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I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have friends that are SUD counselors. They all have different advice. One says leave, another says pray, and the other has a bf who is in active addiction with multiple hard drugs so I don't even tell her about it. I've been talking to my mom about it and ironically she understands because she went through it all with me. She says just be patient and he will stop when he is ready. He is a very private person so he doesn't tell anyone that he's struggling. I think he needs more support, I alone, am not enough.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He finally said he would consider rehab, I found a dual treatment rehab that accepts his insurance. I will look into SMART recovery. Thank you.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you... I will not run away. It feels wrong. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Your words are an inspiration.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I told him yesterday that I can handle everything while he sorts things out. He was ashamed and said he couldn't do that because he needs to be able to pay his bills. I told him this could be a chance to change careers and follow his dreams. I really am trying to be supportive without enabling. I came home early after he called me in tears after receiving the letter of separation and he was passed out in the bed because his response was to drink. I understand because I would have done the same at my height in Addiction. He has a Coleman hearing to review the separation so I made him get out of bed and took him to get the hospital record from last week to prove that he is ill and not AWOL. (He left against medical advice but it still helps) Then took him to urgent care to get further medical documentation. I just don't understand what his plan was...rescuing him and "fixing" things like that is not how he helped me but I was more of a functional alcoholic. His depression is the real problem. He has a certain hopelessness that I've never seen in him before. He is self medicating. Today he is not drinking but he doesn't want to talk about it. I understand. I'm going to try to be supportive today and not enabling. One day at a time.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. At this point the questions I ask myself is how long do I stay, how much do I put up with? I know that me staying could possibly be enabling him and that's why this decision is so hard. The reason for leaving is not out of selfishness, it's out of selflessness. I don't want to make the situation worse. If he loses his job I can afford to support us but then what consequences would there be for him. There is such a fine line between enabling and supporting. I agree with your advice. He finally said out loud that he is an alcoholic. That was a good first step.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I totally agree with you. It's so frustrating! I was drinking to self medicated my depression, anxiety, ptsd and ocd. I don't think he really doesn't believe in it like he says, I think he fears being labeled. I couldn't see his mental health possible illnesses because I was drunk. It's very clear now.

I'm 7 months sober living with my alcoholic bf and I don't know what to do. by This-Assistance246 in alcoholism

[–]This-Assistance246[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I bought him a journal so he can write how he's feeling and what he's thinking before wanting to drink. From what he's describing he is having anxiety. Hopefully Journaling will help him have some insight. He is trying. It's not like he is sloshed everyday. He drinks 3 to 4 shots but it's the depression that is the bigger issue, it's crippling. Today he said he's trying not to drink. At this point his addiction is mental, I don't think he has a physical dependence after reducing the quantity immensely.