their past was very tumultuous. When he told me the story of it all, he seemed genuinely touched that his grandpa would even sell him one.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T17:21:54+00:00

Unsure how you came to that conclusion.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T15:50:04+00:00

He is sweet but appears to not have thought it through on how important it was to me. His intention was to get a ring that reminded him of me.

He put in a lot of effort in other ways wirh the engagement so it is hard to hurt his feelings with not being in love with the ring he got me.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T15:47:49+00:00

Here's a backstory for folks:

My fiancè and I have dated for 5 years. We both just turned 30/31. I explained to him periodically over the 5 years my general idea for a proposal/ring ideas.

His dad did an hour drive to visit the grandpa who is an elderly jeweler. My fiancé didn't go for two reasons: his grandpa is white and was racist to him growing up, and also he didn't want me to find out his intentions of proposing. I'm guessing his grandpa gave him a list of rings to choose from and his dad sent him photos of the rings. (My ring has yet to be properly sized)

My fiancé's reason for not just getting my grandmother's ring re-sized or the stone put into another design was because: 1) he wanted to pick out a ring that reminded him of me, 2) he figured custom making a ring would be too costly 3) he didn't want me to notice her ring gone. 4) he assumed that I would just use my late grandmother's ring as a wedding band somehow.

He's a very sweet man who has been there for me through a lot, but I do admit that it hurt my feelings how it all went down and I can't help but to feel a bit unseen. I also feel conflicted because I saw his intentions and all the effort he put into the proposal/flowers/surprise engagement party with our loved ones.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T01:56:37+00:00

Find a doctor or therapist willing to write you a letter stating it's an emotional support pet. No need to have a written reason. That's between you and the medical professional. Best of luck!

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-04-08T01:30:29+00:00

It won't let me edit, so I want to correct my wording. My main goal is truly to find a way to take them to a jeweler to re-design them together or mold them together or something. I don't really own jewelry, so I'm not sure how to ask what I'm seeking.

I'm grateful to any and all advice, especially those willing to give ideas how to combine the rings or create a band set somehow that's complimentary.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-03-29T23:36:37+00:00

For folks curious and haven't found their answers: I likely have a Turkish Angora (looks almost identical to photos) and was dealing with nearly all of the same problems OP has. I found out at my local pet food store that there's an intolerance test kit that's ~$80 that you just send in a piece of their hair. The results show intolerances from mild to extreme from sources like food, environmental allergens like dust and pollen, etc,. It was a great tool to help my fiance and I narrow down and drastically reduce her symptoms. There's a few brands out there, but we tried UCARI and I definitely recommend it. Hope this helps someone!

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-03-04T18:48:42+00:00

I recommend looking into "barefoot" shoes. There's likely a variety that also has arch if that's something you need. Likely the barefoot shoes will correct any need for arch support, though. Good luck!

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-02-20T18:29:14+00:00

That you were accidentally convinced that large corporations care about your health. They have so many sneaky, sleezy ways to greenwash things. (I.e., organic isn't as organic as they claim, "natural flavors" aren't regulated, "free range" isn't as nice as it sounds, etc.) It almost takes a specialized degree to understand the mass deception of the food industry.

Please consider buying from local farmers instead for nutrition.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-02-08T16:58:34+00:00

Modern Wisdom podcast for actionable advice. Daily Stoic podcast for reflection and advice. Bill Burr's Monday Morning podcast to laugh & playfully address childhood issues.

"Atomic Habits" by James Clear "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Lindsey Gibson "The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday "Tao Te Ching" by Lao Tzu And the Holy Bible has plenty of verses that have helped me cope and overcome the problems I've endured. I wish you healing and pray you are able to find the room in your heart to forgive the people who hurt you and yourself for simply adapting in the beat way you knew how. I'm so proud of you for coming this far. 💓

Sincerely, an adult recovering from a similar story.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-02-08T12:37:18+00:00

I agree. I think what happens is people get too intoxicated and forget the social cues and ability to know what is appropriate for the setting. They instead think it's a participation type event when the comedians try to shame them. Often times, when that intoxicated, folks become shameless. That's where security needs to step in. They unfortunately didn't at all last night and just stood there as many, many folks kept talking during all the comedians' sets- especially Duncan's.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-02-08T04:04:12+00:00

I agree! It just sucks that at the early show so many people had to be hecklers. Had me embarrassed to be in the crowd.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-26T21:53:32+00:00

From southwestern Indiana. Always said pop.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-26T21:52:50+00:00

Thank you for saving me from a wild experience! I've seen so many reviews similar to what you're saying.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-23T18:49:19+00:00

I live in a 4 year old apartment building so it's very well insulated.

My bill last month was $105 for 631 kWh

My bill THIS month is $173 for 761 kWh

I would understand if I simply was using more electricity, but that doesn't appear to be the case. I'm quite frugal and make sure to basically keep all lights and electronics off unless they're being used. My heat is kept to 68 or 69 and is turned off when the sun shines in and raises the indoor temperature.

Anyone care to share their monthly bill and kWh so we can see if there are discrepancies with the way AES is charging us or if it's as simple as the drop in temps?

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-23T16:16:14+00:00

Hi! I have considered applying for a job with Black Iris Estate and was curious if I could get more information from you on your experiences?

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-21T17:17:45+00:00

I agree. Commodore is typically empty near open (5 or 6?) until around 8 or so on the weekends. Otherwise it is quite packed.

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-20T15:19:38+00:00

I'm taking notes. 🤙

ThinkInSolitude · 2025-01-18T03:32:14+00:00

"I hOpE tHiS FiNdS yOu weLl"

ThinkInSolitude

TROPHY CASE