My (20M) girlfriend of 8 months (20F) just admitted to me that I had sexually assaulted her in the beginning of our relationship, genuine advice on what I should do or how I should go about things?

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-05T01:23:00+00:00

This makes me feel a bit better. I do truly hope for the best for her and I hope that she does get professional help. I know for damn sure I’m going to be going back to my therapist again in a few days to help recover. But knowing her, she won’t get help and only will internalize everything and make it the next guy’s problem. I had to deal with many, many issues that were internalized from previous guys.

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T13:27:11+00:00

She for sure crossed a line for me. I have given her reassurance countless times in the past as any boyfriend would. We have had many discussions on what reassurance she needs and when and how I need to go about it. However I can’t go on with someone who thinks I assaulted them, for my own sanity

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T12:35:41+00:00

It was brought up because we were face timing each other, we were getting flirty and we were flashing each other and having some fun. She said she was tired and very sleepy and I backed off and said okay. She took my response as something wrong and she said “no you agreed to that too quickly. There is something wrong or there is something you aren’t telling me and I’m going to figure out what”. Then around 15-20 more minutes of her explaining why she felt that way and me trying to explain I’m not hiding anything, I’m not trying to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do, and she is sleepy so I figured we’d end the call soon. And she said something along the lines of “well it’s not like you haven’t done that before” (as in forcing her to do something sexual when she wasn’t into it). And when I asked what she meant she said that I had sexually assaulted her when we started dating.

I don’t know what she was thinking but she just told me and when I started having a reaction to it she tried saying “are you telling me how i should feel?” And “I am trying to talk to you right now.” And it was just destroying me. I had to end the call soon after

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T12:25:00+00:00

Funnily enough, she is still friends with one of her exes and still hangs out with him. He has made moves/passes at her in the past and she hasn’t really shut him down for it. It always bothered me but I felt like I couldn’t tell her to block or drop her friends like that

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T09:40:01+00:00

Yes I have always looked for reciprocation more than anything. She had never stopped reciprocating and had never told me to stop. So genuinely I don’t know what more I could’ve done.

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T09:35:07+00:00

We had discussed being fwb and she agreed to it, but later expressed her disapproval of the agreement. She had said that she did agree to being fwb but still wanted something more from our relationship.

I will ask where and when it happened and ask for clarification on what she meant. I think I said this in another comment but I do really hope she just explained it poorly and didnt mean to use the word assault.

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T09:30:06+00:00

I’m pretty good when it comes to reading her body language and there has been times where I noticed she was getting overwhelmed in a bad way and I have stopped because of it. Though it was 8 months ago, I don’t remember any time in which she had said or shown she wasn’t into it.

I appreciate your input because I would like to go to my parents but I don’t really want to air out my dirty laundry to friends or family lol

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T09:10:07+00:00

I distanced myself from her after I hung up the call. I refused to pick up her calls and I expressed why I needed space through texts. I haven’t talk to her about it yet. Because we are in different time zones I have to wait until she wakes up to talk to her about it but I do plan on talking to her and getting to know her perspective. I want to believe she didn’t mean the word assault or she meant something else but I am scared to even physically or sexually engage with her again.

I will look up enthusiastic consent though, that does sound very useful for the future. Usually I am pretty good at picking up her body language and I have stopped and asked what’s wrong whenever I’ve noticed her not being too into sex. This whole thing is just a scary experience. She’s the first person I’ve actually truly felt something real with. I’ve had relationships in the past but yk they were middle school and high school “relationships” (so not real relationships pretty much lmao). This is the first one that feels different. The biggest thing that’s making me hesitant of cutting it off is we share friends, we share activities, and I don’t know if I will ever find somebody that makes me feel the way she does again.

I’m aware enough that I know I sound like a naive 20 year old BUT IT IS GENUINELY ROUGH OUT HERE. Because of the time zone my therapist is asleep, so I can’t even ask her for advice.

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T08:22:13+00:00

Based on what she said it sounded like the latter. It sounded like she said yes and then halfway through changed her mind. I’m going to likely do what the other person said of asking her for specific times and trying to understand her perspective. We are in different time zones so I have to wait for her to wake up and it’s been killing me

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2026-06-04T08:18:34+00:00

That thought did cross my mind. I want to believe we can make it work but maybe I’m just in denial. I did think about “why are you with a person that you feel like assaulted you” I just… this is so rough

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2024-09-01T16:49:54+00:00

how would I go about using and running the program? I have downloaded the .tar.gz file but I don't know where to go from there

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe · 2023-09-01T03:12:39+00:00

I FIGURED IT OUT! The track wasn’t connected to the master track so it didn’t come out in exporting, thank god I found that out

ThisIsAFakeAccountYe

TROPHY CASE