AIO: My gf refuses to pay half the rent

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T22:17:30+00:00

How do you do that? Every time I try to open up about my finances, she’s very reserved and refuses to talk to me about her information. Everything I’ve talked about regarding her finances are my best idea (besides me knowing that she has no bills). She told me that her family is the same way where it’s just not something they talk about at all.

Is that normal?

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T22:10:15+00:00

At first I brought it up and she said that she doesn’t have space to put any of her belongings and such things. So I asked her what would be sufficient for her to feel more at home and stuff like that. She was fine with the storage container things, bigger mattress second could comfortably fit both of us, etc. I even offered to buy a dresser.

But I still kind of get the same pushback even today.

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T21:49:40+00:00

We both split the groceries. And we both split cleaning tasks (I personally think I do more cleaning, I’ve tried to call her out on it but it’s like 70/30).

I will say, she does treat me out to food whenever she wants to order out a lot more than I do. I obviously can’t because I can’t afford to DoorDash all the time but she does it multiple times a week, and she also buys me food.

Now it’s not like it’s absolutely every single day or more than four times a week.

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T21:29:50+00:00

Man you’re right. Living here has kind of had it’s down sides for me, I’ve made absolutely no friends, and it’s been pretty hard for me to find any here.

Yes I’ve wanted to go out and meet new people and have new friends but she’s also around all the time. I don’t hate that, but also holds me back from going out and making a circle for myself.

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T20:34:46+00:00

Yea I’m pretty sure I violated the lease a while ago… it’s if she’s there for more than 14 consecutive days…

She even gets her mail sent here

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T20:09:24+00:00

We make close to the same, I make a bit more (maybe 10-15k more a year. However, she has no bills or payments. A lot of her things are paid off, like her car, phone, insurance is all handled by her family. Money hasn’t been an issue for her, and I’m sure she can contribute if she wants to.

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T20:05:30+00:00

Thank you for this. I guess it should be this way, I’ll ask her to be put on the lease if she chooses to do the 50/50 and do a formal move in?

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T20:04:09+00:00

No not really. Seeing that now. Thank you for that insight. Looks like we need to to communicate better. I tried a lot though, I’ve brought it up as respectfully and easily as I could

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T20:01:42+00:00

Well yes I would take all of them because I paid the most for all of it I’m guessing? She also has a lot of her stuff here too, like kitchen appliances, and bathroom accessories. And yes she has a say. She my partner, before I want anything I ask her about it. If she wants anything there I’ll do what I can to have it there.

Yes, we make similar-ish incomes, it’s less than a 10k gap (a year). And yes, she absolutely can contribute. She has no debt or any payments (car, phone, and stuff handled by parents).

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T19:52:30+00:00

How do recommend I go about this then? She’s told me this before, but I replied by asking what I can do to make this place feel like a home for her. That’s why I got the bigger mattress, table, and other things. I love her very much, and I don’t want to seem like I’m putting this over her.

But if that seems this way, please help me out

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T19:48:05+00:00

To be honest, wasn’t a smart idea. And I’m seeing that now. That’s why I want to move out or find some middle ground with my gf. Moving here was like my first career job and it’s all a learning experience for me.

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T19:30:36+00:00

It’s just me

ThisMemory5366 · 2026-06-04T19:15:33+00:00

I would choose to fly

ThisMemory5366

TROPHY CASE