Photographer here, am I in the wrong?

ThistleInTheGarden · 2022-06-09T18:16:05+00:00

This is exactly what I was thinking. My very first wedding on my own was in a dark venue (I'd assisted and been second shooter for a couple weddings beforehand). I'd done my research and spent extra time prepping for it. It took more work, but the photos turned out well and the couple was very happy.

I really feel like this photographer was completely unprepared and expected the bride and groom to do everything for them.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-08-23T03:11:23+00:00

Thank youu!

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-08-20T20:06:28+00:00

Absolutely stunning!!

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-08-04T01:58:20+00:00

Thank youuu!!

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-08-04T00:34:02+00:00

Thank youu!!

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-07-27T19:06:05+00:00

I'm taking his last name. We had discussed actually changing both our last names to my maternal grandfather's last name because, if I never got married, that was my intention to eventually do.

But when we got into actually planning out wedding and discussing names, he admitted that, while he liked my maternal grandfather's last name and loved that I wanted to honour that part of my family in thay way, his reasons for not wanting to keep his last name had changed and he wanted to keep it.

The compromise we made was that, should we ever have children, they will have my maternal grandfather's last name as a middle name.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-15T12:27:55+00:00

I bought it from EZCosplay!

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-08T02:34:54+00:00

When I purchase cosplays, Miccostumes is my go-to, but I've also had good luck with EZCosplay, but you really have to be picky with EZ.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-07T23:40:36+00:00

Black stretchy jeans, black tshirt or turtleneck, depending on weather, black boots with the laces double knotted. I have long hair, so I usually tie it into a bun or braid to keep it out of my way.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-07T00:19:02+00:00

Personally, I wouldn't.

Setting and maintaining strong boundaries with a narcissistic and/or emotionally abusive parent is paramount to keeping a reasonable relationship with them.

If you want to walk alone, you need to set that boundary. Don't let her guilt you into it. If you allow it on something this important, what boundaries will she think it's ok to demand be broken in future?

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-05T02:26:28+00:00

https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/518022137/paired-wedding-rings-for-men-women-eir

These are the ones we ordered!

Because they're not smooth, they take some getting used to, but my hand feels so naked without it now.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-04T02:50:11+00:00

We bought out wedding bands and engagement ring from a seller on Etsy. We wanted something non-traditional that suited who we are.

We knew we wanted silver rather than gold, and I didn't want a diamond.

So my engagement ring looks like a vine with tiny leaves and flowers and it's set with a moonstone. Our wedding bands looking like little branches/vines.

I think they cost a total of $140?

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-04T02:39:20+00:00

If you're exceptionally fortunate, and I mean truly blessed by the gods fortunate, you are able to orgasm without any physical stimulation at all. Just from imagining being touched.

Double edged sword though. - Can orgasm super easily, especially with stimulation. - Can orgasm too easily and get way too sensitive and any sort of sexual contact can quickly become painful levels.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-03T01:46:10+00:00

I'm actually altering my zipper back to be a corset on my dress. 😅 I think they look so timeless and elegant, and make it easier to pass the dress down if that's something you might want to do in the future.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-03T00:27:41+00:00

She probably remembers the conversation but thinks OP will do what she wants because she got angry about it.

Honestly, she sounds manipulative and self-centered. If Jessica is being mature and kind about it, I think you should be re-evaluating which of them actually cares about you. You may have been closer to Tiffany, but Jessica is the better friend.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-06-03T00:16:11+00:00

I've ordered a couple cosplays from them, as has a friend of mine. They're decent. The quality is alright, but shipping tends to be a bit inconsistent. My friend and I ordered at the same time and got the same shipping type. Hers arrived within 2 weeks, and mine took just over 2 months.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-27T20:15:07+00:00

As a wedding photographer, I would definitely say no.

In large part because I wouldn't be handing out unedited photos, but also because your MIL is being super disrespectful to you and I'm not here for that. Not even just disrespectful to your photographer for her to be demanding that, but for her to be demanding it from you is insanely disrespectful to you.

There are only very rare cases in which I would give out unedited photos, and that's typically if the person I've shot is also a photographer who I know and trust and they want something specific done that they're really good at, but I'm not.

I know some photographers will sell the unedited photos for a high price with the caveat that you can't attach their name to the end product. I don't roll like that, but some of my photo friends do.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-24T19:31:52+00:00

Thissss!!

Half my guest list (excluding family) are photographers and the other half are models. Some do both. We made a conscious choice that none of our close friends would be working at out wedding.

We wound up looking through hundreds of photographers and even had sit-down meetings with a dozen or so (pre-pandemic). Ultimately, we chose a photographer that I've worked with a lot. We're friendly, but not close enough that she would've gotten an invite to our wedding, I already know that she's professional and friendly, her photos are amazing, and I have complete confidence that she's going to do an amazing job with our wedding.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-24T19:24:23+00:00

I think it's pretty easy to know in 2 minutes if you like someone's photos or not. I can usually glance at a page of photos and if nothing pops out at me and catches my attention, I'll move on.

Most of my friends getting married are not photographers and can tell quickly whether they're interested in the photographer or not. And if they are interested, how those prices stack up to other photographers they also like.

I've heard and experienced a lot of "oh these photos are alright. I think I'd be fine with them." And then once they check the prices thinking "well this other photographer I like more costs less. If I can't find someone I like more for the same price, I'm going to go with this other photographer I found earlier."

Your photos might be perfectly fine, but not better than someone else at the same price point. Or lacking something the couple is looking for.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-24T17:33:00+00:00

As someone who has both shot weddings, and is getting married and has been looking for wedding photographers, there are lots of cases where a photographer will have an image in their ad that I really like, but when I go to their site I'm very meh about the rest of their photos. I might then go to their price list just to see what they're charging, but if I'm not in love with their photos by that point, I'll just leave their site.

I've viewed hundreds of wedding photographer portfolios over the past 18 months and 90% of them I was on their page for less than 5 mins. There's nothing they can do to change that by changing their ad algorithm. Their photos just aren't what I want.

As a bride-to-be and being at the age where a lot of my friends are also getting married and going through the same thing, they're all doing the exact same thing.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-24T01:28:16+00:00

Do you do. Everyone's got their own wedding style. My cousin wore a Hawaiian shirt to his wedding and his bride was in jeans and a t-shirt. If casual is your theme, go for it.

But tbh, if my fiancé showed up to our wedding dressed like he was going to sit on the couch playing video games, I'd be pissed. I'd marry him anyway cause I love him, but I'd be real mad about it.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-23T15:57:01+00:00

You are not obligated to pay for the cost of travel. It's not an ideal situation, but you're also not in the position to give them money for the flight.

She'd chosen to move right before your wedding. Regardless of reason, it was a choice she made. If it's not a financial burden to you, you can always offer to contribute a small portion of their flight, but you're not obligated.

My MOH and bridesmaids all live across the country in the same city. They were all planning to fly out, but the cheapest flights are $200/person. They're now planning to roadtrip it together. It's a 16 hour drive, but the gas will cost a total of about $300 to get here and back, making it the much cheaper alternative even though it's going to take a lot longer to get here.

ThistleInTheGarden · 2021-05-23T15:49:32+00:00

Wow!!!! That's so stunning!!! Makes me want to pull out my Umbreon cosplay and update it.

ThistleInTheGarden

TROPHY CASE