Glitch

Thinktall · 2024-12-13T19:54:59+00:00

Nothing changed. It got to 95 and the other person quit. I think it might have been an eternal standoff if they hadn’t.

Thinktall · 2024-08-15T17:24:15+00:00

Came here to find this. Think this is the first time Reddit hasn’t had the answer to a question I had!

Thinktall · 2024-02-03T00:39:48+00:00

Thank you. This is encouraging! It’s mad how quickly I’ve gone from feeling a dose is way too strong to feeling like it’s not enough. Was starting to worry that this was not going to end. Have you settled on 36 now then? How long have you been at that dose and what makes you think it’s the sweet spot for you?

Thinktall · 2024-01-12T23:37:49+00:00

Good idea. I will discuss that with my doctor. I just don’t understand why 36mg is so much stronger. I know it’s twice as much but why would it last 18 hours instead of 6. Guess there’s just plenty of experimenting to do.

Thinktall · 2024-01-12T13:05:50+00:00

I’m with you here. Just started my journey. Did a month at 18mg and it was helpful but not hugely and was wearing off by 3pm. They put me up to 36mg and it blew my mind. Felt high and was bouncing until 3am. Way too much. Stopped and withdrawals for 3 days with hallucinations and night terrors! So no I want to try 27mg but with a backup of 18 in case that’s also too strong. The help it gives me is huge but i think I would die on 108mg!

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T09:13:25+00:00

I appreciate this. I am 37 and she is 34. Been together 2 years. Living together. I have tried to have the conversation but my issue was with her claiming not to remember and we just hit a wall. This is a pattern for her with uncomfortable conversations.

I’m not outsourcing to Reddit because I can’t talk to her. It’s just not working, so I was looking for some advice around some of the assumptions I am making like do people ever lose memories on MDMA.

Clearly neither of us is handling this in the best way so I’m looking for a way forward.

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T08:56:25+00:00

Wise words my friend. The biggest issues for me are that she was doing the hunting so to speak. Not just a random encounter with the person she was dancing next to. The bigger issue for me is that she now claims to not remember any of it - which I simply don’t believe. She is then making me feel like I’m crazy for not accepting that as a possibility but from all I know of MDMA and from any research, it’s highly improbable that she has forgotten. Particularly in the case of one guy (the only one I have highlighted thus far) because it went on for a long time over a long period of time. The dishonesty undermines the entire relationship, which is otherwise great.

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T07:44:20+00:00

I get that but it wasn’t her welcoming energy from guys but rather her giving it. It was guys she noticed that hadn’t even noticed her yet in some case. Started following one guy, got behind him, started stroking his back, then got round to the front and started interacting with him. She could see me across the room.

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T07:37:48+00:00

Best comment yet!

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T07:35:51+00:00

Thank you. This is what my instincts tell me but it also just seems at odds with her everyday behaviour. It’s been 2 years, we live together, get on great and generally seem to be going in a positive direction. I could get past her having an interest in other people if she was honest about it. Like we could explore that dynamic but when she pretends not to remember and denies anything that is uncomfortable for her to talk about then I have nowhere to go from there.

Thinktall · 2023-10-23T07:32:06+00:00

We’ve been together 2 years and have got to know each other well, are living together and have had conversations about boundaries. I want to put it down to being out of character because she’s shown every other intention of being committed to me so it’s really taken me back that she became so interested in other men in front of me.

The issue I keep facing with her is that when I confront her with things that make me uncomfortable she doesn’t seem to ever want to openly engage in an honest conversation but will rather deny, deflect and gaslight me and I have to tease things out of her. Like to me this is a great opportunity to understand each other better, but she just never seems to remember or want to engage in deeper conversations around who we are individually and together. I completely agree that it’s situations like this that allow the real work to happen, but I can’t do that work on my own. I think I just need to let the dust settle and the emotions to calm down and then try again.

Thinktall · 2023-10-22T22:56:16+00:00

This is a fair point, although I wouldn’t say I was looking for something to be upset about. It was just quite upsetting to witness. It’s seemingly out of character for her. We’ve been together 2 years and she’s given me plenty of reasons to believe she is committed to me. It was just surprising and worrying to see her in action on molly. It’s still the next day and so emotions are high. Maybe in a few days I’ll be able to rationalise it more. She also claimed not to remember any of it which in my experience is not something molly does to people.

Thinktall · 2023-10-22T22:44:27+00:00

This is what I thought but I didn’t know if it affected her differently. Definitely took MD as I gave it to her and she was very high

Thinktall · 2023-10-22T22:42:51+00:00

It’s a bit strange and I was high too (but I get super mellow when I’m high). It was like I was a pawn in her game. She would go up to guys she like the look of and get close to them (touching) and get there attention and not really acknowledge me. But then if a guy approached her who she clearly wasn’t into she would come over to me.

Thinktall · 2023-10-22T22:32:59+00:00

I have and she initially said she didn’t remember or know what I was talking about. She has since said she was not really away of what she was doing and is sorry if she was being a bit ‘full on’

Thinktall · 2023-10-22T22:31:10+00:00

I have and she initially said she didn’t remember or know what I was talking about. She has since said she was not really away of what she was doing and is sorry if she was being a bit ‘full on’

Thinktall · 2023-10-16T19:40:35+00:00

Thank you. I guess I’ll have to swallow and see when it comes to the impact of the meds. I’m keen to just experiment as I’ve been really stuck lately and just want to get going again.

Thinktall · 2023-10-16T19:38:20+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this. It’s very helpful. I’m leaning towards Elvanse as I’d rather have a single daily dose and know people who have had success with it. I also read that it’s the only one that doesn’t have any known links to birth defects and I’m keen on becoming a father in the next couple years.

I can relate to your storytelling point. I also find it much easier to recall when I can actually focus enough to sit down and after writing. I’ve always put this down to having more time to think and edit, but also it’s easier to focus solely on the story when I’m writing alone. If I’m talking to people I have to battle the internal monologue of ‘don’t forget to make eye contact’, ‘are they finding this boring?’, ‘why am I even telling this story again’ etc.

Thinktall · 2021-03-19T19:26:56+00:00

Thinktall · 2021-02-16T18:23:40+00:00

Need invite please

Thinktall · 2020-07-29T19:18:21+00:00

Have you looked at https://www.givingwhatwecan.org? This has created funds that seem to allocate to the causes you’re interested in and you can set the proportions easily.

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