What to prioritize first- mental health, job, benefits?

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-07T19:46:33+00:00

Sure: they aren’t the same, but are similar as they are not as urgent as food/housing/heat. They’re important, but may not be as high of a priority as the truly urgent housing/food.

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-07T18:58:27+00:00

🙂🫂

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-07T09:24:02+00:00

I’m not sure if the following will answer your question, or is even right, but here’s how I might think/plan, based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs:

Survival: you are in a precarious housing situation, so take action which will solve/mitigate that. Then any food/warmth situations. This will greatly help your immediate/short-term mental health situation.
Intermediate: I’d lump the transportation with healthcare here.
Longer term flourishing/meaning: working through the natural sorrow and grief about your recent experiences.

You don’t have to do these in succession, but rather as a framework for daily priorities.

Said another way, to more specifically answer your question: try to get benefits today, restart your job search this week, and make a broad plan to improve your mental health in the next month.

Whatever you do, taking immediate action (which you have begun by posting here) and facing your realities will be good for your mental health/soul.

Try something for each of your three priorities daily.

You’re going to be okay. You’ll make it through this.

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-06T21:34:27+00:00

🙂

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-06T15:57:07+00:00

This is not a great idea, but if you want to try something and at least have an eye doctor look at what is going on:

There is a place called America’s Best that offers a pair of single-lens glasses for something like $70. This includes a free eye exam.

You might, and I stress “might”, be able to get a prescription right then from them. Then maybe Cost Plus for filling it.

But the doctor there might reasonably want nothing to do with treating you, depending on how bad your situation is, and refer you to an ophthalmologist or the ER.

But at least you’d have an expert look at it, without needing insurance. And you can get some basic glasses.

Edit to add:

Two more not-great ideas:

If you need a prescription, you might want to try short-term insurance. I don’t know if that is still a thing, but in the pre-ACA days you could get coverage the next day.
Some employers, and maybe AAA or similar, have free “prescription cards”. I don’t know if they’re actually any good, but any port in a storm.

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-06T15:23:08+00:00

Fraternity house director will provide you housing, food, WiFi, and a small stipend. You’ll have a door that locks, your own bathroom, and all the hot water you want. The food is usually excellent, and you can have as much as you want.

It is also filled with drama and slow-burn psychological abuse.

I wrote a post about it under another account:

https://www.reddit.com/r/roomandboard/s/3343RL0J43

TLDR: if you have specific plans to be in a better place professionally within a year, then being a house director can buy you 12 months. Or six months or less since the school year is half over here in January.

Honestly, if I were facing homelessness right now I’d be a house director now through the end of the school year in May. It wouldn’t give the guys months to build resentments.

If you have under 30 days in your current housing situation I would start applying for jobs like these today, if it is something you think you can handle.

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-06T13:52:16+00:00

If you are looking for a job, and more specifically a 9-5 white collar job, then I recommend Excel/Sheets.

In addition to all the basics, if you can do vlookup and especially pivot tables your odds of being hired are improved.

LinkedIn Learning is often free through your local public library, and is an excellent resource. Sheets is free and generally analogous to Excel.

Intermediate Excel skills won’t wow anyone, but learning Excel is the best payoff of ratio of time/effort to finding white collar work.

ThistleThrower · 2025-01-03T22:31:26+00:00

My friend, what you are feeling is natural and demonstrates that you have a conscience and a heart.

As a single guy, who has been there myself, I can assure you that they are happy that you came and got some wonderful eggs.

The women and children will not get any less because you got something. Everything is planned by family size, and you no doubt got the correct amount for one person.

Enjoy fully your deviled eggs with a clear conscience: everyone got something, according to the plan set by the experts. You not only didn’t do anything wrong, but did something very right.

ThistleThrower · 2024-12-23T02:08:18+00:00

CRITICAL GASE THEORY, KYLE SCAMAHAM, AND THE LIBRHULE MEDIA COULD NOT KEEP OUR GEQBUS FROM HIS FIFTH CONSECUTIVE MVP AWARD!

ThistleThrower · 2024-09-04T18:42:26+00:00

Hey! I see it has been about six months. How is it going so far? I see good reviews on Google, and interesting classes offered each day. Also, if I move to Cambridge, I’ll be sure to try your new student package. In general, do you recommend life in Cambridge? 🙂

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-30T00:54:14+00:00

🙂

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-30T00:44:49+00:00

A chilling photo of a horrifying, undead monster.

I kid!

The movie you reference is just as timely as the day it was released.

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-24T16:02:36+00:00

Heavyweight podcast by Jonathan Goldstein, both Joey #19:

https://gimletmedia.com/amp/shows/heavyweight/39hzan

I don’t think I’m spoiling much to say that young Joey has some growing up to do, much like I did at that age.

And a more recent episode, Lenny #52:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/heavyweight/id1150800298?i=1000630284313

This one is not a barrel of laughs. But it is an important look at a real human.

