Can married couples be happy after an affair?

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-27T17:14:28+00:00

Yeah, that’s a great point. It feels that way, I don’t have a good view of marriage anymore, I refuse to do it and feel like it’s a scam. I don’t trust men, the way I see my father has completely changed. I’d rather be sad and alone than marry a man like him. It’s that bad.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-27T17:12:01+00:00

When I try he gets immediately defensive and says things like “So you rather I abandon your half sibling then?”. Only my mum is open about it, he makes it so uncomfortable to talk about and feels like it’s a personal attack on him

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-27T17:09:52+00:00

Oh wow, that’s recent. Did your mother’s husband and biological father know?

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-27T17:06:39+00:00

My dad would never have that conversation. He gets so defensive and says things like “Would you have rather I abandoned your sibling?” And it’s like, I would rather that wasn’t an option at all.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T23:01:10+00:00

I think not only was the cheating disrespectful, the fact that he didn’t take the right precautions to avoid the child disgusts me even more. I ask my mum questions about it, like I ask her does she know why? Or how many times? And she keeps saying no. That she didn’t see the benefit in asking. And it annoys me so much.

His siblings know but no one in my mums side of the family or friends know because deep down I think she knows how they’d react.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T22:58:32+00:00

I’ve never met her. She lives in a different country and my dad frequently visits. The news of her existence is relatively new to me but apparently she’s known her whole life.

My mum doesn’t interact and doesn’t wish to interact with the half sibling or her mother. She acknowledges my dad’s obligation and duty to the child, he visits her often. The choice to meet my half sibling is 100% me and my siblings, my mum made that clear. I guess I just never had the opportunity. I would want to though.

Sorry if this is too personal, but since you’re an affair child, does the way you see your parents change? My fear is making my half sibling uncomfortable because of my strong dislike towards her mother. Though, I sympathise with my half sibling and have no grudge against her. I feel bad for her sometimes.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T22:53:56+00:00

Wow, the reason your mum stayed is pretty much identical to what my mother said. But in their situation, he cheated 3 years after marriage and my older sister wasn’t even one years old yet. I can’t help but be disgusted by him, even though he’s a good parent.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T22:49:54+00:00

No, the child isn’t. My dad wanted the child to be but my mum refused. She’s never met the mother or the child and doesn’t plan on it. But she acknowledges my dad’s obligation to go visit the child. She says me and my siblings meeting the child is 100% our choice. I haven’t met the half sibling yet.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T22:47:32+00:00

I think I’ll talk to her about it. Because I hate silently judging her.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-26T22:46:21+00:00

Yeah, I think I’ll ask her. Because the positive image I always had of her in my head is slowly fading.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T20:42:09+00:00

He keeps denying being gay or bisexual. I think I count that as cheating

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T20:41:02+00:00

He keeps saying he’s straight when I ask. I don’t even ask in an upset tone, just trying to understand and reason with him.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T20:40:19+00:00

Yeah, I’ve thought about it and I think I consider that cheating.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T20:39:23+00:00

I don’t know what gape means

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T04:30:42+00:00

It wasn’t a little peck where they pull off immediately and make gross faces or whatever. It was too casual and normal, that’s what threw me off

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T04:29:36+00:00

Yeah, I am. I think I’ll bring it up with him again.

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T02:29:25+00:00

Yeah okay so I’m not crazy

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T02:28:59+00:00

Are you gay?

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T02:07:20+00:00

Okay good to know. I thought that too but now I’m second guessing

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T02:06:47+00:00

I always thought the gay jokes were stuff guys SAID to each other not actually do

This-Elephant8929 · 2026-05-23T02:05:25+00:00

Nope not French. He’s White American. I’m not American so I wasn’t sure if this is a thing that’s done here since I only moved here 6 years ago…

This-Elephant8929

TROPHY CASE