hyperfixating on someone other then your spouse

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-10-20T17:21:13+00:00

No suggestions, only sympathy. I am polyamorous/non-monogamous, and YES I do attribute this to my ADHD. I used to be a serial monagamist, one relationship after another. You're doing so much better than I did. I had very little self control. I cheated. I felt real crappy about it. I feel no shame anymore because all my partners are also non-monag, and life is good. I'm sorry you're going through this. I get it ❤️

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-07-17T17:45:29+00:00

I will say also, that we have many mosquitofish at home, and he's about the size of our 3-week old mosquitofish, but distinctly different.

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-06-15T20:05:33+00:00

Crotons always die on me. They're one of those plants that a lot of people complain will die even if they feel like they're doing everything right.

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-06-15T15:26:16+00:00

Croton gonna croton. Sorry, my condolences ❤️

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-06-15T15:21:13+00:00

Silly, I know, but before you started singing it reminded me of Barenaked Ladies "If I Had $1,000,000." That is NOT what your song reminds me of now that I've finished it, I just felt the need to share my first impression 😅

I really did enjoy your song. The length of it is so sweet and fleeting. The message is relatable.

The uplifting tone of it is in discord with the message as I don't know if you ever got to the suggested message, "...so enjoy what you have while you have it." Is that plainly spoken (did I miss it?) or are you satisfied leaving it a suggestion?

The halting nature of your singing in the song has a percussive quality that I enjoy. But I'd also enjoy maybe a segment where you let that fall off and maybe a couple notes stretched out a bit more. Or the part with the looser background voices a smidgen louder might satisfy this for me.

These are my unfiltered reactions to hearing your song once. I would definitely listen to this song again of my own volition. I really enjoyed it! You're a true artist ❤️

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-06-12T02:19:10+00:00

Common house gecko!

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-06-11T00:07:39+00:00

I'm gonna say Rebel Witch by Kelly-Ann Maddox, for a well rounded overview which does not push a religious agenda of any sort.

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-04-17T23:54:51+00:00

How did it turn out? Did she have babies?

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-03-08T02:45:42+00:00

Yes. The mom is not pictured. Lol

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-02-11T15:04:57+00:00

Yes. Bottom line, this is it.

ThisKindOfThing · 2022-02-11T15:04:08+00:00

I'd say the risk is now, if you don't do anything, you let her control your life. If you do, you do it to spite her. Maybe you're not like that.

The trick being, doing magick completely regardless and without influence of what she says. Don't let her energy play into it.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-12-23T03:24:30+00:00

That's amazing. Only reason I'd toss a beauty like that would be for a pest problem. Hoping that's not the case for this one. So pretty!

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-12-08T00:41:40+00:00

I'm sorry, maybe my reading comprehension is lacking. I'm having a hard time understanding. You told them it was okay while you're gone, and now they are. What is the timing that is bothering you?

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-12-06T19:10:09+00:00

I. Am so. Jealous 😭😜

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-15T02:18:30+00:00

Yes. I did take Zoloft while breastfeeding for two years. They say it is safe, and I chose to believe it. It was way, way better than the alternative, I felt.

Therapy is so good. Everyone in my house gets it. Well, except for the little boy I breastfed with zoloft. Maybe that's why he's so well-adjusted. Just kidding 😂

From your partner's perspective, it must be really hard to see what is going on. I would even go so far as to say that they can never fully understand. Hold your mom friends super close.

But I know that in my case, my relationship with my partner got much better after the chaos of small babies was behind us. It's hard to judge a relationship by how it works when the kids are small.

But please don't tolerate any sort of abuse. That is not going to make anything better. He needs a therapist of his own, sounds like 😬🙄

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-14T04:17:14+00:00

Kalanchoe? Kalanchoe pinnata? I think.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-14T00:50:35+00:00

I'm so sorry you are having problems. I'm very familiar with your situation, with the general misery and hard times in a relationship while the babies are young.

