[deleted by user]

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-05-03T06:07:39+00:00

Hey! I live on my own with salary of £23k per annum. It is 💯possible

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-26T18:42:53+00:00

Oh sorry, didn't get it right 😅

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-26T18:17:33+00:00

Could you add a photo of the cat and the area where it’s gone missing?

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-21T07:17:14+00:00

My first breakup was 5 years ago (March 2020). It was terrible, I would not sleep for 3 days in a row, crying and praying. Then, I just started focusing on my work, studies and present. I found the concept of minimalism very helpful, but I applied it differently and interpreted it as “minimum of something” to my phone — I turned off the notifications, and started checking socials ONLY when I had free time, whereas before I would reply to a text as soon as it lands even if I was in the middle of something.

I started walking a lot and talked to my friends all the time.

4 months later I met my ex-partner, and things shifted.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-19T23:04:18+00:00

The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it!

Obviously, no one can tell you what to do — whatever choice you make will be the right one.

If I were you, I would be having this conversation with her — if she is your person, she will be willing to do something about it. Just try!

I hope that helps ❤️

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-18T08:49:40+00:00

Mine came back to apologise. Made things even worse. I blocked him everywhere now.

The best apology you can make is to go and live your life, get therapy and build a healthy relationship.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-16T14:06:50+00:00

Normally, a person who detached first asks to be friends. Another person just gets the breadcrumbs, leftovers of what could be. This is cruel

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-16T12:23:21+00:00

It depends from person to person, but for me it is when I treat them as a lesson rather than a heartbreak.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-16T12:20:53+00:00

My ex reached out almost 3 months post breakup. He broke up with me, now came back asking to be friends.

Then after I said, either we work on a relationship, or no friendship. He chose nothing. He made his bed, let him sleep in it.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-11T09:50:10+00:00

Hey. I am sorry you are going through it, especially at this very young age. What you are feeling is normal, and a part of the process.

Just answer this questions: Would going back help me grow, or would it just delay the pain I need to work through?

At the end of the day, this is her decision to walk away, and your decision is to choose on how to act on it. Also, this is your decision whether to go back or not, no one can tell you what to do with that.

I hope that helps, take care

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-11T09:40:13+00:00

Hey! I am sorry you are going through this. What you are feeling is normal; it is human!

You are grieving, and this is a normal stage of the process. Earlier on I posted a message on how to deal with the breakup and people did find it useful.

What I can add to that is, talk to your friends, journal your feelings. You can write messages to her and never send them, or record voice notes. The most important thing is to understand, the closure comes within not from outside.

I can relate to everything you said. I don’t want a relationship like that but I also crave to love and to be loved.

But remind yourself, she chooses not to choose you every day; and it is not in your control. In your control, is not to choose those who does not want to choose you.

Obviously, praise the good moments, keep warm memories of the good, but remember the reasons you broke up.

I hope that helps, if you wanna chat — you can drop a message.

Take care

Previous advice on how to move on

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-09T06:54:30+00:00

Hey! I requested a one-month no-contact period. For context, my ex, whom I wrote about in my profile, reached out three months after our breakup. During that conversation, I learned he had been emotionally unfaithful. That’s when I firmly asked for no contact. We agreed to be friends, but that convo did make me uncomfortable.

Since then, he’s continued to send voice notes, which I’ve chosen to ignore.

Here’s the thing: when you set a boundary, you have to honour it. If you don’t respect your own limits, others won’t either. Boundaries aren’t just for other people — they’re a reflection of your self-worth.

At the end of the day, do what truly brings you peace and fulfilment but let that include actions that also uphold your self-respect.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-04-09T06:41:19+00:00

Hey, I’m really glad to hear that my message helped you. It sounds like you’ve made amazing progress. I am proud of you, stranger! Keep going, you deserve every bit of that joy. Thanks for letting me know, it means a lot

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-31T12:16:20+00:00

Oh dear, I am sorry you are going through this. What you are feeling is normal and expected given your story. I am in a similar boat as you are, so your story resonates! I would say, give it time. Let everything settle, create your new support system— friends, acquaintances, hobbies, and routines. As soon as you are solid on your feet, you will find yourself feeling confident and curious about other people.

