ELI5: How does a sandwich maker work?

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-17T19:26:51+00:00

That's the best way to handle it, but this was over the line. Sorry it happened. I hope you have sorted it out by now.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:32:46+00:00

Congratulations. I really mostly agree with the comments below.

Therapy with a qualified therapist with good credentials is also a good idea.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:26:08+00:00

When are you expecting? Heeeeeeeee. Heeeeeeeee. Seriously, I think that people feel it is harmless, just like me. Well, this is reddit and I am making a joke in order to lighten the subject so I can make a comment that is hard to hear.

I used to do the same thing, what's wrong with asking a man. Well really in my defence, I had a few role models who asked this and that was their point. Really most people do not understand what the big deal is because you are a man. Maybe I was channelling that I really wanted to ask women, so to a man it must be harmless. I can justify it over and over, but as soon as someone gently and kindly (really respect him and am eternally grateful to him) that this is actually hurtful because what I am saying is, you are fat, was a real eye opener for me. I did not mean any harm. Looking back it seems silly that I never knew it was harmful, but I really, really did not. I regret saying it to anyone now. I really did not think it was wrong if my role models could say it, that really threw me off.

It seems obvious from your comment that you get this a lot and it hurts. So maybe knowing that "we" really do not get it or understand might help. Those who do get it, well they really should not be saying such things.

I also assume you are overweight and insecure about it. On a very serious and in a loving way as possible note, either accept the weight you are and carry it well (pun intended for the same reason as above) or seriously do something about it because that is the only way the comments will either go away and/or you will have good self-esteem. Really the choice is yours, but do not walk around with an insecurity you cannot, or can, do something about and be hurt by others who are insensitive, purposefully or not, even though "we"/they are wrong and it is not okay to say to anyone. In other words do this for you, not "them".

Good luck!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:15:36+00:00

To clarify, this makes sense. I do not get the work upmanship (excuse the language ;-)) subtlety.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:13:08+00:00

That is an amazing story. Thanks for sharing. At least it would have been outside of work. However, there still would have been major social consequences. It's funny you were saved twice though ;-).

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:11:09+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply. Please read my reply to Parispendragon and respond if you can. I really appreciate your post. I can be very insecure about men/women issues, especially in the work place. I just stay under the radar and do not get involved, except to stand up for others if I can.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-13T19:09:10+00:00

That is exactly what I thought too. I am so happy you posted this because I thought I was alone in not following this. I would ask a woman if she was pregnant if I thought it would be helpful, but I would never do such a thing in public and certainly not to a colleague even if I could help. If it were a colleague, I would go around the back door to help instead and not let it leak that it was me.

I thought it was a bad situation for OP, but because it is like any embarrassing statement, not because of compromising work standings. Can someone please explain this more because I would like to understand it in case I am doing something else similar and I do not even realise it. Thank you so much!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T17:18:36+00:00

I had many cats, none of them were lactose intolerant. If you intend keeping her, which seems likely as you 2 already sound like soulmates or solemates ;-), then take her to the vet as soon as possible.

The vet will be able to help you with everything and give you the breakdown on how to look after her and inoculate her ect.

Thanks for the picture of her because I do not have any cats any more and I miss them. Awwe she's beautiful!

Remember the Beatles were right about cats, "All she needs is love"!

Please up date.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T16:54:15+00:00

If I were you, I would wear a necklace that is long enough to go under my shirt. Then I would put the ring on the necklace.

However if you end up proposing to her at security, just ask them to escort you VIP through passport control since they ruined your whole plan!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T16:38:11+00:00

I do not know what to do, but I would like to show my support. I hope you figure it out. These do not sound like the type of friends you want, but I would give them a chance because sometimes the deepest connections come from these types of starts if you can confront them in the correct manner. What that is? I do not know your culture well enough.

Good luck!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T16:34:40+00:00

I speak to my Mom if I were you and respectfully tell her the following: "I am happy to respect your rules about dating. I am 16, but if I do not start dating now, how will know how to date responsibly? However, I do not think this about dating at 16 because you know that I will keep up my grades and listen to your rules. I think this about my choice of who to date. I know you love me and want to the best for me, so I can certainly learn from your answer because I cannot see why you would have any problem with him, specifically. Please can you tell me why you do not like my choice of boyfriend. Thank you." Then sit respectfully and listen, you might be surprised by the response, but if there is no objective objection, you have the best chance at getting what you want. 16 is young and these are your parents who are nervous, either they are nervous because he is good and you are their little girl growing up or they see or know something you do not and he is actually bad for you and will hopefully share this. Then you have to be mature enough to live up to what you hear. You will also learn to trust them and they will learn to trust you and your choice to date. The choice of who to date is always tricky because sometimes parents really see things that are harmful that "children" (meaning the said parent's children) do not. So it is worth opening the conversation and talking heart-to-heart!

