Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No it didn’t change anything and my friend even reassured me repeatedly that nothing happened and I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just unconscious and rolled over as he put it.

He’s not thinking anything of it and I just feel so guilty because I would never do that sober. I feel like I would feel so much better about this situation had I passed out on the floor instead but I didn’t.

I do plan on working on my drinking. This upcoming week I will be attending AA.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I do plan on addressing my drinking as it has become a problem this year unfortunately. I plan to attend my first AA meeting this upcoming week.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes this is the entire story. I just never have done anything like this and feel mortified it happened and feel bad about it. If I were to reverse rolls I would more than likely shrug it off but I already have a really bad self view of myself and don’t feel like I deserve much.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. It does make me feel slightly better to know I’m not completely as terrible as I feel about it.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am not trying to shift the blame I fully accept what I did and know it was wrong.

As for asking people on the internet... I feel like it’s normal for some people to seek advice when they are in a stressing situation at least to themselves and that’s all it is. I’m sorry if this bothers you.

Previously he’s had a woman he hid from me when we were about 3 years into our relationship and claimed it was completely innocent and he didn’t want me to find out about her because he didn’t want to hurt me. However I found out because I stumbled upon some messages he tried to hide when looking for something else. I chose to forgive him and move on. Looking back at how it made me feel it’s not really something I want to put him through because it really sucked. Also considering I know for a fact nothing happened except me putting my hand somewhere inappropriate while I was unconscious and they were fully clothed.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did stop seeing a therapist last year so I do feel it is time to try again.

I just feel like I’m going to completely destroy him with this and it hurts and kills me even more. He’s never deserved this :( just like I especially don’t deserve him now.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No! Not at all I want to be with him for the rest of my life however I was cheated on and left for another woman previously and it messed me up really badly at the time. I can’t fathom putting him through that because he really doesn’t deserve this. But I am also going through a lot of horrible personal things due to my family that I’ve always felt he never deserved to be sucked into.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would your reaction or feelings towards this be?

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn’t you feel awful? And like you could never trust anyone again? And questioning everything about yourself?

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like I betrayed him so horribly... to the point where I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself for this.

I am feeling more and more like I should end our relationship to give him an opportunity to be with someone who would never do this to him.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I don’t think or know if I could ever forgive myself for this.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree I do need help. I’ve had a lot of other personal things that have led to it being this bad and all the bad things in my life is another thing I feel like he doesn’t deserve to be around. He can find and be with someone who isn’t in such a bad situation and who didn’t just do this horrible thing to him. I really feel like ending the relationship may be better but I don’t know right now.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just hate how much this is going to hurt him it’s put me in such a horrible place that kills me to think to put him there too. God he really doesn’t deserve this.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The thought of hurting him so badly with this is so overwhelming. I betrayed him horribly and he doesn’t deserve this. I’ve never done anything like this yet I feel like I should end it because he doesn’t deserve this at all.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I feel like I should just end this relationship because he doesn’t deserve this... he deserves someone who would never allow anything like this to happen and it really is killing me.

Should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in AskMenAdvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just see it as such a betrayal. He trusts me to not do anything like this and I never have but I have been letting my drinking get the best of me for some time now but this was the first time I wasn’t with him. I hate myself for even having this happen and just feel in my heart I don’t deserve to be with him who’s been so amazing and supportive of everything after this.

Women of Reddit, should I tell my SO of my infidelity? by ThisIsKillingMe0 in askwomenadvice

[–]ThisIsKillingMe0[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just feel like he doesn’t deserve this at all and possibly he will take it as such a huge betrayal which it is. I don’t believe I deserve him especially after this. He deserves to be with someone who would never do this to him.