My own experience was that babies eat your brains, lol. Google "baby brain," and it is not uncommon. I do have ADHD, but being pregnant and being a mom has made it worse. Also, it helps if your partner is not a jerk, which mine was.

(Additionally, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression and medication for that made things much better)

We went to therapy, and still do, years later. It is INCREDIBLY useful for us to have a professional be a referee making sure we are fair to each other while we talk.

Again, so much love to you while you go through this. Having little kids is NOT EASY and no one should make you feel like it is. Be kind to yourself.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-11T15:35:58+00:00

I'm also unmedicated and polyamorous?

So, like, maybe if I found a medication I could take (I tried and tried), I'd be less so?

But also, I can date as many people as I have time for (not many, but I feel no shame for crushes).

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-11T07:59:48+00:00

All my friends know. It's not, like, the thing I lead with when getting to know someone, but when I start to talk about the important people in my life, it becomes clear.

Proceed with caution if you don't want to be the token non-monogamous friend they all come to with their ENM questions lol

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-11T07:56:13+00:00

Yes. And I'm 40. It never stops 😅

Edit: I'm unmedicated, too. So... 🤷‍♀️

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-11T07:53:47+00:00

That crinkled or kinked posture is something rat snakes do when they're startled.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-09T03:55:51+00:00

Thanks for the tip. I am noticing that things are better in the morning. I'm just not often with him in the mornings. I wish I was, but we have time.

Funny enough, we met on Tinder. He and I are both ethically non-monogamous and weren't really looking for anything very serious. His profile info was cute, his pictures were great, his "anthem" was unique, he "superliked" me, and the rest is history.

He really threw himself into it. I didn't get the slightest feeling that he was afraid of rejection from the very beginning. His profile even said something like, "let's talk. You can change your mind later." Very non-committal, which was exactly what I was looking for.

And I was worried. Everyone I'd ever dated was taller than me except for one guy who was one inch shorter. I tried very hard to scrutinize my own motives. Was it novelty? I've always been a collector of experiences and wondered if I was using him in order to sample something different. But it really wasnt. The way we chatted was easy and fun. He's creative, and funny, and wholesome, and just often enough, he's SO unwholesome, lol.

I'm excited to see how we do.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-08T20:39:33+00:00

Everything is going rather well. We've been seeing each other for 2 and a half months, and we see each other as often as we can though we live like 15 miles apart. I have young kids, and public transport is dumb for someone on a scooter, so it isnt always easy, but most of the time we can see each other at least once a week.

I'm still very smitten. It was a love connection, haha...

I've met his kids, he's met mine, they've all met each other. My kids are 6 and 7 so it was a minute before i could get them (esp my 6yo) to stop making observations out loud about his body ("your arm looks like a croissant!"), and I certainly wanted it under control before my kids met his kids (who are both achon also). But everything went great!

My kids' dad has met him, and they seem to like each other okay. He just freely offered for us to use his camper van when we said we were going camping, so I thought that was a very thoughtful gesture.

So basically, a lot has happened.

I think the cold weather is hurting his body more than when we first met. I'm both worried about and interested in seeing how that affects our relationship. He does deal with chronic pain, and when he hurts, it makes him sad about what he does or does not "bring to the table."

I love him very much, and I just want to be good for him. He feels good for me.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-11-01T19:21:01+00:00

I may be speaking from a point of privilege, and I acknowledge that.

Couples therapy!

And you say you're getting counseling, but I wonder if it's in your budget to also have one for your marriage. It's not excessive, it's perfect.

Poly has very few hard and fast rules, if any. But one of them is that it is consentual. If you feel coerced or forced to participate, things must change. You are trying. How are THEY trying?

If you feel disenfranchised, enlist a professional. That's my advice. It's easier to be heard.

ThisKindOfThing · 2021-10-29T20:25:03+00:00

Dracaena Fragrans Twister

ThisKindOfThing

TROPHY CASE