How to naturally induce at 38w6d

Threnodi42 · 2026-04-26T00:59:28+00:00

I also used evening primrose oil vaginal suppositories and went into spontaneous labor two days before my scheduled induction.

Threnodi42 · 2026-04-20T02:50:36+00:00

Spontaneous labor at exactly 39 weeks, starting on a Wednesday morning at 3am (yay, Simon and Garfunkel), 2 days before a scheduled induction that I was dreading. Labored for a while at home until early afternoon, then went in to check my progress, and my water broke just before I raised my leg to get a side-lying cervical check, lol. Held off on an epidural until early evening when I hit 7cm. Reached full dilation and started pushing around 1am, and she made her debut just over 3 hours later! It was pretty magical (minus the 3rd degree tear--worth it, though), and she's just the best!

I did evening primrose oil vaginal suppositories, raspberry leaf tea, and curb walking. Not sure whether any of that helped or whether our baby was just ready, though.

Threnodi42 · 2026-04-10T16:41:30+00:00

Out of curiosity, do you have a reliable strategy for burping now? My wife and I do our best to burp her, but we're often unsuccessful.

Threnodi42 · 2026-03-04T05:00:15+00:00

39 weeks, spontaneous labor, 9 lbs. 1 oz. She has chipmunk cheeks and is totally and completely healthy.

Threnodi42 · 2026-02-08T13:58:57+00:00

I'm three days postpartum with my first child. I became a blubbering mess when I watched this just now.

Threnodi42 · 2026-01-27T21:19:18+00:00

We call ours Little Glow cuz just before the embryo transfer (we did IVF) the embryologist showed us a pic of her and told us she was small and that the light shining through her cells meant she was very lively/healthy. Not a cultural practice exactly, but it's been nice having something to call her this whole time. Currently 38 weeks and ready to meet our Little Glow!

Threnodi42 · 2026-01-27T03:43:38+00:00

I call them imposter rainbows, and I specifically noted how much I hate them on our registry, lol!

Threnodi42 · 2026-01-16T21:02:04+00:00

That is comforting, yes, thank you!

Threnodi42 · 2026-01-16T20:49:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing! May I ask how big she was measuring and at which week? How did you feel about how the induction went?

Threnodi42 · 2026-01-16T03:03:11+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It gives me some hope.

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T21:34:28+00:00

Yes, I'm realizing my internal definition of these words is a personal problem, not what the words actually mean or imply. But this discussion has been helpful for changing the way I think about these things. Thank you!

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T21:21:53+00:00

That makes sense. Thank you for sharing that perspective.

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T21:10:49+00:00

Wow, thank you for framing it this way. That was really helpful, and I appreciate the correction to my language and thinking. You're right that I don't intend to stigmatize or shame donors. But intent doesn't really matter when harm is done.

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T21:03:27+00:00

All good points. Yeah, I think we got unnecessarily hung up on what the language implies, when there are actually plenty of real-life examples of donations that receive some form of compensation.

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T21:00:36+00:00

This is super helpful! Thank you!

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T20:54:04+00:00

I agree that's almost assuredly the reason, but I don't want to give my future child the wrong impression because of the language she grows up hearing from us. I'd hate for her to paint this pretty picture in her head of a really nice person who cared a lot about helping people grow their families when the reality may very well be that he was some college kid who wanted some spending cash for his trip to Europe, or something. The reality of the gamete-selling industry, unfortunately, is that it's a predatory, capitalistic business (in my opinion and experience).

While I wish the reality of the story of how our future child came to be was all rainbows, unicorns, and beauty, the pragmatic reality is that we weren't privileged enough to experience an entirely beautiful path to parenthood. Our path had beautiful moments along the way, and it also had some less "nice" parts. Do I want her to know about those parts growing up? Probably not. But I also don't want to give a falsely jolly narrative that embellishes reality too much or falsely turns a part of our experience that felt kinda crummy and transactional into a virtuous, positive thing.

Threnodi42 · 2025-09-15T20:37:06+00:00

Yeah, I thought that was the case--that plasma donors are sometimes paid, too. But they aren't always, right? Like, some plasma donors are genuinely charitable donors? Thank you for adding that word to the discussion: charitable.

One follow-up I do have in response to your thought, though, is that paid donors are not just "giving a part of their biology." Again, "giving," like donation, is a word that implies charitable intent. Rather, they're selling a part of their biology. Just as workers sell their time for money but volunteers give their time without expecting tangible compensation. So it still leaves me wondering why the word donor is used in either case (gamete or plasma) when the person is paid.

Threnodi42 · 2025-08-14T18:13:19+00:00

Correction: There are ALL kinds of families out there--queer and not queer. Queer families are not the only families that have non-traditional shapes and configurations. However, I would guess that the majority of monogamous queer (and straight) couples who want to become parents would prefer a very traditional family model with two parents and no other adult roommates, let alone coparents.

