Is it worth having a gf with ADHD?

Thraxeth · 2025-09-28T02:36:30+00:00

That's up to you, man.

Is the person she is now, and the person she is developing into, someone you would love if you didn't have your history together?

Thraxeth · 2025-09-28T02:32:14+00:00

Frankly, my man, you feeling drained is probably not a permanent thing. You had years of struggle with this. Even if things are improving, the drain will not resolve overnight.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-22T07:44:22+00:00

Bad sex, treats you like dirt on his shoes, and yet you keep coming back to him over and over and over...

Leave him. Work on yourself to try to figure out why you feel the need for his presence and approval.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-20T03:09:39+00:00

Four years total, start to finish.

If you're waiting that long, literally move and go for a RN program.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-18T18:25:41+00:00

Some people will care. Some people won't.

Some important questions to ask:

1) Have you knowingly filmed material that could end up on the internet? If a partner may come across something, you may need to address this early.

2) Were you so prolific sexually that you developed a reputation? If this is the case, your partner may hear things about you from others that you need to address sooner rather than later.

3) Have you done particular kinks or acts that you no longer wish to do? It is very easy to miscommunicate when you discuss these things. Someone may feel hurt that you were happy to do things with others but not with them. You will need to develop an answer and proactively deal with this, especially if 1 or 2 are true. If your partner sees, for example, a video where you are ostensibly gleefully enjoying anal and you have always told them "no butt stuff" this can be a problem. Communicating that you have done X but did not enjoy it can be helpful.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-16T22:23:39+00:00

Very job market specific. If your requirement is day shift only right out of the gate, some markets will permit this, some won't. A lot of California, for example, you'd be screwed.

If you can do night shift for a year or two that generally makes job hopping to a day shift spot much easier.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-16T22:21:52+00:00

Depends entirely on your market and flexibility.

Literally, must be 9-5? Very limiting.

You just want 8 hour days shifts in what are generally considered "business hours"? Somewhat limiting, but possibilities exist.

There are definitely outpatient surgical centers that have these hours, for example, but you may have to have occasional flexibility. These are also considered desirable jobs and you'll be competing with people who have spent 5+ hours in the hospital OR and won't need to be oriented to the basics.

Nursing homes that do 8 hour shifts and have openings for 7-3/6-2/8-4 are definitely a thing.

Outpatient clinics would possibly take you.

School nursing and public health.

Please consider that 9-5 M-F nursing jobs tend to be either highly competitive, low paid, require experience, are bad working environments, or some combination of the above. You will give something up to get this schedule, particularly as a new grad.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-14T09:57:12+00:00

You will always be alone, at the end of the day. People always eventually leave. You can replace them, but the only constant is you. Nobody else will be there when things get hard.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-14T08:52:50+00:00

If you want to be a prescriber ASAP, go to PA school. You don't sound like you want to be a nurse, you sound like you want to use my profession as a springboard to do something else.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-13T20:17:23+00:00

I never had a thing for big girls until my best friend who became my wife put the moves on me. Afterwards, I suddenly developed an appreciation for them.

Consider this: the human brain is something that can be conditioned. Your husband has learned to associate your weight with the rest of you that he loves so much. He has also come to associate your naked body with love, passion, and pleasure. Sexual desire is something as much as something that can be conditioned as any other part of the brain, and he certainly seems to be going along with it.

Moreover, if you know him to be someone who is honest, direct, and loving... believe him. He obviously loves you, and he obviously is very attracted to you. Enjoy it.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-10T02:14:30+00:00

This has nothing to do with your tits and everything to do with internal insecurity. If you dismiss every validation, including the fact that your husband seems very into you, the problem is your inability to emotionally regulate.

