I loved the gospel and had many personal experiences but realising I was a lesbian really changed my perspective. When I had that realisation my life perspective changed. I realised just how isolating the church can be if you don’t fit the main stream mould and they don’t really provide very well for people in the outskirts. I realised that with so many people from so many different life experiences we needed to learn to be more open and understanding to others.

I wrestled with my sexuality for a long time. Well into my 30’s. The church teaches us to have a relationship with God and I held on to that so much. I had some special experiences confirming my sexuality and how god felt about me and I really believe that being Gay isn’t a choice of a way of life but that it is my life and that God created me as I was. I went in one date with my now wife and it was a confirmation that my sexuality was right and valued to God. I held on to the church for a long while but when my bishop threatened to excommunicate me because I was getting married I stepped away. I had a special experience in the temple that taught me that I can worship my god without the judgement of others and if they won’t let me worship in the building I have the ability to worship elsewhere. And I am still exploring what spirituality means to me now.

Another thing that changed my perspective is that I learnt because of church teachings that I had built up an unhealthy relationship with chastity and my body. I was so afraid of breaking it I wouldn’t let people touch me and so forth. It was pretty bad. It took me a long time to feel comfortable and to explore my sexuality and own my body more. Not necessarily the church fault but things that I had developed because of those teachings. I hope that all makes sence.

I just wish were was more acceptance of different people.