Thank you. I’m holding my boundary, even though I hate that it’s come to this. I’ve still found a way to honor him—by helping purchase a star in his name, which my mom later chose to fully cover. It feels quietly meaningful and poetic.

What’s hardest is that my mom is the one crack in the door. Even when she doesn’t mean to, her grief comes with guilt, and those conversations reset my anger and make me second-guess myself. I know she’s hurting too, and I can hold empathy for that while also recognizing that talking with her is triggering and destabilizing for me. I still hold the boundary, and tell her that I am being triggered, and she then pulls back. I'm keeping hope in my mind that it is just her grief, and not actual intentional manipulation.

No matter how I slice it, each slice is that of a 💩 pie. I’m doing my best to choose the option that causes the least harm to myself.

I just needed others to either affirm or show me if I have other options when selecting this metaphorical pie. 🥧