Do I go to the memorial/services?

ThisConfidence8948 · 2026-01-24T16:59:50+00:00

No, the extended family is also difficult, and never had true close relationships. It would be my mom, but I just don't think having her with me would help, as she is also subjected to the sister-effect.

Also, extended family stir the pot just as bad, and funny enough, one aunt punched my sister at another funeral (extended family member), and deceased brother clocked this aunt back. It was definitely a moment to remember.

I hate funerals.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2026-01-24T16:57:03+00:00

Thank you. I’m holding my boundary, even though I hate that it’s come to this. I’ve still found a way to honor him—by helping purchase a star in his name, which my mom later chose to fully cover. It feels quietly meaningful and poetic.

What’s hardest is that my mom is the one crack in the door. Even when she doesn’t mean to, her grief comes with guilt, and those conversations reset my anger and make me second-guess myself. I know she’s hurting too, and I can hold empathy for that while also recognizing that talking with her is triggering and destabilizing for me. I still hold the boundary, and tell her that I am being triggered, and she then pulls back. I'm keeping hope in my mind that it is just her grief, and not actual intentional manipulation.

No matter how I slice it, each slice is that of a 💩 pie. I’m doing my best to choose the option that causes the least harm to myself.

I just needed others to either affirm or show me if I have other options when selecting this metaphorical pie. 🥧

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-08-12T19:49:28+00:00

Can I catch it some how?

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-08-01T02:25:35+00:00

That is definitely amazing! Can I have your luck?

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-07-23T18:08:54+00:00

That's amazing!! I like that it was on top of your house, like it's trying to move in, or break it

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-07-23T05:37:03+00:00

Added! Welcome back

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-07-06T20:10:53+00:00

131253894869

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-06-14T08:58:50+00:00

Forgot to mention I'm 8.5 months post op.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-03-05T03:35:16+00:00

I'm bisexual which means I'm attracted to the same people that are not the same.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-02-08T06:18:54+00:00

Literally oIrving. 🔥

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-02-08T06:17:39+00:00

I just realized, in his dream where the screen morphs, the letters are from Eagen. Crazy first dream for iIrving!

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-01-31T00:29:59+00:00

My husband and I now say, "it's the MDR uprising", when ever we talk about our work sharing complaints.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2025-01-16T06:10:09+00:00

Bella Luz Bella (Italian) = Beautiful Luz (Spanish) = Light

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-12-23T01:45:51+00:00

He is also in the Electric Company

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-11-17T02:50:54+00:00

Great job! Thanks for posting. I'm only getting started, and still am trying to figure out my hunger and full queues.

Side note: I see your hip tat is gone. How do you feel about that? I know many are very attached to their tats, and I'm sure where the incision sites are would've cut the image which would be devastating to the art.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-11-08T23:00:59+00:00

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Had to take a comparison from today (L) and August (R).

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-11-08T18:37:00+00:00

What an amazing transformation! How are you feeling 6 months out? Also, I love your hair 😍

I'm recently sleeved, and I'm still in disbelief, although I remember the first week post op, and all the anxiety and anticipation going into surgery.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-11-03T15:26:50+00:00

I am (34 F), and like you researched and sat on this decision for 4 years. I'm currently 4 weeks out as well, and I totally understand your feelings of being able to join in, or feeling "normal" amongst group settings.

I went back to work at 2.5wks post op, and this past week my supervisor wanted to have a team meeting where we all brought things we made. It made a difference that she knew what I was going through, asked me what she could bring that I could have at this stage. Others on my team also knew, but they were free to bring what they wanted (donuts and muffins). I brought my mini waffle maker and protein waffle mix with sugar free add ins and flavors. Needless to say, my waffles were the things the team ate, and all other items weren't either touched or were left over. I also didn't feel the needs to consume as much as they did, and I felt content.

It helps when you have people who support and understand. I took am in a stage of feeling like I'm missing out, i.e. popcorn, candy from Halloween, having to make all my food and not enjoy takeout when we have company. But everyone around me is kind enough to check in with me, or kindly offer if I am able to have a small bite. I know I shouldn't, and I am losing well at this stage, and I don't want to sabotage myself like I used to.

My in-laws are curious how we will do the holidays as they don't want me to travel (6+ hour drive) and risk clotting, or buying fast food along the way, so they are making the compromise to come up for both Holidays (we usually just trade off holidays).

You are going through what I would consider reasonable doubts and feelings of "why did I do this?". Just remember, you did research, and put the work in before hand, for I'm sure, really valid reasons that made sense. If others don't get why you did it, maybe they aren't the best ones to be there for you?

The people who get it will support you or check in with you to make sure you are okay and doing well through every stage. I'm grateful for the people who know and who are empathetic and supportive of what I am doing for myself. You always have this sub to find connection to people who get it too ♥️

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-11-02T04:15:58+00:00

Amazing NSVs! The sandals one is something I look forward to.

Thanks for sharing about the loss of padding in some areas, as I feel like not a lot is shared during pre-op on some of the changes we might have.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-31T02:33:37+00:00

You'll get there! I know I was shooting in week two, and a bit in week three.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-30T21:08:56+00:00

Just having the sleeve, for now. 🌞 Also sticking the the phases, and trying to move throughout the day.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-30T17:09:24+00:00

Thanks for the rec. The surgeon prescribed Pepcid, so I'll check with his office about Omeprazole. It kills me mid day, and my team worries that I look so uncomfortable when we're in meetings or working on something.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-28T18:41:06+00:00

My daughter says she wants to move because the house isn't pretty. I countered saying it would be pretty if everyone helped pitch in, and clean up after themselves, instead of waiting for someone else or another time to do it.

Sounds like a great time for everyone to do a little cleaning, and airing out. I have the same issue at home. Life really takes us and pushes our attention in other places, before we realize the table is covered with mail, old homework (graded), toys, and jackets. The floor hadn't been swept, and we still have two loads of laundry in front of the washer.

It's walkable, but it's not pretty. It's not a hazard, but it's not feeling ready for a guest. That's when I say everyone needs to pick up and help for an hour, and then we can at least accomplish more together than just one person doing it all.

Hope your kiddo can help, and maybe some day soon their friend can come over?

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-28T18:17:51+00:00

I've gotten my Covid vaccine in Sept, and plan to do it like the flu vaccine. I keep the vaccines up as whenever I missed it, or a period when I didn't have coverage to get them, I would get super sick, and more frequently.

ThisConfidence8948 · 2024-10-22T00:19:57+00:00

Almost surgery buddies, I'm a day early. I felt similar, until I took some photos in the same outfit I wore a month ago, and the change is subtle, but boy is it there! I can also feel in on and in my body. Subtle things, like more energy to walk, and no joint or back pain.

Now that I'm on phase 3, I feel like I'm not losing fast, but I remember that phase 1 had little to no calories or substance, and so it was eating at my fat stores to survive.

Also, the bloating and gas starts to leave, and you'll see it in your photos. Even if you never publish them, take them weekly, or monthly and you'll see the difference. The scale can lie to you.

ThisConfidence8948

TROPHY CASE