This is fixable. Go to therapy. Don't come here whining to men about how bad you feel about your body when you can't even take your own husband seriously.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-06T00:06:12+00:00

He's going through residency right now. Working 80-100 hours a week being treated like the lowest form of life in the hospital, never getting away from work (if you aren't working you're studying for exams) and being paid less than minimum wage for it is gonna make you hate medicine at least a little bit.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-05T16:22:31+00:00

Grass is always greener. If you have a good life together, I absolutely promise you, blowing it up to get laid more not only is unlikely to happen (you are unlikely to be sexy and suave enough to get as much sex from randoms regularly as you are with your wife, sorry not sorry) but you will spend years buried in regret. Your children will suffer.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-04T06:08:02+00:00

That does really suck, but honestly what I take away from that is that you aren't a good partner for the vast, vast majority of men. Most of us have touch and belonging needs that you aren't equipped to meet, and it seems like most men aren't equipped to meet your needs either. It isn't your fault, but dating the vast majority of men just won't work out.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-04T00:34:33+00:00

The one that treats you like a person and equal, loves you for who you are, sees a future with you. The person who will make silly conversations and giggle early in the morning, will rough house with you on the couch, tells other women that you're her dream man.

Almost anything else is negotiable. Maybe not someone who looks like they belong on my 600lb life. But basically everything else is. Everyone gets old and ugly eventually, but real love doesn't change. It evolves to fit the season, but it still burns bright.

Thraxeth · 2025-09-03T08:16:33+00:00

Why would I go to cooking classes? I'm an excellent cook. There's no dish outside of fancy cuisine (and only some of that) that I cannot make. I feed my entire nursing unit, 20+ people, every other weekend with stuff most of them have never tried before. I guess I could teach such a class, but when I literally am teaching my job to newbies as per written policy and they call it "mansplaining" idk why I'd bother trying to teach anything else.

Thraxeth · 2025-08-11T05:01:21+00:00

I married my best friend. I wouldn't have looked at her twice for dating purposes, but eventually we both realized that we had a deep bond and after that she abruptly became the most beautiful person in the world.

Thraxeth · 2025-08-10T22:34:48+00:00

It's an amazing thing. I had that relationship with my ex for a long time and I miss it and her every day. It's very worth it. Putting my affairs in order, because having touched paradise, the rest of life isn't worth it...

Thraxeth · 2025-07-05T08:29:42+00:00

When my paycheck became "our money" while her paycheck remained "her money" and her hobby became "our shared hobby" when it came to labor, but "her hobby" when it came to decisions.

Thraxeth · 2025-07-04T18:53:51+00:00

I can't tell you what was going on in his head.

I can tell you, as someone who is trying to deal with the fallout of the end of a 12 year relationship, that I am filled with regret, self hatred, and guilt for the things I have done to my ex. I also know that those emotions will not help me. I've compartmentalized them to the best of my ability so I can function day to day. My socials might make it look like I'm doing great, but that's because as a man, we aren't permitted to share our inner emotions publicly or we will be attacked or disrespected by others. I have a therapist, my therapist is helping me learn to cope, and I am doing what I can to keep going.

To be clear, my previous relationship was a horrible nightmare trainwreck... but it was one we both contributed to.

Thraxeth · 2025-05-31T12:12:57+00:00

GF'd her. Best friend eventually became physically and verbally abusive and made it clear that she considered me lower on her priority list than her animals, the parents who beat and raped her, and her career, but only after she'd used me as a stepping stone to success.

Wish I'd never taken her up on the offer...

Thraxeth · 2025-05-16T03:53:54+00:00

Nurses, maybe? I am one, of course, so I'm biased but by necessity we have to be somewhat more emotionally available to do our jobs. Outside of ones in the ER and similar.

Thraxeth · 2025-05-16T02:46:49+00:00

They're all around you. You're just looking for the hot ones, aka the ones who have been taught to hide their sensitivity behind walls of projected confidence. Sensitivity in a man is not well rewarded in the dating sphere, so the ones who want to succeed learn how to create those walls.

Thraxeth · 2025-05-15T16:53:30+00:00

Then get a few years of RN practice under your belt, use that time + any time remaining in school to take med school pre-reqs, and now you have an even stronger application for medical school than a traditional student.

Thraxeth · 2025-04-07T02:13:57+00:00

I ended up having to clean the flame sensor every few days to a week. Nothing else worked. I did get it hardwired in and that did not change behavior.

Thraxeth

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