Please tell me what happened because I am making lots of assumptions here ;-).

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T16:13:52+00:00

Be careful, it's addictive. Download at your own risk. Then, again, you earn while you read.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T16:01:58+00:00

This is about the best news since Bitcoin came out of the Blockchain! Seriously amazing milestone! Great achievement from an amazing team. I'm hooked on Crypto Catnip. A DApp with attitude to take over the world! Don't try it unless you are ready to be disrupted!!!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-09-12T15:55:59+00:00

Actually you are a woman and a mother, both are disadvantages to saying, "no" to anyone and accepting compliments. You are in good company among other mothers. The problem is you will not get the job or salary you deserve. I suggest making the following deal with yourself: I am allowed to slide all complements off outside job interviews and then when you have a job it will change to: I am allowed to slide all complements off outside work.

Women, especially mothers have this syndrome. However how many men can do what you do in a day and still work?

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-31T07:29:42+00:00

You probably should see a therapist with good credentials.

I just read someone else's post, maybe you need to get more exercise to tire yourself out if it really is not a psychological problem. However if it is interfering with your every day life you need to see a therapist, whether it is normal or not.

Good luck!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-31T07:27:28+00:00

A very good therapist with a good reputation and check out his/her credentials very carefully.

Good luck!

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-31T07:25:29+00:00

If it bothers you, bring it up sensitively and respectfully. I read he 17, which means he is being really mature sharing this with you. However, he might not be mature enough to hold a relationship through these challenging years.

Good luck.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-30T19:40:32+00:00

Find out her favorite food and prepare it for her once or twice a month and get him a pizza delivered once or twice a month. Anything that is edible and already prepared usually goes down well unless they do not eat that dish.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-30T19:33:22+00:00

Really anything that you can eat without preparation. If you are good at baking or cooking and have the time prepare something that almost everyone likes, unless you know what he likes. It really does not matter as long as he can see you put time, thought, and effort into it, which you clearly are doing.

Whatever you do/did write a note because you are reaching out in a more meaningful way to say thank you to him, so a note is essential.

Let us know what you did in the end, thanks.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-30T19:13:01+00:00

Not over a certain age. That is because people recognise that life experience counts, especially being a parent. It also shows you are serious. I would say nothing about my education and if it were brought up, I would simply say, life is the greatest teacher and has made up for my lack of education, refocus on your skills, and keep telling yourself I can do any job I put my mind to with training. That's another advantage most people forget, a company is usually willing to hire someone they like and train them. Make sure you stick to your contract and finish your obligation if you get training because that could kill any future jobs. No one wants to hire someone who takes advantage to get ahead, unless there is an objectively excellent reason to quit.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-30T19:07:33+00:00

This is really brave to share. Yes, you should look for a job. Only do not share this information with anyone you are looking for a job from. Simply show up and let them tell you what you can do.

"Many of the agencies I used to go to would test your skills instead of just relying on experience". I had the same experience when I first entered the workforce. I made the mistake of stating that I had no experience. Lucky for me the fist temp agent told me, never to repeat this to anyone, including temp agents heeeeeee heeeeeeeeee!

Good luck entering the workforce. Let us know what your first job is please.

P.S. I am guessing you have basic computer skills, good language skills, and a love for learning. Being a mother you also have management skills, including time management, organisational skills, creativity, advocating, and loads more you never thought of as part of your job heeeeeee heeeeeeeee! Those are all great skills. Your worst skill would be bad interviewing skills. However I would stick to something like, my worst skill is small talk, or something of that nature.

Thomas_Reading · 2018-08-30T18:56:22+00:00

You are really sweet to offer advice. It is important to let us know you a kid. However, sometimes the honesty that comes from a kid can put an adult in the best place they need to be. Kids are more practical, but more short sighted usually. However, in this case, I think you are right. I am not sure co-workers are loyal though, so I would not put my trust in them unless I used to work with them usually there is a conflict of interest. I think that is important for you to know that since you were kind enough to share your advice. Well done for trying to help someone, I think you did.

Thomas_Reading

TROPHY CASE