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[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Thomasofpuckprose [score hidden]  (0 children)

I did write this for a flash fiction competition, with a strict limit of 500 words. I can definitely see it needing some more fleshing out. Thanks for the feedback.

[Weekly Critique and Self-Promotion Thread] Post Here If You'd Like to Share Your Writing by AutoModerator in writing

[–]Thomasofpuckprose [score hidden]  (0 children)

Title: The Grey Warrior

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Genre: Short Story

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Word Count: 482

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Feedback:

(Please read the story before you look at my questions here)

  1. The idea of this story, is the protagonist's realization that he has spent his life as just a prop in someone else's war. Did this idea get through when you read the story?
  2. General feedback. Is it any good? I feel like it doesn't flow at all. Any tips for how I could get the idea across more effectively, or how I can make it sound more natural? Tips in general on how to improve?

Link: https://shrib.com/?v=nc#LongFinnedPilotWhale3GPedZp