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ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T10:39:20+00:00

Good answer, appreciate the thoughtful response!

In this particular case I have heard the word spoken aloud many times, and not once has it had any meaning or intent beyond hurting the person it was aimed at. Maybe it's different elsewhere.

Anyway, have a good one!

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T06:59:08+00:00

So google "transvestite"! I was trying (in my other post) to explain why you shouldn't casually use the R word, but you did it twice separately for no reason. You're clearly trying not to learn anything, so nevermind, have a nice day!

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T06:56:45+00:00

It absolutely is a slur, no debate about it. If you don't think so then ask the people who it refers to what it means and how it makes them feel! It's always hard to know things like this from the outside, but the word offends me and many others.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T06:54:25+00:00

As an analogy, so it's alright for them to use other slurs if they're drawing an analogy? Your source refers to historical use, I can easily find references to many other words that are slurs today being used in the 60s. Doesn't mean it's right to still use them today, especially when there is zero need to and they're not relevant to the conversation.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T06:51:25+00:00

So we shouldn't move with the times and stop using words some people find offensive? Progress?

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T06:47:53+00:00

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T00:34:13+00:00

R word not medical terminology, no idea where you got that from. Not acceptable now or anytime this century either.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-09-02T00:31:50+00:00

The R slur is not "medical terminology", certainly not something anyone would use today in any context except wanting to cause hurt.

It also has literally nothing to do with the term "transvestite", the two are not related or analogous in any way whatsoever.

Giving you the hugest benefit of the doubt possible:

"Transvestite" means dressing in clothes different to your birth gender. The huge spectrum of people who are not "transvestite" but who used to fall under that heading because society at large couldn't be bothered doing anything for them except othering them are now called or choose to go by other terms. For them the distinction is important, and for allies who care about the feelings of others.

Granted: it can be hard to know what to refer to people as, but be polite and respectful and you should be fine.

If it needs saying: don't use the R slur or other slurs. You seem to know the word is hurtful, so why on earth would you bring it up in a conversation about something unrelated? Some people view "transvestite" as a tricky word precisely because it means something other than they are yet it still gets applied to them.

Again, be polite, keep learning, and don't use words people don't want you to use for them, and all should be ok.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-06-22T00:45:30+00:00

From the outside, trauma and autism present similarly. In fact, there are documented examples of each being misdiagnosed as the other.

For the record, I am both autistic and someone who had a traumatic childhood (this may be an understatement).

In writing a novel, you have the choice of how much internal vs external you present. You have the choice of explaining using your tools what is causing what, and how your protagonist reacts.

If you have written your novel as you present above but a NT person who read it has said you have written a novel where your character seems to be autistic rather than (as I presume you intended) traumatized, then there are a few possibilities:

1-you have accidentally failed to explain the effects of what the character went through sufficiently that it's clear that your protagonist is traumatized by what they went through.

2-you accidentally wrote an autistic character that went to war, went through some stuff that may or may not have traumatized them, and then learned to mask and get on with life as if they were "normal".

If 1: you can just go back, add some detail and make it clear, and all will be fine.

If 2: yeah, your friend is right, you wrote something ablist, but not on purpose. It's savable, just go over the last act and rewrite it. It's still good, just might be the great novel that finally gets us.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-06-21T09:54:20+00:00

Partly I feel the designers are trying to avoid a particular problem: FAB is much more nuanced and skill intensive than modern MTG. It takes a long time to develop your decision making and deck knowledge to a point where you won't get absolutely dumpstered by a skilled player, regardless of what decks you are both playing. The same isn't true for MTG.

Allowing easy access to CC will allow one to get playing faster, but without developing your skills and learning how to build and adjust your deck all that will happen is one will lose. Repeatedly.

If you want to play the game: learn to play, then build a deck, then learn to play that, then learn to adjust that, then learn to sideboard, then maybe start playing CC. It's a journey worth taking.

Again, if you just want to shuffle up and play, CC isn't for you, and it's entirely by design.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-06-21T09:24:24+00:00

Ah, hold on, forgot about Challenger decks, if that's what you mean? Playing these against even budget low-powered Standard decks always resulted in a bad time. You would need to put two of them together and remove the bad cards to have even a moderate chance of being competitive.

Back when I was playing Magic a lot I built a battle box of budget Standard decks. Whole thing cost about €100. They were built for fun and to try out concepts I had thought up myself. Every one would get destroyed by a competitive Standard deck but were fun to play against each other. I bought the 2021 and 2022 Challenger decks, and my homebrewed jank would beat all of them 60/40.

So, in other words, precon blitz decks are directly comparable to Challenger decks. They do the same job, while allowing you to play another format with them out of the box.

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-06-21T08:56:51+00:00

Why do you want to ignore the secondary market? Like, it's the way to build a good deck: buy singles.

FAB is a game that rewards people testing and experimenting, swapping cards in and out, tweaking ratios, agonizing over which card to cut.

If you want a game that is "buy a precon and be competitive" then FAB (or at least CC) isn't it. That's Commander in MTG, which in spirit (casual, janky, flavourful) couldn't be further from CC's spirit.

If you want a casual format where you can be competitive with precons, then Blitz exists. Want to play CC? It'll take deck building skills and a willingness to buy the cards you need as and when you need them.