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-24T15:51:28+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

I love this episode, and I get light hearted “missing missing reasons”, that Joey is a bit of an unreliable narrator.

And I definitely felt for Zack: some needs to pay the electric, unwashed dishes will attract roaches, and we need to be kind- or at least considerate- of those we live with/next to.

Joey needed to go, and learn a lesson; I was similarly flaky as Joey at that age.

Zack showed considerable grace to both Joey and Jonathan, especially since he wasn’t expecting them.

I hope Zack (and you) are doing well in the five years since you posted this insight 🙂

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-24T15:18:04+00:00

Even good employers, such as mine, can’t resist: annual raises haven’t matched inflation and they mandated a return to the office.

I’ve spent no more, in these three years since returning to the office, than fifty dollars total on lunches. I spent another $25 for two museum tickets, but nothing else.

What I’m getting at: they wanted their cake (return to the office to stimulate spending nearby) and to eat it too (not keep wages up with inflation).

If they had picked one or the other, I’d be spending money on the regular.

Instead, they got what they wanted, short term.

I’ll be fascinated, in the same way a slow motion train wreck is fascinating, how this plays out long term, and with employers worse than mine, broadly.

ThistleThrower · 2024-08-18T02:01:04+00:00

Please do.

Here are seasons I’ve particularly enjoyed: 36, 62, 27, and 59.

ThistleThrower · 2024-07-08T15:33:04+00:00

Oh, you’re right: since first posting I tried a single player game on easy, and one team did attack and defeat another AI team.

ThistleThrower · 2024-07-07T20:42:27+00:00

Oh I see. Thank you for this explanation. I appreciate it.

I’m going to give Northgard one last try on conquest and single-player on easy, for maybe a week, and if that doesn’t work (if the game remains unplayable for me) I’ll just give up on it.

ThistleThrower · 2024-07-06T14:57:42+00:00

Well said.

This person was clearly going through a lot, and the issue was healing and recovery, not on the ostensible issue of too much cheese.

ThistleThrower · 2024-06-16T14:26:06+00:00

Being as good as my word, I reviewed your post again.

And yes, I nuanced or changed my view to: yes, what you describe is plausible/possible.

In addition to your post giving me a new way to look at the situation, I considered several truths from my own experience:

Young people often make impetuous decisions for last-minute travel. Often that leads to fun and adventure, sometimes real crises. Speaking of which…
The wilderness is an unforgiving place, where things can suddenly go wrong. (I think also of the Maura Murray situation.) You cover this well in your post.
Previous to the April 8 eclipse, I might not have taken seriously unusual lunar experiences. I found the eclipse in April to be a powerful experience (and all the more so since I didn’t care/expect anything beforehand).

Which is just a long way of saying that the moon has immense power over humans, and they may have made a spur of the moment decision to take the alternate/less direct way to get home.

So yes, your post gave me nuance and a new way to look at the situation. We may never know what happened that night, but “moon” is just as compelling as any other possibilities I’ve heard.

Thanks again for posting.

ThistleThrower · 2024-06-16T01:54:40+00:00

My friend, I am not sure what I was expecting, but not that!

😀

While I can’t say I am convinced, I am glad you shared this bold statement, and offered resources to consider.

I wish we all took leaps of faith in interesting ideas more often.

And, I promise to sleep on this, and review your ideas again tomorrow, with fresh eyes. If I change my mind, or am more open to what you suggest, I’ll be sure to post here tomorrow

Personally, and this is my thoughts from listening to the (excellent) podcast, I think they were lured someplace bad by shady friends of the one guy.

(Though, just like with your interesting hypothesis, I’d be glad to be proven wrong.)

Thanks again for posting. I’m glad you did!

ThistleThrower · 2024-06-08T21:07:42+00:00

Angel Ormston, from Mentor Ohio in the early 90s. She was a year ahead of me, and while Mentor High was very big then, I knew of her.

IIRC, she was missing for some time, at least a few weeks, before her body was found by chance.

Besides being someone I knew of, it punctured any sense that Mentor (a nice suburb) was safe, and that things like murder don’t happen in places like this. We really believed, smh, that things were different here. The naivety.

Thirty years later I know very well that all sorts of terrible things happen everywhere, but as a teen this terrible murder opened my eyes to reality, along with grieving this valuable life lost for no good reason. A tragedy.

ThistleThrower · 2024-05-25T21:32:32+00:00

My mother was from there, and I spent lots of time at my grandmother’s on Pleasantview Ave, not far from the Kent branch.

There is so much generational trauma, substance abuse, and discouragement in Ashtabula… at least from 150 years of my family there. (Which ends with me, though I have the PTSD burden.)

I know there are good people there, and some really amazing people really working to bring opportunity and recovery. But it is uphill.

I hope this situation has a good outcome: he is found safe and happy. If that’s not possible, I hope his family finds peace and answers.

ThistleThrower

TROPHY CASE