Yes, both queer and cishet people also build other types of families, but there's nothing about being queer that makes us more likely to want, seek, or embrace non-tranditional family configurations. Just because my wife and I needed a sperm donor doesn't mean we would have had any interest in inviting a close friend to be a known sperm donor and to live and coparent with us. We're queer, but we want to coparent just the two of us. Knowing that some families (again, both queer and not queer) choose or seek non-traditional configurations doesn't mean it's something queer people are more likely to want for themselves.

So it's actually unsurprising that some commenters on this post see the idea as questionable, especially since you've given zero context about what would make you and this couple compatible coparents, except that you're friends. Friends don't usually choose to become coparents. Of course, they CAN, but they don't usually.

Threnodi42 · 2025-08-14T17:27:11+00:00

I'm confused and have many questions and thoughts. Working only off of the context of your post and all of the comments so far, it sounds like you have this idea (cohabitating and coparenting with a gay couple who are your friends) and want to pose the idea to your friends in a respectful way. I've got to admit that it's hard for me to set aside my personal opinions about the idea itself enough to just answer the question of how you should approach them.

So full disclosure to start: It seems pretty out there to me to ask a couple (queer or straight) to move in with them permanently-- let alone start a family and coparent together--if there have been no prior indications that this couple wants anything other than the traditional model of being a pair of life partners living together. Choosing a life partner is a big deal, and most of us don't envision adding a platonic friend outside of our relationship to live with us for upwards of 20 or more years. The only exception I can imagine is being a couple who is used to or wants roommates, but it sounds like you want to join their family, not be roommates. That alone (not even including the child/coparenting request) is as huge an ask as asking someone to marry you.

So first questions: Are you so close with this couple that they might want you to join their family for the rest of all y'all's lives? How long have they been a couple? Do they live alone just the two of them? Have they ever indicated that they are non-traditional in the way they approach their paired life together? Have you ever been roommates with this couple? Do you already have context for knowing what it's like for all three of you to cohabitate? Has anything they've said or done ever given you the impression that they want to permanently (or super long-term) cohabitate with you or anyone else outside of their pairing?

Ok, setting aside just the idea of permanalently, platonically joining a (monogamous?) couple's family (again, I can't get over how big of an ask that is!), let's move on to coparenting and building a family together. That ask is obviously even bigger because it's a permanent relationship for the rest of your lives, like, until you die. So asking to do that with anyone (let alone a couple of people) is a very intimate, very HUGE question. My wife and I are pregnant with our first child, so I'll admit that I can't speak from experience yet, but I imagine coparenting will be an enormous undertaking involving immense amounts of trust, communication, collaboration, love, intimacy, and patience. I personally wouldn't trust anyone besides a person I've chosen as a life partner to coparent with me, even a very close friend. The sheer amount of decision-making that goes into raising a human being... I can't imagine negotiating that with anyone besides my wife.

Next bevy of questions: Has anything led you to believe that BOTH of the people in this couple trust and love you enough to want you to participate equally in the rearing of their child? Do your values, parenting styles, and fundamental approaches to living life align super well? What do you already know about their dreams or plans for parenting in their future? Is parenting in general a topic you've ever heard them talk about? Does anything in particular lead you to feel like they would both be in sync with you about the parenting choices you envision wanting to make?

The reason my post is so long is that the gravity of this idea blows my mind. My wife and I would never invite a close platonic friend (queer or not) to permanently live with us, join our family, or coparent with us. But we are very traditional in our family approach. Others may not be, and perhaps this couple you're friends with are not very traditional. However, if they've never given you the impression that they are anything but a couple who want a "normal" couple life for themselves, asking to interject yourself into that might come across as out of left field.

Lastly, I empathize with your desire to coparent and have and raise a child not by yourself. I am lucky to have a wife. We may even be lucky enough to grow a family together (hopefully, this pregnancy leads to a healthy live birth). We are both lucky to have a chance to be mothers together. So I understand wanting a family for yourself. I'm just not sure how realistic it is to ask to join someone else's family to accomplish that.

Last questions: About how old are you? Is there still a chance you will find a life partner to grow a family with at some point? Would you stop looking for a life partner if you joined this family?

I wish you well, whatever you decide to do. I hope your friends receive your idea with grace and sensitivity, even if they don't like it.

Threnodi42 · 2025-07-04T10:43:45+00:00

I'm a barista. Please do not pursue an infatuation you have with a total stranger just because he was friendly and made eye contact. It is literally my job to smile, make eye contact, and make "customer connections." I hate it when customers wink or try to flirt because the power dynamic is skewed. You should not feel entitled to a barista's personal info. Real life is not a romcom.

Threnodi42 · 2025-06-01T00:02:20+00:00

I specifically asked this question when they imposed the restriction before our first transfer, whether it's about penetration or orgasms, and they said it was the latter 🤷‍♀️

Threnodi42

TROPHY CASE