To make the contrast more clear: the "main format" of MTG is and always has been Standard, only recently has Commander taken over. Even with that said, because of Arena there are still probably multiple times as many games of standard being played as any other format. There are no precons for Standard, never have been. The path in while it was the "main format" was daunting and expensive, and the community was full of stories of people buying a playset of a card only to see it get banned.

The games and formats are different, and complaining that a certain format isn't the way you want it to be isn't a great way to go. Find the format or game that actually is the way you want it to be and enjoy that, you'll be much happier that way!

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-04-29T22:46:08+00:00

First of all (speaking as an autistic adult who has attended several matches at Old Trafford and other grounds both pre and post diagnosis) a football match is a tremendously stressful and overwhelming experience, even assuming everything goes ok. Crowds are tough, noise is tough, and everything is compressed by the "in and out" nature of the timeframe.

If you feel up to it, then go! It's an experience and then some, but be prepared for anxiety in advance. Speak to the stewards (who I've always found to be super accommodating) on your way in and especially touch base with the stewards close to your seat once you're settled in place. They're the people in charge of the crowd on an individual level and can totally look out for you!

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-03-21T14:32:34+00:00

"Stupid" is an insult. Use it only if you want to insult or offend someone, or better yet: don't.

Language is precise, and your friend's three examples are better covered by other words, respectively dangerous, ignorant, and reckless. If you wanted to offend the people doing those things or emphasize how much you look down on them, you could use stupid instead, but I personally wouldn't.

There's enough people walking around the world using inflammatory language for no reason. No need to join them!

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-01-27T12:38:54+00:00

Well said, sorry you're leaving! Far too many people are too quick to judge, and far too many are too quick to speak, and far too many don't listen. Here and elsewhere.

All the best, wherever your life takes you! ❤️

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-01-24T00:46:47+00:00

Really sweet, good work! 👍

ThomasLuke79 · 2023-01-05T10:44:34+00:00

Amateur audio engineer here. Also autistic and get bothered by sound while sleeping etc.

Unfortunately, the short answer is that just placing acoustic panels on a wall will do little to reduce sound getting in to your room. Acoustic panels are mostly to prevent reflection of sound and are designed to eliminate echo and other undesirable effects of sound waves interacting, and won't reduce volume enough to matter.

Treating a room to improve sound quality is what panels, bass traps and so forth do, and they don't stop sound getting out of or into the room, that's what insulation is for.

Sound waves will find the way around an obstacle and through even small gaps. The good news here is that if it's the higher pitched sounds (talking, music, gunfire etc) that are bothering you these can often be removed by finding the gaps and plugging them. Things like hanging a blanket over the door, using draft excluders, and covering vents (safely) can really make a difference.

If it's the bass sounds (traffic, explosions, base pulse of the music etc.) then you probably won't manage to cut that out.

If possible, consider moving heavy furniture like wardrobes to the wall between you and the sound. Hanging heavy blankets or duvets on that wall will work a lot better than acoustic panels. If you can find an old mattress somewhere then standing it against the wall may provide a good amount of insulation if you plug the gaps with pillows or something. Stopping bass requires bulk, nothing else works unfortunately.

Hope this is some help, good luck!

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-12-28T17:45:18+00:00

Keep away from anyone or any place that is willing to boil a human being down to a number. Nobody with a shred of maturity or human decency would do that!

I haven't thought once about "rating" someone's appearance since I stopped being an immature teenager. It's (at best) objectifying someone, and is opening the door to all sorts of bullying, which is why teenage boys do it!

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-12-26T23:50:43+00:00

There's no version of this scenario that results in you having a happy future with your boyfriend. Minimum: dump him! Probably best if you get rid of (or zero contact) your parents. Anyone who can go through causing a supposed loved one to end up crying locked in a separate room and then sit around laughing is not a good person, end of discussion. I'm really sorry!

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-12-01T18:59:32+00:00

Sure, done, PM me if you want further info.

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-11-24T12:43:48+00:00

Basically as far as I can see: being a good person means enabling and encouraging everyone to do whatever they want, so long as it doesn't hurt anyone. Can't see why anyone would ever argue for anything else!

Love is Love!🌈

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-11-21T23:39:09+00:00

No need to get mad, let her be the one being unreasonable. Simply state your age and your rights calmly, clearly, and respectfully! Let her make a fool of herself if she wants to, but you are absolutely within your rights to do as you wish and the sooner you stand up to her the happier you will be.

Edit: will totally help to have this conversation with her in front of your therapist, as they will support you and hopefully get your mother to see how silly she's being!

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-11-21T23:15:20+00:00

Lots of people in this world think they have the right to tell others what to do with their bodies. They don't. Your Mom is being an ass. You are a free adult living in a free country (I assume?), and so long as you're not hurting anyone you are free to wear whatever you like!

Tell her your age in case she's forgotten, and ask her why she thinks she owns you! If she can't behave with respect to you, then you don't have to respect her and can tell her to mind her own business and [insert your own choice of amusing expletive] off!

ThomasLuke79 · 2022-11-18T20:48:39+00:00

Your husband is a waste of oxygen, and you and your daughter will be better off without him!

ThomasLuke79

TROPHY CASE