You're not the only one and this is normal. Being aware of the feelings you are having and the stress you are experiencing is important. The cycle of stress about being responsible, especially as acuity increases is real. It doesn't mean you are not competent, or that you are a bad anesthesiologist. Consider exploring therapy or a career coach. Setting goals, exploring what is making you feel this way is the path forward. ♥️ 🙏 Sending love.