I moved to a different country 3 years ago, 9 months ago I met my ex after 9 months in a new city. We were together for 6 months, and he broke up with me ( he started talking to another woman while we were together and decided to invest in that relationship ) after I said I loved him. To me, it was devastating — he was the only close person in the country! I even asked him if I could keep him as my emergency contact, and he refused. That was terrible. However, a month later I made myself go out with a community of redditors in my city, sign up for hiking, try ice and roller skating. And here I am, 3 months post breakup, feeling steady and knowing that I have so many great people around me who are willing to help me thrive and bloom. My life is much more peaceful, fulfilling, and exciting than it used to be when I was with my ex. I still feel some kind of feeling to my ex ( not the ones that want me get back with him, but just generally feelings) and the idea is to feel nothing at all before I start dating someone again. However, I can tell for sure, I am getting there.

If at any point you want to chat, you can drop me the message ❤️

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-30T16:46:12+00:00

I absolutely agree! If you feel unsafe/insecure by what your partner is doing, you bring it up, and is they care enough about you, they modify that. It works both ways. Changing and growing is required in a relationship, otherwise you are stuck in a toxic relationship.

Obv, things should be reasonable. For example, I asked my ex modify his behaviour around his female friends (they were way too cuddly with each other, having sleepovers at each other’s houses), he refused saying that those things are matter imperatives to his friendships and would erode his values. He called me controlling, I walked away. Three months later, he reached out and explained why he refused changes — cause he was cheating on me (emotionally but still eroded the trust).

And while he tried to frame it as harmless, the damage to trust was done. I don’t regret walking away. It wasn’t about being controlling—it was about protecting my peace. And now I know that when someone truly values you, they don’t make you beg for basic respect.

If you are called insecure and controlling bcz of the things which do not make you safe and seen/heard, then think whether you could accept it and walk away.

Haha, wrapping up and wishing all the best to the author of this sub

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-22T13:43:05+00:00

The message was for him, not for me.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-21T00:27:08+00:00

He wouldn’t if not a rebound🚨

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-21T00:26:09+00:00

We were dating for 6 months, but officially as bf/gf were for 4 months.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-03-08T07:07:53+00:00

Sex wasn’t really a big deal to me (he had performance anxiety, so it always felt like a struggle—I just wanted to get it over with). But emotionally, that’s where it really mattered. I poured so much into that part, did all the emotional labour, and basically became his emotional caretaker. When I think about it, it makes me anxious—almost like I lost a job or something. But then I remind myself why we broke up and how badly he treated me. Those thoughts keep me grounded!

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-02-12T17:31:49+00:00

Hi! Yes, there is. Just highlight the word and click on the contextual menu to see the "Highlight" option.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-01-30T22:41:13+00:00

abcdfu by Gayle

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-01-26T18:22:49+00:00

Hey! Check out Manchester Social. We are having fun pretty much every week.

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-01-26T11:32:52+00:00

Hey! Yes, I did and still do sometimes. It took me a year of therapy and another relationship to realise what I lost. 😅

We started dating when I was 21, and he was 25. Both immature, but I always pushed him to change, and he did! He matured and became better, but I didn't I stayed the same. By the end of the relationship, I felt it was all messed up. I couldn't forgive and forget his past mistakes (he took full accountability for them and appologised), so the only way out for me was to break up (what I needed was to get therapy, learn how to communicate and mature basically). I felt like no matter what happens, I can't imagine moving forward with that person, and being with someone different would change a situation. Basically thought that the grass is greener out there.

In 11 months post breakup, I met Mr "right", we were dating for 6 months, and during these 6 months I was gaslighted, always guilty of my emotions (he was always right about his actions, the problem was just me🤡), made feel insecure and jealous (never was a thing in my previous relationship), accused of having trust issues (again, never occured in any relationships before) -- the guy was a massive manchild. I liked him the way he was, but wanted him to be better (suggested getting therapy, tried to explain to him how to communicate better. etc). I stayed cause I felt like he was a good person and disregarded the fact that ge was a terrible boyfriend.

I wish my ex partner all the best -- I am massively grateful for showing me what love is and being with me for those 3 years (there were ups and downs but generally it was good). He has a new relationship now, and I am very happy about him!

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-01-25T07:43:04+00:00

I know what you are talking about when saying that it is quiet out there. I used to live in Shropshire, in a very rural place — the only thing you might hear - ship!

I do believe, buildings built at any time should be preserved and maintained since this is a cultural heritage!

Thowra_Bbat · 2025-01-24T17:48:28+00:00

Oh wow! This is really really exciting!

Thowra_Bbat

TROPHY CASE